Friday, 12 September 2008

WOT I DID ON MY HOLIDAY BY BEAST


A GREAT FECKING PILE OF WASHING UP
A reader asks
Dear Beast ,How much washing up can a 40 seater Cafe/Bistro generate?
The answer dear reader is more washing up than you can shake a stick at
So stop asking stupid questions
Dipshit !

17 comments:

eroswings said...

Have you thought about using eco friendly disposable recycled plates at the Bistro? Or getting an automatic dishwasher?

Perhaps hiring some high schoolers or (illegal) immigrants to do the washing?

Gorilla Bananas said...

Would it be easier if you asked the diners to lick their plates clean like Oliver Twist? Customers might go for the workhouse theme with Mr C in the role of the beadle.

scarlet-blue said...

Hope you wear rubbers . . .

MJ said...

You can borrow my rubber gloves to prevent "dishpan hands".

mutleythedog said...

I have done that job... *sighs*

FirstNations said...

accept nothing rubber from mj. seriously. really.

BEAST said...


Eros : I am the automatic dishwasher ,and I am cheaper than an illegal , just give me a coffee and a bit of cake and I wash and wipe for hours

GB : Thats pretty much the ambience , Mr C make a very convincing Beadle .

Scarlet and MJ . I cut my hand on Tuesday so am wearing 1 rubber glove to protect it . I feel it gives me that Micheal Jackson glamout
***squeaks and grabs crotch***

FN : MJ's cast off big rubber ejaculating dildo thing is ideal for frothing the cream on the desserts

Daisy said...

awww poor beast...i keep telling you, you are just in the wrong kitchen...when will they appreciate the beast you really are?

BEAST said...

Daisy : I am a Beast of burden , but not un appreaciated :-)

Mutley : I missed you first time round . I dont mind doing it , its a bit of honest to goodness hard work , with a visible result at the end of it. It was the cleanst kitchen in Dorset by the time I had finished :-)

Daisy said...

beast...dammit i forgot...thanks for reminding me...now back to work with you!

Leah said...

At home, washing dishes is one of those necessary chores and while I'm doing it no one can ask me to do anything else! Plus I can work on the serialized bodice-ripper that I'm writing in my head.

I wish someone would offer me coffee and cake when I'm done though.

Mu Tai Dong said...

I like to see you naked Mr Beast!

Never Mind The Bollix said...

Boiling your undies in the pot prior to cooking vegetables will only enhance the full flavour of most dishes.

Be sure to carefully remove any discarded or lost kernels of corn before wearing said undies, as corn in your Japs-eye can be irritating if not somewhat dangerous.

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...dammit i forgot...thanks for reminding me...now back to work with you!
I am lazing about today Daisy , Not exactly the chaise longue and peeled grapes , but close enough :-)

BEAST said...

Leah said...
At home, washing dishes is one of those necessary chores and while I'm doing it no one can ask me to do anything else! Plus I can work on the serialized bodice-ripper that I'm writing in my head.
A Bodice Ripper
oh I say
***creak of whalebone****


I wish someone would offer me coffee and cake when I'm done though.
You only get the cake and coffee if you wash up 250 plates 100 cups , 50 glasses , untold cutlery , millions of cups and saucers.....it is never ending

BEAST said...

Mu Tai Dong said...
I like to see you naked Mr Beast!
wearing nothing but my rubber gloves no doubt , you saucy minx

BEAST said...

Never Mind The Bollix said...
Boiling your undies in the pot prior to cooking vegetables will only enhance the full flavour of most dishes.
Is this an old familly recipe Mr Bollix??

Be sure to carefully remove any discarded or lost kernels of corn before wearing said undies, as corn in your Japs-eye can be irritating if not somewhat dangerous.
Sounds Nasty Mr B , altho I am sure some would enjoy it

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