Thursday, 22 May 2008


I am not one to complain.......much...... but W T F did I get for my birthday A frigging great dose of MANFLU.
Gee Thanks , two days of honking me guts up , the sore throat from hell and a splitting headache.
Welcome to your 48th year Beastie

Then just to put the icing on the fecking birthday cake , I dragged meself from me sick bed and signed into messenger to be greeted by a big old howling tantrum from Mr C .
What heinous crime did the Beast commit you may ask , did I flash me knob at Mr C's maiden aunt ???? took a dump in his shoe ????
wiped my arse on his curtains ????
No I signed a form wrong..... Harumph


Gorilla Bananas said...

It's the law of the jungle. You always get kicked when you're down. Kick back hard...and don't sign someone else's name next time.

Anonymous said...

you sighned every fucking box then counter sighned underneath in the box for me to sighn also posted them to me a day late... you only have your self to blame NANNY.. im running a tight ship here.. not fucking butlins......

MJ said...

I STILL have Satanic cramps from hell!

Try feeling like someone is ripping your uterus out for 24 hours a day, 5 days a month and see how YOU like it!


Man flu. Pffffffffttttttttttt.

BEAST said...

Mr Bananas . It wasnt so much the wrong name , but the wrong place . I got confused :-(

Mr C . Awwwshudup. I signed and put me title shoot me. Oooops you already did.and I posted them the same day you sent them to me.No need for a big Naomi Campbell styleee hissy fit...honestly.

Miss MJ . are uterus's a canadian thing ??? I have had a look and I dont think I have one.
Now I shall return to my bed of pain , and wilt decorously for a bit

MJ said...


You can have MINE!

*flings lady bits at Beast*

Leah said...

Sorry, that certainly stinks. I had Ladyflu on Mother's Day. What's the difference? Is Manflu supposed to be whinier and groanier? Well, I certainly whined and groaned enough to qualify for the Manflu moniker.

Drink bubbly iced drinks through a straw--at least that helped me--and feel better soon, Beast--

FirstNations said...

how can anyone be expected to fill out complicated forms when they have the DREADED MANFLU?

*tosses bottle rockets in through letterbox, runs*

mj did it! mj did it!

MJ said...

*flung uterus catches on fire as bottle rockets are tossed through letter box by NATIONS, not me*


BEAST said...

Miss MJ as you can imagine , ladies are always flinging there parts at popularity is a curse.

Leah. MANFLU is much worse . You girls have no idea how we men suffer.

Miss FN, I dont know whats been going on, but that take out kebab Miss MJ delivered was a bit chewy and tasted of fish

MJ said...

I'll have you know fish kebab was not past it's sell-by date.

Note its springiness without leaving an indentation, its firmness to the touch, and its non-slimy surface.

BEAST said...

Miss MJ , it tasted like an old uterus to me :-)

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you have those man AIDS everyones talking about these days?

BEAST said...

Mr Mutley, that has something to do with 'safe socks'.
I am ALWAYS keep my socks on.

MJ said...

You always keep your socks on?

Have you learned nothing from my posts?

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Beast, you old sot! I've crawled out from the slums of Madchester to wish you a bandit day.

I've received word that Mr. Witsie ran into trouble in southern Africa, and am in the process of cashing in some of my chest-hairs to fund a rescue mission.

BEAST said...

Well Feck me Stiff its the champ , Given us a sign to gird the lions of the faithfull.
A rescue mission is it !
We are trained and ready to mount a crudase to save Mr Witsie from the horrors of overseas plumbing and other indignities that may afflict a gentleman of letters.

BEAST said...

errr *crusade
I had a typing malfunction

The Old Tarf said...

Hey, sorry that you were under the weather for your Birthday.

Hey, we never get any respect from the ladies or sympathy. Manflu is one of the worse things to get, apart from Naggingitis.

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