Tuesday, 16 September 2008

IDLE HANDS !

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The Beast regularly scours the interwebs to bring you the latest scientific innovations .
Following in the sticky footsteps of the girls best friend 'The Vacuum Screamer' , we now have one for the boys .
For those of you that are forever busy with your hand held devices, you need no longer break from the important business of pestering your friends with inane texts or scouring the Internet for porn to answer a call of nature .
Ladies and Specifically gentlemen I give you The Hands Free Urinal.
Fully adjustable arm for height and ahem...... size .I particularly like the way it is raising its pinky as if having tea with the vicar , I wonder if it automatically shakes for drips ?

19 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I don't think it would take kindly to any man that urinated on its hands. Those fingers could turn sausage into spaghetti.

CyberPete said...

I wonder if it pulls

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Do they make one in "beard" size? Stephen Neal can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.

Never Mind The Bollix said...

They are gonnae have to build one with bigger hands. This particular model will be ok for the smaller dicks over in Canada.

MJ said...

Do they make one for regular household toilets?

One that knows how to put the seat down?

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
I don't think it would take kindly to any man that urinated on its hands. Those fingers could turn sausage into spaghetti
they probably pick your pockets while they have you at their mercy as well Mr B

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
I wonder if it pulls
There is probably a special setting for that CP

BEAST said...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...
Do they make one in "beard" size? Stephen Neal can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.
Probably not Champ , everything over 12 inches must be lowered by hand .

BEAST said...

Never Mind The Bollix said...
They are gonnae have to build one with bigger hands. This particular model will be ok for the smaller dicks over in Canada.
You just have to send a life size photo of your genitals to Miss MJ and she will make the neccesary adjustments

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Do they make one for regular household toilets?

One that knows how to put the seat down?
Pfffft girls are a bit thick , I can send you instructions if you don't know how to do that yourself Miss MJ
Us lads prefer the seat UP

scarlet-blue said...

Does it come in pink?
Sx

Daisy said...

i think (if i were a man) i would think twice prior to putting my member into the mechanical hands, especially if they shook twice...who knows when the mechanics will go out and the big yank won't be the american in the next stall :)

CyberPete said...

Sounds fabulous.

Maybe one should consider one then

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Does it come in pink?
Miss Scarlet its a boy thing , so I doubt it

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
i think (if i were a man) i would think twice prior to putting my member into the mechanical hands, especially if they shook twice...who knows when the mechanics will go out and the big yank won't be the american in the next stall :)
Ha Ha your right Daisy , It will all end in tears no doubt

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Sounds fabulous.

Maybe one should consider one then

CP I am sure a resourcefull chap like yourself could knock one up out a few old coathangers and stuff

CyberPete said...

That sounds like a contraption that could put an eye out

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
That sounds like a contraption that could put an eye out
Only if your a dwarf or on your knees CP......now what would you be doing on your kness in a public convenience ???? hmmmm ???

eroswings said...

Does it wash it's own hands? I don't want to contact a (social) disease because the machine doesn't clean itself up between handling jobs.

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