Tuesday, 30 December 2008

KNOBS AND KNOCKERS




Miss Scarlet relaxing in her palatial home














Miss Scarlet has a new back door . As Beast is the south coasts leading Fashion Icon and Style Guru (Who can forget the Beasts signature stylish MANBAG ) . I have been commissioned to apply my 'Door furniture zeitgeist' and submit suggestions for Miss Scarlets Ornamental Doorknob.
Rumours abound that Miss Scarlets palatial pied a terre features acres of white shag pile , the occasional chaise longue and a multitude of Doric columns , and the general hedonistic ambiance that leads one to consider re enacting the fall and rise of the Roman Empire before tea.
However all is not well at the House of the Beast , My Assistant Miss MJ (a surly strumpet who spends all day painting her nails and begrudgingly makes the occaional cup of dreadful coffee)seems to have been tinkering with my browser settings and I only seem to be able to retrieve images of a most peculiar nature .
I trust Miss Scarlet will find something fitting in my restricted selections
The Recommended designs
1.The Morning Glory.










2.Greeting The Dawn
















3.Black Beauty








4.Gripper





32 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

The knob of choice has to be 'Greeting the Dawn'... I am a morning type of girl, plus it can double up as a coat hook.
I must have a lie down on my chaise longue... I am quite undone..
Sx

BEAST said...

***proffers Miss Scarlet a reviving fish finger***

Gorilla Bananas said...

That's a fine collection of knobs, Beast, but how much force is required to pull them? A delicate minx like Miss Scarlet might find them a little too stiff.

BEAST said...

Its all about leverage Mr Bananas , I am sure Miss Scarlet could exert some firm pressure at the right end and achieve a result

scarlet-blue said...

....I am even more undone, especially by the proffered fish fingers....
Sx

Tickersoid said...

Oh it's so easy just to blame MJ.

PERVERT!

Daisy said...

usually in my area...when we refer to a knob...it is, well, a certain type of person...

hope things twist the right way for you in 2009 beast...and i wish you all the best...

MJ said...

Please wash your stinky fish fingers.

And blow on my nails while you're at it.

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
....I am even more undone, especially by the proffered fish fingers....

The Beast knows how to wow the Ladies :-)

BEAST said...

Tickersoid said...
Oh it's so easy just to blame MJ.

PERVERT!

Its a fair cop Mr Ticks however Miss MJ won the Knudsen award for the filthiest blog for a reason

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
usually in my area...when we refer to a knob...it is, well, a certain type of person...
What do you call a door knob then ???

hope things twist the right way for you in 2009 beast...and i wish you all the best...

They show no signs of doing that MIss Daisy but we live in hope . However best wishes to you and yours for the New Year :-)

mutleythedog said...

You would get even less visitors than me with a door knob like those...

I shall be round at about six with the festive 'special brew' and a case of KY gel ..the Curate hopes to be out on bail today, and Mr F has some wacky backy.. all in all its looking like a good one!

Hoppy naw Yoar Mr B!!

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Please wash your stinky fish fingers.
Would you like to borrow my wet wipes ???
And blow on my nails while you're at it
Is that a euphemism Miss MJ , you saucy minx

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
You would get even less visitors than me with a door knob like those...

I shall be round at about six with the festive 'special brew' and a case of KY gel ..the Curate hopes to be out on bail today, and Mr F has some wacky backy.. all in all its looking like a good one!

Hoppy naw Yoar Mr B!!

The Beast would caution against the wisdom of a heady Mix of special brew and KY Jelly Mr Mutley , however it may make the traditional grudge match of strip twister between Frobisher and the curate come to a sticky end.Happy New Year to you and yours :-)

Daisy said...

beast...we call them "door knobs" or
"handles" but we don't just say knob because that implies something totally different...
Happy new years eve beast...i hope you have a wonderful evening...

CyberPete said...

I'd vote for no 2.

It's not as flashy as the other ones.

Happy New Year Beastie!

eroswings said...

You'll only attract Jehovah's Witnesses and people will steal them off the door!

They seem easy enough to polish! Just use lube if they get stuck!

Happy New Year, Beast! Best wishes for a safe, fun, and great New Year!

Anonymous said...

couldyou callme at some point pleas

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
I'd vote for no 2.

It's not as flashy as the other ones.

Happy New Year Beastie!
I might have guessed you would go for that one Pete

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
You'll only attract Jehovah's Witnesses and people will steal them off the door!

They seem easy enough to polish! Just use lube if they get stuck!

Happy New Year, Beast! Best wishes for a safe, fun, and great New Year!
Its going to be dull Mr E , I am on me own this year , watching a few movies and eating loads

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
couldyou callme at some point pleas

Hello 'at some point please'

***tapes up splitting sides***
:-)
Well I did and your not in
Harumph

KAZ said...

Happy New Year Beast.
I'll have one of each please.

Nuvalostlamb said...

Awesome selection of knobs Beast - have a good one!

inkspot said...

Which is the self-portrait?

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
Happy New Year Beast.
I'll have one of each please.
HAPPY NEW YEAR KAZ
Are you still swanning about in Spain ?

BEAST said...

Nuvalostlamb said...
Awesome selection of knobs Beast - have a good one!

why thank you lambikins :-)

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Which is the self-portrait?

The hand Mr Inky !

MJ said...

You have such feminine hands.

What do you use to moisturize?

BEAST said...

CHIP FAT

Ms Smack said...

Um, I would not want to use those!

ironmongeryproducts.co.uk said...

http://ironmongeryproducts.co.uk/

its a big online-store to purchase door handles, knobs, knockers, hinges, locks and much more you want and get 10%(percent) discount on any orders and its a limited timed offer.

ironmongeryproducts.co.uk said...

http://ironmongeryproducts.co.uk/

its a big online-store to purchase door handles, knobs, knockers, hinges, locks and much more you want and get 10%(percent) discount on any orders and its a limited timed offer.

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