Thursday, 15 April 2010


Not content with pinching our savings in the great Icesave swindle ,thus forcing poor Frobisher to earn a few  extra pennies to supplement his meagre pension desporting himself of an evening dressed as a lady. Those Zany Icelanders are at it again

On this occasion the devils are wafting a great cloud of volcanic ash over the UK .This has not only bought our aviation industry to a grinding halt .It will probably add insult to injury  and probably drop a foul mess all over poor Mr C's newly steam cleaned pristine back passage.

As an antidote to all this appalling behaviour The Beast scoured the interwebs for amusing facts about Iceland.
In short there don't seem to be any .....except (get ready to tape up those splitting sides)


As I wring out my mirth moistened underwear , I noticed that the other interesting fact is that most of the Icelandic forbears came from Norway and Iceland has an abundance of fish
So we know how they amuse themselves on those long dark winter nights(Which last 20 hours)
***Gives knowing nod to Miss MJ***
 Miss Scarlets fish finger fan pales in comparison

Wednesday, 7 April 2010


Easter , Easter , Easter , while all the rest of you are dossing about scratching your nether regions , gorging on cheap and nasty chocolate or aimlessly drifting round garden centres . The Beast was working (Well what a fecking surprise) . The Cafe was rammed Friday and Saturday daytimes and we were jammed solid for the Saturday Rubber Duck Cabaret Nite with an additional Hen Party of 25 shoe Horned in at the last minute for dinner and carousing .Beast cooked , the singers sang , Mavis bingoed and Mr C got plastered.
Easter sunday Beast scraped confetti off the floor and pondered the Easter mysteries , like how come no one bought me an egg......tight ass miserable bastards , but this was soon forgotten when it was announced we were off for a Cafe C visit to Thorpe Park the next day.
After a night of fevered excitement Easter Monday finally dawned , and Beast set off to rendevue with James Mr C and the girls in a car park off the M27 , where we coffee'd and set off .
The Park was busy when we arrived so we bought the fasttrack tickets so we could swan ahead of the polyester clad sweating masses and lord it at the front of the queue. I wanted to buy the really really expensive premium tickets , where I imagine being ceremoniously borne upon a gilded litter towards the front of the queue , with scantilly clad hand maidens scattering rose petals and silvered sugared almonds in my path . Sadly Mr C vitoed this suggestion in favour of more donuts and burgers.
The rides were great and my top three are as follows

Collosus . Its wicked , packed with loops and corkscrews and all with your legs dangling , getting a bit of air to your vitals :-)

Tidal Wave . I love this ride , you get soaked thru to your pants (Underpants for our colonial cousins)

Saw . Themed on the film franchise and features a vertical climb and drop over an overhang with plenty of loops , corkscrews and unexpected drops

There was even more thrills for one of our party as Thorpe Park is right in the flight path of the main take off runway of London Heathrow  .Poor James was nearly sick on the crappy 'backwards in the dark' rollercoaster . I think it was a case of over excitement from all those 747's and the like powering overhead . He completely blew his studied nonchelance when he breathlessly squeaked out an impressive list of statistics when one of those new double decker 800 seater Jumbo's lumbered into the sky to sarcastic hoots of derision from Mr C
We all had a marvellous day and were about the last people to be thrown  dripping from the park after just one last go on Tidal Wave.
What did you all get up to for the Easter weekend ???
Does anyone know how to get the spellchecker back , its seems to have dissapeared from the blogger toolbar ???
I just realised it wasnt collosus I liked best it was Nemesis Inferno , which was dangly ,loopy , corkscrewy fun

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