Tuesday, 30 October 2007

THE KING OF VEGETABLES



The best thing about this time of year , is the majestic sprout.

A versatile and tasty vegetable . Boil for 10 minutes and serve with a knob of butter and ground black pepper.....fantastic. Gone are the days when grandma Beasty would put the sprouts on to boil the day after halloween ready for xmas dinner , and produce a vile soggy kharki mush.They dont agree with everyones digestion and can produce voluminous amounts of cabbagey wind that cause hours of christmas afternoon fun as Granny farts the National Anthem during the traditional queens speech.

For safety sake always ensure you chew your sprouts well , and never on any account swallow them whole, as shattering great Aunt Bessies dentures with an unfortunate half digested , bottom burp driven , sprout projectile never goes down well

Sprouts have many other uses.

1.Thread on a string and have hours of family fun with a game of 'Sprouts' (just like conkers but with sprouts)

2.Super glue small sprouts around your anus and frighten people when you bend over in the showers at the gym with your comedy supturating haemaroids.

3.Jungle Jane tells me they they make excellent anal beads and double as healthy snack on those long commutes to work.

4.Orgasmic(err sorry organic) Love Eggs.....nuff said

5. Eco friendly jewellry - attractive and fragrant....yum yum

6.Keep an overcooked sprout in your hanky and amuse all you friends by pretending to sneeze and showing them your hanky contents....how we laughed.

These are just a few uses for the fun filled sprout .Please detail your sprout related shenanigans below.

29 comments:

Frobisher said...

I LOVE sprouts, have you noticed how expensive they are these days?

Grate a little nutmeg on them - fab.

mutleythedog said...

I have loads growing on the lottie... I can arrange some free samples

Daisy said...

actually for a bit of fun...with guest coming over...feed some to your dogs...they have no problem letting lose in front of guests...it's this time of year i like to invite people i don't like from work over to share in the glory of my 3 pets...:) (btw they are all lap dogs) makes it even more interesting :)

FirstNations said...

quartered with bechamel or per frobi-delish! try lemonpepper and butter.


know anyone who wears a false eye? by dead of night, replace that ersatz orb with one of these green meanies and let the laughs begin!! breakfast will never be the same!!

Hammer said...

Frozen ones are good slingshot ammo.

MJ said...

Combine brussel sprouts with cauliflower, cabbage and broccoli.

Wash down with a pint of Guinness.

Fartastic festivities.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Some foolish people dip them in snake bile and pretend they are testicles. Of course they are delicious. Salt, pepper and butter are all you need.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Ooooh! Sprouts!

I love sprouts!

Easily my fave veg (apart from Tazzy).

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

What it is!

Here's to all of my British pals who pronounce "th" as "f"

Daisy said...

stephen how can you not know what brussel sprouts are? every family i know had them for dinner in the states...come on now...

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
I LOVE sprouts, have you noticed how expensive they are these days?

Grate a little nutmeg on them - fab.

I too love a good sprout Mr F , I will not be swayed by your continental waywardness however...nutmeg pffft

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
I have loads growing on the lottie... I can arrange some free samples

Mr M , growing your own sprouts it is said makes you closer to god (ok I made that up) , just think of all the sprout related xmas presents you can make ?

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
actually for a bit of fun...with guest coming over...feed some to your dogs...they have no problem letting lose in front of guests...it's this time of year i like to invite people i don't like from work over to share in the glory of my 3 pets...:) (btw they are all lap dogs) makes it even more interesting :)

High comedy indeed Miss Daisy , how I remember the hours of fun I had when Mr C fed his dogs a whole tray of flapjacks before leaving them with me for a night.......squirtastic :-(

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
quartered with bechamel or per frobi-delish! try lemonpepper and butter.

Yum....and double yum


know anyone who wears a false eye? by dead of night, replace that ersatz orb with one of these green meanies and let the laughs begin!! breakfast will never be the same!!

That sounds brilliant miss FN , If only I had a friend or relative with a false eye
****looks whistful****

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
Frozen ones are good slingshot ammo.
Mr H , its the only thing the frozen ones are good for , that and amusing party ice cubes , you certainly wouldnt want to eat them , they taste vile

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Combine brussel sprouts with cauliflower, cabbage and broccoli.

Wash down with a pint of Guinness.

Fartastic festivities.


I do try to keep my dinner resolutly inside my digestive tract MJ , one false move after eating this lot and you could end up redecorating the lounge

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Some foolish people dip them in snake bile and pretend they are testicles. Of course they are delicious. Salt, pepper and butter are all you need.
Mr Bananas , why oh why do they do that , I must admit to total bafflement I have never felt the only thing missing from my dinner is a few testicles , your ride nekkid sprouts teased to perfection with butter and seasoning is all that is required

BEAST said...

Piggy and Tazzy said...
Ooooh! Sprouts!

I love sprouts!

Easily my fave veg (apart from Tazzy).


Iwould have though Tazzy was more of a meat dish ?

BEAST said...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...
What it is!

Here's to all of my British pals who pronounce "th" as "f"


Hurrah its the Champ....
Many of the visitors to Beastbite like to loosen their stays and take out those bothersome dentures while relaxing in the comments lounge , this results in a softening of consenants , and a general relaxing of morals and bowels (which accounts for the smell)
Welcome back !

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
stephen how can you not know what brussel sprouts are? every family i know had them for dinner in the states...come on now...
Daisy the Champ moves in mysterious ways.....ours is not to question etc etc

Daisy said...

beast...i just can't believe stephen's mother (or someone) didn't try to torture him with sprouts...they always use it as a punishment thing for kids in the states...fortunately i liked them the first time i tried them...but i am an a bit odd in some ways ;)

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...i just can't believe stephen's mother (or someone) didn't try to torture him with sprouts...they always use it as a punishment thing for kids in the states...fortunately i liked them the first time i tried them...but i am an a bit odd in some ways ;)
Daisy I hated sprouts as a child and used to be force fed them 'as they were good for me' .I totally missed the toture your child element in my post , That is a top tip worth remembering. But I love them now :-)

Daisy said...

if nothing else...i have handy child torture tips which will pass a child welfare social worker...a perk of the job...lol

FirstNations said...

quartered and lightly steamed is the way forward with sprouts.

ALL HAIL THE CHAMP! HE IS BACK! *bows low*


(remember to update those fight points, mary.)

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
if nothing else...i have handy child torture tips which will pass a child welfare social worker...a perk of the job...lol


is that advertised on the job spec , there would be frazzled parents queuing up

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Oh Daisy.

You've made your first mistake.

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
quartered and lightly steamed is the way forward with sprouts.
No , No , No they must be whole with a cross in the stalk for even cooking , finished off with bacon lardons(sounds like hardons.....snigger) and a few chestnut pieces

ALL HAIL THE CHAMP! HE IS BACK! *bows low*


(remember to update those fight points, mary.)

Gratuitious soliciting of fight points is not allowed at Beastbite unless its me doing it.
That swine Frobisher still has more than me
(still sniggering about hardons)

BEAST said...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...
Oh Daisy.

You've made your first mistake.


Gulp.........

Daisy said...

oh stephen i can usually handle my own...bring it :)...btw yes it is bitch and NOT witch...

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