Wednesday, 3 December 2008

MANFLU



You know what , having MANFLU when you live on you own is a bore .

One of lifes simple pleasures, when you come down with a minor cold , is to share the joy by making your partner or housemates life a pure living hell.

You have carte blanche to mope about , snorting and whimpering , constantly requesting hot drinks and food in a feeble voice .Refusing to do any chores you don't fancy as 'you dont feel well enough' . Hogging the duvet , the TV remote and generally threatening to expire at any moment if you don't get your own way . You can usually spin this out for about 3 days until its plainly obvious the symptons have gone or your partner cracks and beats you to death with the Dyson .

When you live on your own , you have to do your Lord Nelson deathbed re enactments by phone or email ......it just don't work . They just say things like GO TO BED THEN !

Or OH DEAR WE WILL SEE YOU WHEN YOUR BETTER!!

Or even worse try and upstage you with a list of their own bloody ailments

BASTARDS

***collapses in cloud of VICKS VAPORUB ***

19 comments:

Tickersoid said...

Divine retribution for being in banking.

MJ said...

GO TO BED THEN !

OH DEAR WE WILL SEE YOU WHEN YOUR BETTER!!

Tickersoid said...

*Shakes pitchfork*

BURN HIM!

MJ said...

Try having SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL 5 days a month!

Tickersoid said...

I'll see your manflue and Satanic cramps and raise you IBS with a prolapsed rectum.

MJ said...

But do you get RAGING PMS for days before it?

NO, I didn't THINK so.

scarlet-blue said...

Pah. I have plague all the time. It makes my knees hurt.
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

...plus I have pre/during/post tension. I'm okay for about an hour per month.
Sx

Frobisher said...

I don't know anyone who hasn't had this cold - mine's a week old today! I'm on the Corovonia cough medicine at the mo' - you can't get that stuff with heroin in anymore.

Tickersoid said...

I haven't had it yet. Constitution of an Ox.
Where was I?....Oh yes...

BURN HIM!

BEAST said...

See I just knew you would all take this oppertunity to trot out all your petty ailments
WHEN ITS ME THATS DYING
harumph

***snuggls back under duvet***

BEAST said...

Err ticks that was a typo the B should have been a W

eroswings said...

Eat chicken soup and lots of fruit! Drink plenty of fluids! Get well soon!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Checking thy body will amend thy soul, Beast. Now is the time to repent.

BEAST said...

Mr E , Thanks I will :-)

Mr B , I lead a blameless excistence . My body is a temple

Donn Coppens said...

Trying to outdo the fairer sex in a game of ailment one-upmanship is pure folly, plain and simple!

The only way to re-establish your dominance is to stop whinging and remind them that you don't need to urinate every 35 minutes and that you can do it whilst standing...

and for heaven's sake leave the bloody toilet seat up as a sign that you are marking your territory! It terrifies them!

UBERMOUTH said...

hahahahahahaha!
No wonder you live alone! :P

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL@ Scarlett who is okay one hour a month!

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