THE KING OF VEGETABLES

The best thing about this time of year , is the majestic sprout.

A versatile and tasty vegetable . Boil for 10 minutes and serve with a knob of butter and ground black pepper.....fantastic. Gone are the days when grandma Beasty would put the sprouts on to boil the day after halloween ready for xmas dinner , and produce a vile soggy kharki mush.They dont agree with everyones digestion and can produce voluminous amounts of cabbagey wind that cause hours of christmas afternoon fun as Granny farts the National Anthem during the traditional queens speech.

For safety sake always ensure you chew your sprouts well , and never on any account swallow them whole, as shattering great Aunt Bessies dentures with an unfortunate half digested , bottom burp driven , sprout projectile never goes down well

Sprouts have many other uses.

1.Thread on a string and have hours of family fun with a game of 'Sprouts' (just like conkers but with sprouts)

2.Super glue small sprouts around your anus and frighten people when you bend over in the showers at the gym with your comedy supturating haemaroids.

3.Jungle Jane tells me they they make excellent anal beads and double as healthy snack on those long commutes to work.

4.Orgasmic(err sorry organic) Love Eggs.....nuff said

5. Eco friendly jewellry - attractive and fragrant....yum yum

6.Keep an overcooked sprout in your hanky and amuse all you friends by pretending to sneeze and showing them your hanky contents....how we laughed.

These are just a few uses for the fun filled sprout .Please detail your sprout related shenanigans below.