As I mentioned in my last post Ma Beasty's much prized sheperds pie has brought all sorts of sibling rivalries/slights screaming out of the closet.
There is one particular gross miscarraige of justice I just have to air.
My little brother (Beast Minor) has some wierd sleep disorder where the bit of his brain that is supposed to paralyse you when you dream only works intermittently , consequently he actually 'lives' a lot of his dreams , and believe me we dream some pretty wierd shite on occasions.
And guess who had to share a bedroom with the little blighter????
Most nights our bedroom was like something out of the excorcist , I didnt used to get a lot of sleep , poor old Ma and Pa Beasty used to spend most of the night running about calming down screaming children.
On the night in question Beast Minor was very quiet , myself and the Beast Parents where all lapping up the ZZZZZ's for the first time in an age.
At about 3 ocklock in the morning , Beast Minor did the biggest belch you ever heard (it woke me and the parentals up) , sat bolt upright in bed , turned to face my bed and did themost spectacular bit of projectile vomitting , all over me ,then promptly laid back down , and when Ma and Pa Beasty came stumbling in ,
There was a wailing sick besplatterd beast , bed walls everything covered in sick , and an angelic Beast minor slumbering peacefully.
Well to cut a long story short , I got a hidious telling off(having seemingly dragged the poor exhuasted thing from their beds on the one night BM wasnt screaming the house down) followed by a very bad tempered clean up opperation .
All my wailing protestations that it was that swine Beast Minor , only made the lecturing and irritable scrubbing worse. Had Ma and Pa Beasty bothered to look they would have seen a corona of sick splatter up the wall with a perfect beast shape blank spot in the middle , clearly indicating that i was the vomitted upon , not the vomittor.
This injustice has burnt my very soul for the last 35 years , and is brought up regularly at familly xmas's , dinners , birthdays etc etc..... to the usual catawalling , fart noises and jibes of derision .
I swear by all that is holy I fully intend on throwing up on Beast minor before I die !!!!
My question to you , gentle blogging chums , do you have any dreadful childhood miscarraiges of justice that still make you foam at the mouth to even think about them.
ps. Beast major I have not forgotten about action man and the chimney incident....YOUR NEXT