Thursday 30 August 2012

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GOD AWEFULNESS


As Miss MJ prepared to launch the Infomaniac Personal Housekeeping Experience.
The lovely Gruchenka invites you to imagine her gently carressing your  sanded wood with her moistened mop or flitting about polishing your nic nacks and knobs.
You have to admit gentle reader this new offering from the House of Infomaniac is practically selling itself

***retires to lie down in a darkened room***

Wednesday 8 August 2012

The Pelicans Brief(s)

We all love a legal thriller . John Grisham's sales figures will attest to that .
Well dear reader we are lucky enough to have one brewing on our  very doorstep.

Fellow Blogger Miss Scarlet has been having a ghastly time with a recent property deal gone bad , which I am sure she will be blogging about shortly .
During all this fuss and bother Miss Scarlet finally stamped a dainty foot and vowed 'to go legal' .
Great legal minds were engaged ......
Briefs were posted.....
Apologies for sending underwear were mailed...
Arguments were contructed....
Legal precedents were researched
Paralegals scampered
Wigs were straightened
Then Miss Scarlet got in a bit of a muddle
Finally the crack legal team ....cracked.
The upshot of all palaver is, writs are flying everywhere .
Miss Scarlet is simultaniously
Firstly Suing Mr C for a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

  An unremembered  marraige has come as a bit of a shock to Mr C  , this is probably becuase it never         happened , but lets face it after a drunken night of cavorting  at Cafe C and supping of the nectar from Mr C's magic shot bottle , anything however unlikely probably sounded like a good idea at the time .

Mr C is contesting on  grounds that 'What happens in Cafe C , stays in Cafe C' and has hastily  faked   produced a confession in Miss Scarlets own fair hand that he hopes will settle the matter


Secondly Slapping a restraining order on Mr Frobisher for harrassment and lude displays in public.

    There will be no contesting this one if anyone  on the jury  has seen Mavis Boyle Live at Cafe C .

Lastly Issued a stiffly worded Solicitors letter , berating our poor Beasty on the unsanitory state of his bed linen. to whit 'The Stinky Duvet'.
     Bloody cheek!

How dear reader would John Grisham weave together the strands of this ridiculous story and how would he satisfactorily bring us to the climax that we so deserve !


Heres hoping Miss Scarlet is now safe and sound and settled in her home , the whole ghastly business is behind her and she will be back blogging shortly

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Doing Other Stuff for a while.Mail /MSN messenger on beastch@hotmail.co.uk...COME AND SAY HELLO GO ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO