Sunday, 17 August 2008

L'EAU DE FROBISHER


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Feeling somewhat parched from a long walk along the Dorset Cliff path , I stumbled into a cafe with a mouth as dry as Gandhi's flip flop , and demanded instant liquid sustenance.
Imagine my surprise to be presented with 'Frobisher in a bottle' or more accurately , Frobisher's squeezed BUMberries.
Full marks to Mr F for exploiting his hanging haemorrhoid's as a natural resource ripe for the harvest ,
However , the Beast was less than impressed I don't know whether it was the glutinous , blood red liquid that flopped out of the bottle , or the slightly sulphurous odour that put me off :-( . Do you think Frobisher's Gusset Goo would have been a better choice ???

35 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

If we're talking strictly about what's good for your health, Frobisher's urine might be best. Antiseptic with the same alcohol content as shandy, I would guess.

BEAST said...

That particular line must have sold out Mr B , it was bumberries , gusset goo or die of thirst

FirstNations said...

gosh Im so glad i hurried over and read this *suddenly pulls wastebasket closer*

HOLY CRAP BEAST did you HAVE to use the word 'flopped'? did you REALLY?

*slouched over wastebasket waiting*

FirstNations said...

*unable to repress mental image associated with Frobishers 'Sylabub Under the Cow'*

Hammer said...

Bumble berries? I can't imagine drinking a liquid rim job.

Anonymous said...

i bet it tastes very bitter! dorset cliff paths you mean the west cliff lol

Anonymous said...

i bet it tastes very bitter! dorset cliff paths you mean the west cliff lol

MJ said...

Is Frobisher a genie?

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
gosh Im so glad i hurried over and read this *suddenly pulls wastebasket closer*

HOLY CRAP BEAST did you HAVE to use the word 'flopped'? did you REALLY?

*slouched over wastebasket waiting*

*unable to repress mental image associated with Frobishers 'Sylabub Under the Cow'*

Terrible isn't it Miss FN , the purgative properties of Frobishers Bum Berry Juice is fabled on the South Coast so I am told

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
Bumble berries? I can't imagine drinking a liquid rim job.

It wasnt what I was expecting when I requested a juice Mr Hammer

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
i bet it tastes very bitter! dorset cliff paths you mean the west cliff lol

It was rather bitter , have you tried Frobishers juice before Mr C ????

Anonymous said...
i bet it tastes very bitter! dorset cliff paths you mean the west cliff lol

Saying it twice , doesnt make it twice as funny

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Is Frobisher a genie?

More of a Princess Miss MJ

Anonymous said...

I havnt had the good fortune of tasteing frobishers juice! im just getting my head around the lovley tasteing pussy drink!! helloooooooooooooooo FN.xxxx

cafe cunt!! the taste of pussy!

BEAST said...

I thought that smell was the grilled seabass....my mistake

( . )( . ) said...

The question is, did you finish the whole bottle....

BEAST said...

(.)(.)
I passed it off on my companions by doing the old ....try this its REALLY nice
Works everytime

Frobisher said...

All the berries for Frobishers' were squeezed between my ass cheeks - it really is liquid Ambrosia, the food of the gods!

ps - a bit of extra "protein" in the bottom of each bottle.

Anonymous said...

what he realy means! is he took it home to rim the top of the bottle... mmmm! you taste so good frobisher!!

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
All the berries for Frobishers' were squeezed between my ass cheeks - it really is liquid Ambrosia, the food of the gods!

ps - a bit of extra "protein" in the bottom of each bottle.
everyone loves a good old fashioned home made recipe , another delight from Frobishers Country Kitchen

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
what he realy means! is he took it home to rim the top of the bottle... mmmm! you taste so good frobisher!!

See Mr F , a fan has emerged already

eroswings said...

Holy Crap! If that much liquid is coming from his end, then forget the Preparation H! Get surgical intervention!

Beast, I fear you may have only delayed death slightly...dying of thirst would've much more pleasant.

eroswings said...

Oops! Meant to say "would've been much more pleasant", but the thought of how they squeezed out the juice from these berries made me lose my train of thought...and quite possibly, my appetite.

CyberPete said...

Wow Frobi is our own Paris Hilton. Putting his name to all sorts of atrocious products. Good for him. And he didn't even have to do a bad porn movie to kickstart it.

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Holy Crap! If that much liquid is coming from his end, then forget the Preparation H! Get surgical intervention!

Beast, I fear you may have only delayed death slightly...dying of thirst would've much more pleasant.

Oops! Meant to say "would've been much more pleasant", but the thought of how they squeezed out the juice from these berries made me lose my train of thought...and quite possibly, my appetite.
I think Mr Frobisher has a secret haemariod farm going , flits around every morning and evening for 'milking' duties
I am making meself feel ill now

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Wow Frobi is our own Paris Hilton. Putting his name to all sorts of atrocious products. Good for him. And he didn't even have to do a bad porn movie to kickstart it.

I have promised not to mention 'Frobisher's Big Surprise'

Daisy said...

this actually just cracked me up this morning and i needed a bit of uplifting...thanks beast ;)

MJ said...

Daisy's bra has failed her.

BEAST said...

Daisy ....eeek sounds nasty , glad the Beast could be of service.

Miss MJ .
Beast is a safe (and warm) pair of hands

Daisy said...

*thanks beast for the support and for that support being warm...grins to MJ that na na boo boo grin because daisy has hands on her breast and MJ doesn't*

Anonymous said...

wind chimes any one!

FirstNations said...

I've just ordered a caselot. mr. frobisher may be *ahem* incapacitated for some time. *trots off to light candles in bathroom and put on mantovani cd*

cafe C: where the elite meet to eat! *peruses menu and is sad to note the absence of the Chef on the menu...XX!)

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
*thanks beast for the support and for that support being warm...grins to MJ that na na boo boo grin because daisy has hands on her breast and MJ doesn't*

Can I let go now , my arms are acheing :-)

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
wind chimes any one!

Go Away you silly old hippy

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
I've just ordered a caselot. mr. frobisher may be *ahem* incapacitated for some time. *trots off to light candles in bathroom and put on mantovani cd*
Yuk , Frobisher will be squeezin and groaning for a while then . Who can better the mellow strings of Mantovani

cafe C: where the elite meet to eat! *peruses menu and is sad to note the absence of the Chef on the menu...XX!)
The cheaper cuts are on special offer at the local supermarket , the scragend is particularly good value :-)

Daisy said...

of course beast...it was just the initial grab that did it for me in the first place...lol

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