Friday, 24 August 2007

CABIN FEVER





With Friends looking at buying land in the sticks and living on it , the Beast is becoming obsessed with trawling the interweb looking at log cabin kits , with ridiculous fantasies of roughing it in the wild , flitting round my brain , its going to be a cross between 'Little Beast on the Prairie and 'Nanuck of the North'.

I have yet to find the dream cabin to satisfy my log lust , so the search goes on.
Bad News tonight Tracey got booted out of Big Brother.
I am gutted.
She may have looked like worzel Gummidge with a hangover , but I am going to miss her :-(
!
!
Now on another topic all together. Genital Warts.
Why are they so unpopular?????.
Hey Girls and boys , ribbed for your pleasure !!!!!
If you want to test drive a set , superglue a handful of rice crispies to your bits.
Go and have a good dangle at your local nudist beach or gym changing rooms
, you never know , You could make a whole new set of friends .

16 comments:

Hammer said...

I would think gluing rice crispies to your johnson would attract habitual snackers...

First Nations said...

1. lowest 'R' values in the housing industry. lovely to look at, a cold damp BITCH to live in. eat energy like lampreys too.(theres a lot of them out this way and they change hands every spring. one winter in a log house will teach you why the pioneers invented insulation.)
2. more like lentils. or turtle beans. get it, 'turtle' beans? you see what i did?? *falls over cracking up like a dork*

Gorilla Bananas said...

Log cabins aren't very portable, though. I suggest you learn kung fu, put on a ruck sack and travel from one hick town to another. There's bound to be one fellow in every pub you can give a good kicking.

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
I would think gluing rice crispies to your johnson would attract habitual snackers...

Mr H , wise words I would have to be particularly carefull at the slimming world class , I could get eaten alive

BEAST said...

First Nations said...
1. lowest 'R' values in the housing industry. lovely to look at, a cold damp BITCH to live in. eat energy like lampreys too.(theres a lot of them out this way and they change hands every spring. one winter in a log house will teach you why the pioneers invented insulation.)
2. more like lentils. or turtle beans. get it, 'turtle' beans? you see what i did?? *falls over cracking up like a dork*


FN I have been looking at scandinavian insulated ones...they are so cool.
Already you are seeing the comedic potential of genital warts..... a laugh a minute I am told

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Log cabins aren't very portable, though. I suggest you learn kung fu, put on a ruck sack and travel from one hick town to another. There's bound to be one fellow in every pub you can give a good kicking.
Mr Bananas , the Beast's sensei would be horrified at you suggestion of pub kickings.
He is a strong advocate of the karate doh
Live Gently , Train Hard
He would go all mystic and kicks Beast's sorry ass If I wandered from the golden path

First Nations said...

beast: dude, post a link to that. the scandinavian log homes, i mean, not the warts. please not the warts.



why am i craving cereal for breakfast?

Newforestandy said...

Wow beast, perhaps you should move from under the pier to the forest? The ideal log cabing could be built high up in an old oak tree, you could always tie a yellow ribbon around its trunk so you can identify ur home tree! We could all come and dance around the base of the tree to keep you awake at night!

Not sure I would want to eat cereal off your dangly bits!

Mental Mac said...

Gorilla has mentioned that log cabins are not portable. Maybe you should start to think about a caravan instead, growing a beard and wearing a nice sensible jumper.

"I'm just here to help"

mutleythedog said...

You could make a very small log cabin and tow it about on a trolley, like a kennel sized one...

I know that dogs like to sniff your genitals anyway Mr B but gluing food to them would make matters even worse, you would not to the slimming thing...

BEAST said...

First Nations said...
beast: dude, post a link to that. the scandinavian log homes, i mean, not the warts. please not the warts.
FN just put scandinavian log cabin in your browser , and you have more sites than you can shake a log at



why am i craving cereal for breakfast

Stay away from the rice crispies ,especially if old knudy has been at them

BEAST said...

Newforestandy said...
Wow beast, perhaps you should move from under the pier to the forest? The ideal log cabing could be built high up in an old oak tree, you could always tie a yellow ribbon around its trunk so you can identify ur home tree! We could all come and dance around the base of the tree to keep you awake at night!

Not sure I would want to eat cereal off your dangly bits!


Mr NFA , the Forest is not isolated enough for the Beasts Lair , I want howling wolves , not moaning lesbians :-) , you leave my cereal coated dangly bits alone , you naughty man

BEAST said...

Mental Mac said...
Gorilla has mentioned that log cabins are not portable. Maybe you should start to think about a caravan instead, growing a beard and wearing a nice sensible jumper.

"I'm just here to help"


Dont you feel a caravan would foster a tortoise like outlook on life ???

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
You could make a very small log cabin and tow it about on a trolley, like a kennel sized one...
Mr M , since The Beast is far from kennel sized , thats not goin to work very well

I know that dogs like to sniff your genitals anyway Mr B but gluing food to them would make matters even worse, you would not to the slimming thing...

We all like a quick sniff now and then , and glueing food to ones lunchbox is a convenient way of carrying one packed lunch

DirtyBitchSociety said...

I must go straight away to find someone willing to glue Krispies to his bits. All in the name of science, of course. I think I'm excited about it.

Chantal said...

This is great info to know.

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