Wednesday, 7 April 2010


Easter , Easter , Easter , while all the rest of you are dossing about scratching your nether regions , gorging on cheap and nasty chocolate or aimlessly drifting round garden centres . The Beast was working (Well what a fecking surprise) . The Cafe was rammed Friday and Saturday daytimes and we were jammed solid for the Saturday Rubber Duck Cabaret Nite with an additional Hen Party of 25 shoe Horned in at the last minute for dinner and carousing .Beast cooked , the singers sang , Mavis bingoed and Mr C got plastered.
Easter sunday Beast scraped confetti off the floor and pondered the Easter mysteries , like how come no one bought me an egg......tight ass miserable bastards , but this was soon forgotten when it was announced we were off for a Cafe C visit to Thorpe Park the next day.
After a night of fevered excitement Easter Monday finally dawned , and Beast set off to rendevue with James Mr C and the girls in a car park off the M27 , where we coffee'd and set off .
The Park was busy when we arrived so we bought the fasttrack tickets so we could swan ahead of the polyester clad sweating masses and lord it at the front of the queue. I wanted to buy the really really expensive premium tickets , where I imagine being ceremoniously borne upon a gilded litter towards the front of the queue , with scantilly clad hand maidens scattering rose petals and silvered sugared almonds in my path . Sadly Mr C vitoed this suggestion in favour of more donuts and burgers.
The rides were great and my top three are as follows

Collosus . Its wicked , packed with loops and corkscrews and all with your legs dangling , getting a bit of air to your vitals :-)

Tidal Wave . I love this ride , you get soaked thru to your pants (Underpants for our colonial cousins)

Saw . Themed on the film franchise and features a vertical climb and drop over an overhang with plenty of loops , corkscrews and unexpected drops

There was even more thrills for one of our party as Thorpe Park is right in the flight path of the main take off runway of London Heathrow  .Poor James was nearly sick on the crappy 'backwards in the dark' rollercoaster . I think it was a case of over excitement from all those 747's and the like powering overhead . He completely blew his studied nonchelance when he breathlessly squeaked out an impressive list of statistics when one of those new double decker 800 seater Jumbo's lumbered into the sky to sarcastic hoots of derision from Mr C
We all had a marvellous day and were about the last people to be thrown  dripping from the park after just one last go on Tidal Wave.
What did you all get up to for the Easter weekend ???
Does anyone know how to get the spellchecker back , its seems to have dissapeared from the blogger toolbar ???
I just realised it wasnt collosus I liked best it was Nemesis Inferno , which was dangly ,loopy , corkscrewy fun


Princess said...

Great Photos Mr Beast,

It is good to see that you were able to enjoy a day off with such an adventure..

I'm not a big fan of rollercoasters following a traumatic incident during my childhood.

I managed to turn green and throw up in front of a group of friends following a ride on a fairly "Tame" one at Luna Park in Melbourne back in the 70's.
My mates all rolled around in fits of laughter at my distress... of course... who needes clowns for entertainment?

That experience cured me for life, tho I would be prepared to try one again before i die...

*Making note on "Do before you Die list"*

eroswings said...

I luv amusement parks and rollercoasters! Princess, I've learned not to eat at least two hours before going on a ride, and it helps if you scream during the ride--it makes for a much more pleasant and fun experience.

That's a great way to spend the day, Beast! The rides look like fun!

MJ said...

Is this the Alton Towers of the south?

BEAST said...

Princess : Rollercoasters are not to everyones taste , but I love them ***runs about excitedly***
Mr E .It was fun and we didnt have to queue very much , which was even better :-)
Miss MJ , Alton Towers is bigger , but its a bit too far away for a day trip , plus you have the added frisson that you might bump into Piggy.We only have Thorpe Park and Chessington World of Adventures in the south , both of which are ok , Thorpe Park has newer and bigger rides to thrill a jaded old Beast.

Scarlet Blue said...

...I bet Walnut World is better...

BEAST said...

Oh thats cruel Miss Scarlet !
We will never know the wonders of Walnut World

MJ said...

I have not been able to reach Piggy for days.

He and Tazzy have a seasons pass to Alton Towers.

Do you suppose they're on the rollercoasters as we speak?

MJ said...

Oh Miss Scarlet... Walnut World.


BEAST said...

Piggy is all over facebook like a nasty rash , so lord knows what he is up to . Don't encourage Miss Scarlet on her walnut related fantasies, it will only lead to a life of dissolution and scandal

MJ said...

Perhaps he is ignoring me then.

I do so want to tell him that IVD has taken to wearing reading glasses.

BEAST said...

I am sure he will be in touch when he has finished ranting on Facebook :-)

Scarlet Blue said...

...I hear that they are opening a Brazilian nut universe in a layby just off the M48.....

donn w2Nz said...

Gadzooks..Rollercoasters in England?

..and here I presumed that one would expect to find proper Englishmen in stylish Edwardian garb poo-pooing the very notion of their good-lady-wife mounting one of those insanely fast Painted Pony Carousels...

"I should think not Madame, what if there was a sudden gust of wind and you were to strike the delicate ladybits of your swimsuit area against the saddle's horn..again and again and again?"

"Might bloody well put you out of commission for months? No skin off your back but a Gentleman has needs I can assure you."

BEAST said...

Miss Scarlet , as you well know that Walnut world or Le Monde du Walnut was in France so your M48 story sounds like a fabrication . Your very naughty.

Donn , there is no excuse for a blatant falunting(Oooooh I just invented a new word , I actually meant flaunting) of tenderised Lady Parts on this blog , however as you are 'from the colonies' we shall let it pass.

BEAST said...

MJ. Piggy said he cannot comment on you blog anymore unless he has a blogger profile , and is refusing to get one in the usual Piggy styleeee tantrum

MJ said...

The nerve!

Do you have any idea how many hoops I've had to jump through and registrations I've had to fill in every time he reorganized his blog?

I shall be having a word with him and soon!

inkspot said...

Get yourself a Serbo-Croat spellchecker Beast, it would add a new dimension to your blog.

Or Polish, I'm not fussy.

MJ said...

Yorkshire's biggest poofs are back at this URL...

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