Saturday, 12 May 2007

ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS



Only a week away from my birthday and already the presents have started to arrive.A bit of a 'home made ' theme has been developing.

Jungle Jane has made me this prototype 'Rise and Shine' kipper steamer.A very imaginative use of old household objects and our Jane has obviously tested it , the appetising smell of old kippers and burning rubber that filled my kitchen when I first brought it to the boil are testament to that.Mark my words it going to be a best seller


Mr Mutley and the lovely Mu Tai must have collaborated on these spectacularly soiled underpants.I am guessing the staining was Mu Tais special Chow Mein , if the beefy bouquet and dried up noodles are anything to go by.I will cherish them always.








These very useful items , will certainly get me noticed at the next church picnic.No more bothersome drips and spills for Beastie , thank you Mr New Forest Pony





Mr C and Frobisher have been busy boys in the kitchen , and have made this motivational Goji berry and senna pod cake , the lovely card accompanying the cake expressing the sentiment 'I hope you choke' , brought a tear to my eye






The latest to arrive by special air mail from the states.First Nations has been working her finger to the bone at the sewing machine and has knocked up this 'designer'' outfit for me , 'it fully expresses your personality' she jokingly wrote.
Lucky that I thought I was a complete c*nt !!!





It brings a warm glow to an old Beasts heart to have friends who love and cherish one , on these special occasions.
Sob!

24 comments:

Hammer said...

Lovely. The senna is the gift that keeps on giving.

Hope you enjoy the Gift I sent you.

BEAST said...

Thank you hammer , I am just so blessed

Newforestandy said...

i am glad you enjoyed your presents. I wonder if the candles on the cake are made from miniature sticks of dynamite? hehe

The Hitch said...

not sure of the market for that small penis and balls thingie.
No doubt you have done your market research

First Nations said...

no problem at all. I plan to reuse the pattern for a set of 'Sumas Police' dress uniforms which the city has comissioned! i am on my way to diy fortune!

XOO happy birthday my darling!

Anonymous said...

ATTENTION SEEKING AGAIN!!!

Happy birthday least we have got that out the way till nxt year..


cunttess

jungle jane said...

I do hope you appreciate the kipper steamer, Beastie. Don't let the fact that it's been up my arse put you off - the japanese would pay big money for some of my taint

BEAST said...

NFA who needs dynamite when you have senna pods.
Mr Hitch , your probably right , i shall offer the rights to Allan Sugar.
FN I cant wait to see the female oficers uniforms !
Mr C my birthday isnt till next week sunday, so its not over yet.

JJ it will be straight on ebay then :-)

Newforestandy said...

Will you be holding your usual nekkid party under the pier, sir beast? I havent seen the warning posters up, as yet!

mutleythedog said...

I trust you will be wearing the pants for the big day Mr B.... I shall be around at about 3ish -should I bring a case of Special Brew??

Lippy said...

After so much inspired present giving I am at a complete loss as to know what would be an appropriate gift, I can't compete clearly....but there must be something...

Newforestandy said...

maybe i could suggest a pressie for u to give 'the beast'? He does enjoy a portion of chips or ten!

BEAST said...

Mr NFA I have been evicted from beneath the pier as the are 'upgrading' the area.

Mr Mutley , just the usual crate of meths and a few pot noodle will do.

Lippy just a fond hello is all a beast requires , as you well know Mr NFA chips are a thing of the past as my body is a temple etc etc

Frobisher said...

why are there so many birthdays in May?

BEAST said...

it when the evenings start drawing in Frobisher and the winter tv schedule hasnt started yet , so the only thing to do i late september if fornicate

BEAST said...

i repeat as my typing was completely up the shoot ,
The only thing to do in late september is fornicate......

jungle jane said...

*stabs Beastie's typist*

Pink Drama said...

happy birthday beastie!

just knowing me is present enough for you, right? no? okay, well, i'll blow you a kiss all the way from Mississippi.

mutleythedog said...

Easy is as easy says - meths and mixers it is!!
Sotto voce Lippy isn't coming is she? as she hates me ever since I made the remark about the state of her u-bend...

BEAST said...

JJ great now I have a dead typist to man handle into the recycling bin.......

Pinky , awww thanks , kisses are always best (unless its from the hitch or old knudsen)

Mr Mutley , I am not suprised Miss Lippy is giving you the old fish eye . Criticising a maidens plumbing is beyond the pale.....you Sir are a bounder and a cad ***slaps Mr Mutley with leatherette driving glove***
I demand satisfaction

Lippy said...

OOOhhh boys fighting over me..although I have mutley to thank for my discovery of Mr Muscle , in all his incarnations........* if I had any shame I would blush*

Newforestandy said...

I use mr muscle alot, he is good for making your windows shine.

First Nations said...

newforest; i will be travelling to your side of the lake soon just so i can stand out in front of your house on washaday monday while you clean your windows with your Mr. Muscle.

pink: you'll blow his what? all the way from de Sout'?

Tickersoid said...

I've decided to buy you some furniture.

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