Wednesday, 16 May 2007


Following on from First Nations placenta planting I had a little search on the internet and found this lovely Placenta cocktail recipe (right next to placenta lasagne....I kid you not) , bound to make any cocktail party go with a gag

Placenta Cocktail
Ingredients: 1/4 cup fresh, raw placenta 8oz V-8 juice 2 ice cubes 1/2 cup carrot Method: blend at high speed for 10 seconds. Serve. A tasty thirst quencher!

The poor woman who runs the website plaintiveley pleads

Please refrain from sending me nasty letters about this... if you don't find this to your liking, please just go to another page. Try to keep an open mind...

aww bless.

On another topic my french sister in law (or belle soeur if you want to get all continental about it) put the wind right up my parents , who had been discussing funerals and wills and stuff .My Sis in Law informed them that when they were children and someone had died in the village where they lived ,( in a hot part of mid France) , they used to wait a couple of weeks , then go to the grave yard at dusk , and strike a match over the grave.Apparently the gases seeping off the mouldering cadaver used to ignite in a beautiful mushroom cloud fireball !!!!!.

Ma Beasty has made me swear on the bible that I ensure she is cremated as she doesnt want the wiley continental minx , dragging her foul brood(they are not foul really) down to the local cemetery for grannies last stand .

Look kids

***stricking of match***

***large explosion****

There goes granny!!!!!!.

****picks mandible out of hair , scrapes gunk from dress***

Sounds rather fun to me


Hammer said...

Igniting graves... That sounds like a blast!

jungle jane said...

fucking hell! we both opted for cookery posts tonight! OMG are we possibly the same person??


Newforestandy said...

I think i will stick to the normal cocktails thanks!

As far as the granny fireworks go, I think it might be just as well to be cremated. Mind you it might be similar to burning a beastie on guy fawkes night?

BEAST said...

Hammer thats the worst pun EVER

JJ if we were the same person , I wouldn't be wasting me time on here , I would be at home playing with me lady lumps.

Mr NFA , you would have to catch a Beastie first.... Have you met Miss Jungly Jane she is my evil twin.

Anonymous said...

They serve a version of that Cocktail in the Ropemakes in Bridport - I think you inadvertently consumed a pint last time we were there...

If I think I am dying I shall swallow a small explosive device to ensure more grave based fun for my grieving fans....

Newforestandy said...

Mr B, I am well practised at catching wild animals. As a habitant of the new forest area, I managed to gain a place on a course in Scotland, where they specialise in Haggis hunting and catching. Am sure if I can catch a very elusive Haggis then a Beast will be no problem, especially if i know where his hideout is under Boscombe Pier.

jungle jane said...

Beastie thats kind of weird cos i just spent 3 hours on the train scratching my balls. then sniffing my fingers.

The Hitch said...

Not up for the cocktail and dont believe the mushroom cloud story.
But It is a damn good story.

I recall seeing Mr Hugh fernleigh whittingstall eating human placenta on the television.
Fucking degenerate.

BEAST said...

Mr Mutley, the explosive devices sound a great idea , I am sure your greiving relatives will love it.

JJ you dont have balls , so who's where you scratching , and what did they smell like ?

Mr Hitch ,and its not even alcoholic .I was only relating the grave story as told to me .Mind you I wouldt put anything past the french.

JJ they are mine , stop scratching !!

Anonymous said...

i can see that someone's going to lose their eyebrows with that suggestion.

yep, i can sure see beast's new fave pastime. lighting graves on fire.

jungle jane said...

Beastie there are fleas in your balls. Just thought you should know...

Lippy said...

Oh wicked cool exploding corpse gas!

BEAST said...

Pinky...its a dead cert...he he he

JJ those were biscuit crumbs.

Lippy I doubt the local parish council will see it that way :-)

Lippy said...

Beastie - it's a frog thing, we get it!

First Nations said...




now if you'll pardon me i need to locate a fresh grave AT ONCE.

*dashing about frantically with a box of matches and a wild look about the eyes*

Newforestandy said...

Many happy returns, sir beast, and have sent you a little card to your hotmail account!

Andy & Steve

Tickersoid said...

I may now have a new hobbie.

BEAST said...

FN , its something to do on those long summer evenings when you have finished composting.
NFA thank you very much , It wasnt as rude as I was expecting , I know how 'earthy' you simple forest folk are.

Tickers do you mean you are giving up stealing underwear from washing lines ??

Anonymous said...

...and dressing as a woman?

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