Tuesday, 16 October 2007

STUFFING THE FRENCH /NIGELLAS BEAUTIES



I dont want to gloat too much (well I do actually) .We stuffed the french in the Rugby World Cup..........Hurrah.
For our American chums Rugby is a bit like your American football , well a small bit , the difference being the same people stay on the pitch for the whole game and dont wear girly padding , and theres no advert breaks.
Oh and did I mention WE STUFFED THE FRENCH........and they cried , he he he




Now Nigella was up to her usual tricks last night. She was making chicken pot pies . After much foreplay with a frying pan we were approaching an all butter puff pastry climax . Nigella pnuematically heaved her magnificent bosom , licked her lips and breathed orgasmically at the camera 'Now lets crown these beauties'.

Poor Beast nearly choked on his vegetarian sausage dinner.! ! !
Hurrah for gastro porn.
Now the Beasts dream showdown would be Nigella gastronomically sticking it to the French , because as well as being misguided about their rugby prowess , they also arrogantly claim to be the best chefs in the world - Ha!!! Chitterlings and braised bollocks anyone ????

23 comments:

Frobisher said...

Of course Nigella clashes with Coronation St - so she simply isn't in the running.

Well we didn't exactly stuff the French - they were the better players in the first half, and the English only won the game in the last half hour. Still, it's always warming to think of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys getting their come-uppance.

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Of course Nigella clashes with Coronation St - so she simply isn't in the running.

Well we didn't exactly stuff the French - they were the better players in the first half, and the English only won the game in the last half hour. Still, it's always warming to think of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys getting their come-uppance.


Mr F a win is a win is a stuffing in the Beast's book ....

Lippy said...

I still liked the mad Rasputin looking Frenchman...he features in my dreams rather more than Nigella I have to say.

Tried her post marinaded steak last night and it was rubbish. and my chicken pie is nicer than that! But her brownie recipie from How to be A Domestic Goddess - Rules!

*Lippys bosom heaves theatrically as she types!*

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
I still liked the mad Rasputin looking Frenchman...he features in my dreams rather more than Nigella I have to say.

Tried her post marinaded steak last night and it was rubbish. and my chicken pie is nicer than that! But her brownie recipie from How to be A Domestic Goddess - Rules!

*Lippys bosom heaves theatrically as she types!*


stop that you will have someones eye out

Rimshot said...

http://wesclark.com/rrr/pads_and_helmets.html

"In rugby, the only collision (i.e., running at speed for the purpose of forcing a player to the ground) is when one has the ball. The other 29 lads on the pitch are there for support. In American football, 21 of the 22 players had better be colliding with someone on every down - at full speed. In gridiron, there is collision while blocking. In rugby, the equivalent is called "obstruction" and is illegal, thus there are far more opportunities - requirements - for player collision in American football."

"In rugby, the object is to bring the player to the ground in order to force a turnover. In gridiron, on the other hand, the purpose of tackling is to not yield a single millimeter of turf to the opposition advance."

"In gridiron, the tackler prefers a head-on collision, the hard plastic helmet connecting to the opponent's chest; a wrap up around the waist or lower subsequently follows, and then a drive backwards as far as the tackler can go. The ground is the forceful end of a preferably very long trip on an American tackle. Without a helmet, an American football player would not likely live or walk for very long in such a contest. In rugby, a tackler may not grab around the shoulders and neck (at least when the ref is looking). In gridiron, virtually any means of bringing the ball carrier to the ground is legal, so long as the facemask isn't grabbed. This broad interpretation of the tackling rule sets gridiron far apart from its rugby counterpart, and greatly changes the amount of violence with which the objective may be carried out."

"In gridiron, a ball-carrier must absorb all these things, plus the impact of a hard, plastic helmet and shoulder pads behind the force of a tackler whose mass is often greater than his rugby counterpart. By the way, there is little protection for most American football players between the sternum and the groin, which happens to comprise the precise target area of a gridiron tackler. Also, the pads are not the soft rubber found in rugby equipment. They are hard, reinforced plastic designed for the purpose of diffusing energy. Wearing gridiron pads gives one a visceral sense of invulnerability that cannot be truly replicated in rugby. Thus, the force used in gridiron tackling tends to be less restrained by the fear of injury, conscious or otherwise. There are plenty of fearless rugby tacklers, but they will rarely throw their careers (and possibly lives) away by running face-first into a head-on collision with a sprinting ball-carrier."

etc.

BEAST said...

Rimshot said...
http://wesclark.com/rrr/pads_and_helmets.html

"In rugby, the only collision (i.e., running at speed for the purpose of forcing a player to the ground) is when one has the ball. The other 29 lads on the pitch are there for support. In American football, 21 of the 22 players had better be colliding with someone on every down - at full speed. In gridiron, there is collision while blocking. In rugby, the equivalent is called "obstruction" and is illegal, thus there are far more opportunities - requirements - for player collision in American football."

"In rugby, the object is to bring the player to the ground in order to force a turnover. In gridiron, on the other hand, the purpose of tackling is to not yield a single millimeter of turf to the opposition advance."

"In gridiron, the tackler prefers a head-on collision, the hard plastic helmet connecting to the opponent's chest; a wrap up around the waist or lower subsequently follows, and then a drive backwards as far as the tackler can go. The ground is the forceful end of a preferably very long trip on an American tackle. Without a helmet, an American football player would not likely live or walk for very long in such a contest. In rugby, a tackler may not grab around the shoulders and neck (at least when the ref is looking). In gridiron, virtually any means of bringing the ball carrier to the ground is legal, so long as the facemask isn't grabbed. This broad interpretation of the tackling rule sets gridiron far apart from its rugby counterpart, and greatly changes the amount of violence with which the objective may be carried out."

"In gridiron, a ball-carrier must absorb all these things, plus the impact of a hard, plastic helmet and shoulder pads behind the force of a tackler whose mass is often greater than his rugby counterpart. By the way, there is little protection for most American football players between the sternum and the groin, which happens to comprise the precise target area of a gridiron tackler. Also, the pads are not the soft rubber found in rugby equipment. They are hard, reinforced plastic designed for the purpose of diffusing energy. Wearing gridiron pads gives one a visceral sense of invulnerability that cannot be truly replicated in rugby. Thus, the force used in gridiron tackling tends to be less restrained by the fear of injury, conscious or otherwise. There are plenty of fearless rugby tacklers, but they will rarely throw their careers (and possibly lives) away by running face-first into a head-on collision with a sprinting ball-carrier."

etc.


Whatever!
Pfffft , next you will be telling me Baseball isnt really the same as english girls game rounders !!!!

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Hmmm. Bollocks.

Hello Beast!

Frobisher said...

Hello Piggy & Tazzy! are you lost?

Piggy and Tazzy said...

No.

We just popped in for a feel of Beast's bollocks.

Not many of them to the pound, are there?

BEAST said...

Piggy and Tazzy said...
Hmmm. Bollocks.

Hello Beast!



Hello Piggy and Tazzy

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Hello Piggy & Tazzy! are you lost?

a lost cause :-)

BEAST said...

Piggy and Tazzy said...
No.

We just popped in for a feel of Beast's bollocks.

Not many of them to the pound, are there?

Thats my haemariods your squeezin....dumbass

mutleythedog said...

Do yo we think we could start a petition for Nigella to 'perform' topless Mr Beast?

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Do yo we think we could start a petition for Nigella to 'perform' topless Mr Beast?

I dont think that is a good idea Mr M , she might catch her tits in the food mixer , remember.....'Loose Tits Cost Lives'

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Dumbass? You cheeky cunt, I have a sensual ass.

So Tazzy tells me.

First Nations said...

which side, piggy? the side with the tattoo? or the side with the...'mole'?

*snerk*


*runs*

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Both sides, FN.

And especially so around the starfish rim (that sounds very Star-Trekky for some reason - "Warp factor 9, Mr Sulu. Take us boldly to where no man has gone before - the Starfish Rim").

Anyway (fave word)...

It's even more sensual inside where it's warm and hugging (unlike Frobi's, which is cold and like a butchers empty walk-in deep freezer).

IDV told me so. And I believe him.

BEAST said...

WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE ????????
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA

***** has fag break****

HA HA HA HA HA
etc

BEAST said...

WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE ????????
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA

***** has fag break****

HA HA HA HA HA
etc

Piggy and Tazzy said...

*wallop*

BEAST said...

First Nations said...
which side, piggy? the side with the tattoo? or the side with the...'mole'?

*snerk*


*runs*

FN I dont think thats a mole....its a klingon
PIGGY HASNT WIPED PROPERLY
****dances****
PIGGY HASNT WIPED PROPERLY

Frobisher said...

My "freckle" is the same as when I was 6 years old! - obviously why I'm sooo popular.

Unlike Piggy's cavernous hole - which can be seen on Google maps!

Piggy and Tazzy said...

I think you'll find thats SID, Frobi.

Possibly MJ too.

I won't include Beasts, that would be terribly impolite - even if factual.

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