The Beast has found his Niche in life.Cannon Fodder.
Let me explain . For those of you who have never worked in a commercial kitchen , it is a high pressure environment , when service kicks off its two hours of pandemonium presided over by 'The Talent' .
The Talent's every whim is serviced by The Minions.
Now Cafe C is a small establishment so is a microcosm of a larger kitchen.When The Beast is summoned to do a shift , I am under no allusions that Mr C and his assistant chef are The Talent and the Minor Talent and I am The Minions.
Now at least twice during a busy service The Talent feel the need to have a Great Big Pressure Relieving Diva Tantrum.
The natural conclusion of a GBPRDT is someone has to be thrown out of the kitchen . In a larger establishment ,of course you have a choice of hapless minions to take the bullet for the greater good , (its obviously bad practice to give the minor talent the red card in the middle of service) , therefore in Cafe C , the fickle finger of fate is pointing squarely at the Beast.
Its always the Beast that has to take the walk of shame and don the proverbial dunces cap.'BEAST YOUR DOING MY HEAD IN GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN'
***Beast heaves a sigh and totters off***
***waits ten minutes***
***Totters back , carries on with washing up and waits for the next time*** .
Of course If I completely misunderstood my role , I could get on my high horse , bluster away pointlessly proclaiming my obvious innocence and cause a kitchen meltdown , but I accept my fate of staggering out , with the accumulated weight of the sins committed against The Talent's insistence for efficiency , style and perfection and provide closure.
As the Catholic Church discovered centuries ago , when the going gets tough , publically persocuting the innocent puts a smile on everyones face.Thank the lord Public Boiling has been outlawed or tomorrows soup of the day could have been Beast Broth.
On another note, Miss MJ's Knit Yourself a Girlfriend challenge has gone horribly wrong ! Do you think it will shrink if I boil wash it ???
35 comments:
Good Idea Mr B , I shall mention it to Mr C when his is in a more relaxed mood
I'm booking my flight now to attend the "Beast Taking it Like a Fag at Eton" event.
What's for pudding?
On another note, if you boil wash your knitted girlfriend, her bits will be resized to better fit YOUR bits.
mj has some bits posted today that when boiled would feed the masses....
INNER VOICES said...
mj has some bits posted today that when boiled would feed the masses....
I certainly wont be eating liver for a while
Whereas I just won't be eating. Anything.
Poor Beast putting up with Mr C's rantings. Still, at least you know your place. Just think, without you, how would all those little, mundane, necessary things get done?
Inexplicable DeVice said...
Whereas I just won't be eating. Anything.
Poor Beast putting up with Mr C's rantings. Still, at least you know your place. Just think, without you, how would all those little, mundane, necessary things get done?
There are plenty of willing eastern europeans Mr I :-)
I think I liked it better here when you couldn't comment.
*recoils from plate of spotted dick*
hey mj, that anon poster sure likes to use very tall letters!
MJ said...
I think I liked it better here when you couldn't comment.
*recoils from plate of spotted dick*
How dare you I imported IVD's celebrated 'spotted dick' at enormous cost , for you delectation and delight
INNER VOICES said...
hey mj, that anon poster sure likes to use very tall letters!
Mr I allow me to introduce anon , it is non other than restauranteur and runner up for Dorset Dogger of the Year
Mr C
****ragged cheer from assorted yokels***
aww beastie...you can come to my kitchen and have your way with it...i won't complain...i promise ;)
Why didn't Mr C win first place in the dogging competition?
Like Daisy said, you can come to my kitchen anytime too.
But you'll have to wear this frilly pinny.
Thankfully, Mr. C has accustomed you to taking orders.
Daisy said...
aww beastie...you can come to my kitchen and have your way with it...i won't complain...i promise ;)
Go on Daisy throw me out. You will feel much better :-)
MJ said...
Why didn't Mr C win first place in the dogging competition?
Lack of technical ability or artistic content....who knows Miss MJ
Like Daisy said, you can come to my kitchen anytime too.
But you'll have to wear this frilly pinny.
Thankfully, Mr. C has accustomed you to taking orders.
Actually the Beast is not good at taking orders , I rather just get on with what has to be done . I leave the dramatics to others
never beast...and i even enjoy cleaning up after...so you can truly have your way in my kitchen
I really like the cut of GB's jib there. hell yes, grab a chalk and a birch and lets play 'Beasts public school daze' at Cafe C!!!! *fanning self briskly with hankie*
...ps Mr C I am WARM for your FORM me+C!!!!!
Well, at least they don't throw kitchen utensils at you...
Perhaps your doctor can give you some Xanax to slip into Talent's drink...or on those annoying customers' food.
Daisy said...
never beast...and i even enjoy cleaning up after...so you can truly have your way in my kitchen
Daisy ! You minx
FirstNations said...
I really like the cut of GB's jib there. hell yes, grab a chalk and a birch and lets play 'Beasts public school daze' at Cafe C!!!! *fanning self briskly with hankie*
but I didnt go to public school
FirstNations said...
...ps Mr C I am WARM for your FORM me+C!!!!!
WARM for your FORM indeed
eroswings said...
Well, at least they don't throw kitchen utensils at you...
I have a habt of throwing back
Perhaps your doctor can give you some Xanax to slip into Talent's drink...or on those annoying customers' food.
You need that tension to keep things on track Mr E , if you doped the talent it could all go horribly wrong
:)
*polishes the odd glass*
*chats to good looking customers*
*frets about what CD to play next*
*pops out again for a ciggy and a laugh with one of the waitresses*
Frobisher said...
*polishes the odd glass*
*chats to good looking customers*
*frets about what CD to play next*
*pops out again for a ciggy and a laugh with one of the waitresses*
Its a charmed life you lead Mr F
That line of work is not for sissies! I learned that on my first and only night of dishwashing duty being the only one doing dishes for a local hotel.
I could never do that, ever again!
CyberPete said...
That line of work is not for sissies! I learned that on my first and only night of dishwashing duty being the only one doing dishes for a local hotel.
I could never do that, ever again!
Imagines Cyberpoof in his pinny and pink fur trimmed rubber gloves
I am SOOOOOOOO glad you get to do the washing up, I always thought you were a right scrubber! Are you learning how to cook microwave meals whilst doing your shift?
Newforestandy said...
I am SOOOOOOOO glad you get to do the washing up, I always thought you were a right scrubber! Are you learning how to cook microwave meals whilst doing your shift?
Good heavens , Its the woad besplattered Mr New Forest Mandy , crept from the forest to communicate with us town folk . I am a very good scrubber Mr NFA and I am still not allowed near the food for obvious reasons
Does that thought excite you?
if only!
I was not given gloves. It was disgusting and I have a touching other peoples leftover food phobia
CyberPete said...
Does that thought excite you?
if only!
I was not given gloves. It was disgusting and I have a touching other peoples leftover food phobia
I dont find rubber gloves and pinnies very exciting I must admit.But I am sure you look very cute in them :-)
Are you flirting with CyberPoof?
MJ said...
Are you flirting with CyberPoof?
Is that what passes for flirting in Canada Miss MJ??
My brother loves cooking, so much that in high school he gave serious consideration to our local community college's hotel-sponsored cooking program.
But a subsequent summer break job as a short-order cook at the Hyatt -- a.k.a. Hell's -- kitchen, turned him forever on his much more profitable and less murder-inspiring occupation as a multi-certified mechanic.
Seriously, he was thisclose to shoving a particularly screechy 5-foot waiter's face in a boiling lobster pot.
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