Thursday, 14 August 2008

EXCITED



This is a picture of the lovely Boscombe Beach , site of the first artificial surfing reef in the Northern hemisphere , due for completion just in time for the Beast's two week vacation in September.







They construct the reef from 100 ft sandbags 245 metres off shore . So far it has cost 3m quid and taken about 12 years of committee meetings , but at last its is nearly ready . I am sure that come the first winter storm , the reef will end up in Boscombe High street :-)

















Bournemouth council are hoping this will bring a veneer of surfer glamour to Boscombe , one of Bournemouths more run down and chavy suburbs .

Winner of this years 'Miss Bountifull Boscombe' crown , Ms Caress Scrubb is hoping it will lead to a 'Baywatch' style boost to her burgeoning career as an airship errrm plus size model




One can imagine it will lead to a proliferation of all manner of exciting outdoor sports.


Beast will be squeezing into a shorty wetty and spending my two weeks paddling about in the rolling surf , fighting off impertinent advances from the Japanese Whaling fleet and nimbly avoiding molestation by the hordes of killer jellyfish the tabloids insist are massing off the beaches.

33 comments:

INNER VOICES said...

say it ain't so beast, say it ain't so... a surfer?!?!


*walks away shaking head and sobbing uncontrollably*

BEAST said...

Well not a very good one , but I love messin about in the waves and its only 15 minutes from my house :-)

CyberPete said...

Be careful. They might end up having Pamela Anderson dismantling a nuclear bomb on your beach.

Run for your life!

Mu Tai Dong said...

I am coommiinngg MR BEAST!! You need me like a sex machine needs some willing fleshes!! I love the surfer gyes! You the giant cock man??

INNER VOICES said...

wow, the mu tai blogger seems to be everywhere today...

*wonders wtf its saying*


yeah, lots of people who live here love/are addicted to it as well... good on you man for having a hobby/sport!!! personally dressing up like a sea lion, then paddling out into the waves and thrashing about like im injured and need to be eaten isnt my cup-o-tea. but who asked me right?

Gorilla Bananas said...

When you tire of these water sports come to the African jungle, Beast. My females will show you how to shake your arse to the natural rhythms of Nature.

MJ said...

Did I give you permission for two weeks off in September?

I don't THINK so!

Carnalis said...

i came too early ...

am on neighbouring beach this week, with sand storms etc. although today, for about 5 minutes, there was rideable surf (thanks to the ferry). I had fun.

FirstNations said...

Surfing

England

surfing...in england


nope.

mark my words...god will find a way to strike down this manifestation of human impertinence, this unnatural deviation from the natural order, this 'reef of babel', if you will.

oh yes.

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Be careful. They might end up having Pamela Anderson dismantling a nuclear bomb on your beach.

Run for your life!

That would be rather exciting , altho its more likely to be the more down market Cheeky Girls

BEAST said...

Mu Tai Dong said...
I am coommiinngg MR BEAST!! You need me like a sex machine needs some willing fleshes!! I love the surfer gyes! You the giant cock man??

Miss Mu , you can strip my wetsuit off with your teeth
while I dust sand from your crevices , good to see you back you sexy minx :-)

BEAST said...

INNER VOICES said...
wow, the mu tai blogger seems to be everywhere today...

*wonders wtf its saying*

Introductions... Mr I . Miss Mu is the owner and chef of Bridports finest(only) Chinese fusion Take Away.She is Chinese , over sexed and barking mad

yeah, lots of people who live here love/are addicted to it as well... good on you man for having a hobby/sport!!! personally dressing up like a sea lion, then paddling out into the waves and thrashing about like im injured and need to be eaten isnt my cup-o-tea. but who asked me right?

I was brought up on the beach , and have a great love of all things sea related , I am never happier than when frollicking in the surf

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
When you tire of these water sports come to the African jungle, Beast. My females will show you how to shake your arse to the natural rhythms of Nature.

One never tires of water sports Mr B . I am bound to be a dissapiontment to the troupe , as I have no natural rythm whatso ever

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Did I give you permission for two weeks off in September?

I don't THINK so!

What you have to ask yourself Miss MJ is would The Beast seek permission from anyone ?
I DONT'T THINK SO :-)

BEAST said...

Carnalis said...
i came too early ...
Ahem , well it could happen to anyone ***SNORK**
am on neighbouring beach this week, with sand storms etc. although today, for about 5 minutes, there was rideable surf (thanks to the ferry). I had fun.
Well at least your on the beach ....while I am stuck in the office ...harumph

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
Surfing
Yes

England
right Again

surfing...in england

Oh Lord this is like pulling teeth
YES


nope.

Fraid So

mark my words...god will find a way to strike down this manifestation of human impertinence, this unnatural deviation from the natural order, this 'reef of babel', if you will.

oh yes.
Agreed , wait for the first winter storm and the 3 million squid artificial reef will be ripped up by the tempest and end up demolishing half of Boscombe High street.....its got disater written all over it

Frobisher said...

It not a well known fact that I was a leading light in Boscombe Regeneration Scheme, it was me who fought for a bench outside McDonalds for the smack heads awaiting their dealers, unfortunately I had to pack it all in when made Treasurer of the BomoCreatives (conflict of interest). Will MrC still be able to let his dogs shit on the beach?

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
It not a well known fact that I was a leading light in Boscombe Regeneration Scheme, it was me who fought for a bench outside McDonalds for the smack heads awaiting their dealers, unfortunately I had to pack it all in when made Treasurer of the BomoCreatives (conflict of interest). Will MrC still be able to let his dogs shit on the beach?

Your such a social campaigner Mr Frobisher . The Emily Pankhurst of Boscombe.
I havnt seen site nor sound of Mr C.As he is now an international captain of industry , I am sure he has an east european minion to capture the dog waste in a linen napkin and wipe little lloyds backside

Leah said...

Lovely, just lovely.

How's the no cigs going? Or shouldn't I mention it? I'll never mention it again. But this morning I wandered blearily outside with my hot coffee, feeling around in my pocket for my pack and lighter. Motherfucker, they weren't there anymore. I forgot that I fucking quit. And that's all I have to say about that.

CyberPete said...

"That would be rather exciting , altho its more likely to be the more down market Cheeky Girls"

Now that's a sickening thought.

Lippy said...

I think you will look very cool Beast....when you've cracked it!

BEAST said...

Leah said...
Lovely, just lovely.

How's the no cigs going? Or shouldn't I mention it? I'll never mention it again. But this morning I wandered blearily outside with my hot coffee, feeling around in my pocket for my pack and lighter. Motherfucker, they weren't there anymore. I forgot that I fucking quit. And that's all I have to say about that.
Thats a bugger Leah .The no cigs is going ok so far , but you never know when you get bitten in th arse by an unxpected urge

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
"That would be rather exciting , altho its more likely to be the more down market Cheeky Girls"

Now that's a sickening thought.
Bless em

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
I think you will look very cool Beast....when you've cracked it!

Oh dear , that could take some time :-(

Daisy said...

i lived in florida for a while and used to surf...there is nothing wrong with that...probably still would if i lived anywhere that i could surf...mj is just jealous!

eroswings said...

Don't forget your sunscreen! And your harpoon to fend off the whalers and jellyfish and other tourists!

Liz said...

We have real waves in Gower.You should come to gower. WE could play in the water together.

Anonymous said...

OH please, bobing around in the water you need a board first dear and some arm bands! more like hanging around under the pier! asking people do you come here often!!!

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
i lived in florida for a while and used to surf...there is nothing wrong with that...probably still would if i lived anywhere that i could surf...mj is just jealous!

I just love being in the water ESPECIALLY if there are waves , you can body board or propper surf its great

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Don't forget your sunscreen! And your harpoon to fend off the whalers and jellyfish and other tourists!

The site of the Beast in a wetsuit usually keeps most away (except the Japanese Whaling fleet ) and amourous jellyfish

BEAST said...

Liz said...
We have real waves in Gower.You should come to gower. WE could play in the water together.
But the water is FREEZING in Wales

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
OH please, bobing around in the water you need a board first dear and some arm bands! more like hanging around under the pier! asking people do you come here often!!!
You only need a body board to satart with , its just as much fun , there will be no time for hanging around under the pier

Anonymous said...

booogie board !!

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