Thursday 31 March 2011

LUNAR LAZINESS

Well ! the flipping bare faced cheek of you all . You can blame the brain warping effect of the Extreme Super Moon if you wish , but the Beast recognised sheer Laziness when he sees it .
Nearly everyone dragged themselves away from scratching their nether regions or picking their noses and sent me their Tin Foil Hat entries.......most of which they had already used for Mr IVD's compo nearly a year ago.
Shame on all of you
There fore I have two winners
The Lovely Princess who entered the sole original entry
Congratulations your royal highnessness and thank you.
The second prize is for honesty and gold plated fur lined ocean going laziness .
Miss Scarlet wins  for mailing me that she couldnt be arsed to make a hat , but could manage a cup of tea.......and even had the brass neck to send me a picture of the cuppa  (Which I lost in a fit of hotmail related sausage fingeredness).
So.....
Congrats to our winners who will both win an exclusive Cafe Jagos Drunk and Gorgeous  Tshirt *.
Please mail size and addresses
*Nothing is ever straight forward , we have to wait for our Cafe C couturier to fix their diamante machine.Oh yes it has diamante.

To the rest of you  . Sloth is one of the seaven deadly sins
and this is a sloth
which is something entirely different.
But your all doomed
So there!

Update . As XL has been un doomed and is not AS lazy as the rest of you . Here is his hat
The rest of you are still doomed

Tuesday 15 March 2011

EXTREME MOONING


Now this is not the one of your colonial blogs and we dont expect to see this sort of thing on Beastbite.
We are discussing this
More specifically the approaching Extreme Super Moon (or Lunar Perigee-syzygy for the more atronomically minded) On the 19th of March the Sun Moon and Earth will be in direct alignment .The moon will be the closest its been to the earth for 19 years at roughly 221,000 miles(for those who use a holy measure) and 356,000 km for the heathen scum .
Some claim this will lead to increased volcanic and earthquake activity during the 'cataclysmic window' which starts this wednesday for a week . Lets hope these moaning minies are wrong .
Miss Scarlet Others claim the additional gravitational pull warp their brains
Just to be on the safe side I think that old favourite The Tin Foil Hat Competition may be in order

There fore boys and girls , anyone who wishes to send me a picture of their tin foil confections will have them published forthwith.
Beastch@hotmail.co.uk.

If you meet anyone in the next week who claims to be able to pick up the BBC Home Service on their anal beads , just smile sweetly  and maintain firmly that you believe radio waves to be the work of the devil .Just put it down to gravitational warping and stress (Or you may have just met IVD)

Anyway we digress  .Stay safe and well my proud young beauties.

Thursday 3 March 2011

GIRLS ARE A BIT THICK

Lets face it , political correctness aside , its true isnt it .
Have you ever seen them trying to use the self service tills at the supermarket . Jeezus a trained chimp would be quicker and less confused.....just saying
And dont get me started on map reading

Meanwhile somewhere in the colonies



:-)

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Doing Other Stuff for a while.Mail /MSN messenger on beastch@hotmail.co.uk...COME AND SAY HELLO GO ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO