Wednesday, 31 October 2007

RETURN OF THE CHAMP








The champ has taken a break from righting wrongs , casting out the unbeliever and exhaling pure testosterone, to pass among us mere mortals.
















The Beast has not been idle since his return , I have been rummaging in my wardrobe and you can see from the picture old Beasties months of gruelling excersise and diet have really paid off. OnceI climbed into the champs cast off lycra , As modest as I am I think the champ may have some competition.






There is always time for a few last minute adjustments to really put the icing on the cake. The Chest wig has been dusted off and back combed. I am now ready for much Star Treck related fun , hiaku competitions and an unholy battle for fight points.
The Beast is ready for all comers.
Three Cheers for the Champ......Hurrah


As I like to be prepared I am also putting the finishing touches to my Jungle Jane
Returns outfit.

I think I can give JJ a good run for her money as well......lets face it , I have bigger tits :-)

55 comments:

MJ said...

Just make sure you have plenty of beetroot nipple balm on hand.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Not many men are competitive about their tits. Which one is you?

Piggy and Tazzy said...

Ewwwwwww!

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

I appreciate the endless accolades, and your tireless efforts to keep lycra alive in the UK while I was away.

You can expect the first competition soon, after some much needed housekeeping takes place.

That means you, Daisy.

Hammer said...

Remember, nothing grows in the shade :D

Daisy said...

i am ready stephen...can box with the best of them darlin...ask hitch :)

Daisy said...

beast...it is amazing to me how you are so worried about this...be happy...you have two dogs who come to visit and they WANT to be in your bed...okay just being cheeky here...sorry...

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Just make sure you have plenty of beetroot nipple balm on hand.

Miss Mj you seem to be developing an unnatural fixatiuon with nipples and beetroots.....it will all end in tears , just ask Mr Mutley

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Not many men are competitive about their tits. Which one is you?

Good morning Mr B , firstly one only has certain god given assetts to be competetive with.
I am of course the second two pictures , dressed in my champ and jungle jane tribute costumes

BEAST said...

Piggy and Tazzy said...
Ewwwwwww!

oh you say that in public piggy and tazzy , but we all know whos undies you have been pinching from the washing line

BEAST said...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...
I appreciate the endless accolades, and your tireless efforts to keep lycra alive in the UK while I was away.

You can expect the first competition soon, after some much needed housekeeping takes place.

That means you, Daisy.


Right you are boss
***hopes its a star trek competition ****

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
Remember, nothing grows in the shade :D

What about athletes foot and mushrooms then ???

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
i am ready stephen...can box with the best of them darlin...ask hitch :)

I say ....is daisy flirting
shocking behaviour

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...it is amazing to me how you are so worried about this...be happy...you have two dogs who come to visit and they WANT to be in your bed...okay just being cheeky here...sorry...

Daisy . Its the return of The Champ , you were not here for the epic battles , vanquishing of foes (The Phantom Clarinetist , The Red Baron) , competitions , censorship and mythical Haiku.
Some things are worth celebrating
and then theres WCSN fight points ..Who could ask for more other than the timely return of Jungly Joan.
It beats a bed full of flea ridden smelly mutts.....sometimes :-)
They havnt been to visit for ages...Beast is a missin his little bunny's

Daisy said...

beast...i really don't know of the WCSN but have a feeling i am soon to be educated...btw...i always flirt...sometimes it is a good thing...sometimes just scary...depending on the vantage point...but never you worry darling...you have a good position so far ;)

Frobisher said...

World Champ Stephen Neal is back!

*runs around flushed and excited*

Did you know he is a huge Gay Icon?

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...i really don't know of the WCSN but have a feeling i am soon to be educated...btw...i always flirt...sometimes it is a good thing...sometimes just scary...depending on the vantage point...but never you worry darling...you have a good position so far ;)
Daisy , flirting is the spice of life , so feel free to dollop it around the interweb and brighten everyones day :-)

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
World Champ Stephen Neal is back!

*runs around flushed and excited*

Did you know he is a huge Gay Icon?


For heaven sakes settle down MR Frobisher , we dont want another international incident on our hands......poor President Putin has never been the same
*** wanders off tutting and shaking head****

FirstNations said...

the Holy Infant of Prague is a mid-sized Czechoslovakian icon.

it's true.

FirstNations said...

quit speaking in french, beast.
quit speaking in french, beast.
quit speaking in french, beast.
quit speaking in french, beast.
quit speaking in french, beast.

BEAST said...

Merde
Zut alore
Nous sommes fair le promenade au bicyclette avec Monsiuer Frobisher et Madamesoille First Nations dans le foret.
Monsiuer Frobisher et gross et grande.
Madamesoille First Nations pret les sandwiche des eouf.
Bonsoire Mes Amis

mutleythedog said...

Its all very exciting isn't it? I have to say you do look cute in your lycra, but I am not sure blue is your color... or pink... or red either. Had you considered a lycra burqua ever at all?

I shall pop over with the beetroot nipple balms later... I know lycra does rub.

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Froby, I've got a huge icon.

Beast, thanks for handling security and keeping Daily behind the red-velvet rope.

Daisy, I'm pissed that you're American and used the word "Cheeky."

Mutt, Gaze Into My Hypnotic Beard!!!

Daisy said...

stephen be pissed all you want about my language choice...i spend a third of my year in northern ireland so if i pick up on a word or two it really isn't a huge issue...i was always taught that as long as you can use it properly it isn't an issue but i can say there are several americans who can't even use the basic English language without problem...perhaps you should go for them first...eh?

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Its all very exciting isn't it? I have to say you do look cute in your lycra, but I am not sure blue is your color... or pink... or red either. Had you considered a lycra burqua ever at all?

I shall pop over with the beetroot nipple balms later... I know lycra does rub.


Mr M , your right , I am ever so handsome in the right sort of lighting (almost pitch black works well) , I no longer have any nipples after the Bridport winter equinox celebrations.....Doctor Scroggity was too drunk to save them... so..... they are mounted on a board by the front door so guests have somewhere to hang their coats

BEAST said...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...
Froby, I've got a huge icon.

Beast, thanks for handling security and keeping Daily behind the red-velvet rope.

Daisy, I'm pissed that you're American and used the word "Cheeky."
Mutt, Gaze Into My Hypnotic Beard!!!


Another set of problems solved by the wise application of body hair

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
stephen be pissed all you want about my language choice...i spend a third of my year in northern ireland so if i pick up on a word or two it really isn't a huge issue...i was always taught that as long as you can use it properly it isn't an issue but i can say there are several americans who can't even use the basic English language without problem...perhaps you should go for them first...eh?

Well Done Daisy
Excellent use of the partial geography excuse and 'He did It'
avoidance techniques.
One might even say 'cheeky' :-)

mutleythedog said...

OMIGOD!! Are you up for a pint this weekend at all? You owe me about seventy...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Daisy, there is no excuse for any non-American babble. Especially from a government employee whose salary comes from my kingdom of strength and domination. And, by the way, I'll be making the suggestions around here.

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Daisy said:
"i was always taught that as long as you can use it properly it isn't an issue but i can say there are several americans who can't even use the basic English language without problem."

Don't you mean "without A problem"? Or was the letter "A" hidden behind your run-on sentence?

Perhaps I should go for you first...eh?

Daisy said...

beast :)

stephen...perhaps you should know a little more about me prior to make an assumption that i am unable to make suggestions...as a employee of the state, from which you don't reside, you don't pay my salary...but thanks for thinking so much of yourself to think you are that important in my existance...shows a little about you which you may not have wanted to give up so soon in the game :)
and for the sentence structure...i did not leave out the "a" as you pointed out (of which it would have been lower case not upper case as you noted)...perhaps you should reread the sentence and it would translate better for you darlin...

BEAST said...

Oh dear.One is going to have to lay down the law .How bothersome.

Beastbite is a little bit of England on the Blogsphere.Beast is the sole representative of her sovereign majesty the Queen(the real one not Mr Piggy).
Therefore by the power invested in me..... What I say goes.
Beast graciously accepts any mangling of the Queens English in both grammar and spelling without comment ( especially from our American cousins who have comitted some hideous crimes against the mother tongue)
Mr Mutley . Raise the Union Jack
Mr Frobisher. Cut the crusts from the cucumber sanwiches and butter the scones.
Jungle Jane .Stop doing that ! and pour the tea.
Miss First Nations , Good Show , carry on keeping those Canadian blighter at bay.
Mr Champ and Miss Daisy , shake hands, and apologise (frostily).
Then all be upstanding for a rousing rendition of Jerusalem .

Daisy said...

beast only for you...i put my hand out...gently...(i can only behave so long)...but i like you beast and do it for you :)

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

I refuse, and scoff at all unbelievers.

*pulls a single strand of hair from his ear and flicks it in the general direction of Daisy, Canada and France. However, a mighty wind from the East carries it toward California, where it lands with a devastating crash, causing Los Angeles to crumble into the sea.

MJ said...

I've just found an ear hair in my cereal bowl.

Daisy said...

beast you cant say i didn't try...but i think a rock bottom is in order at this moment...and well...i know the moves :)
...waiting beasts permission...and i don't do that often...

BEAST said...

Firstly MJ ewwww.
Secondly...
oh well bloggers will be bloggers , it is now apparent to everyone why a career in the United Nations peace keeping force was not an option for Beastie.

Go on then Daisy make you next move quickly before the Champ runs out of hairy bits to pluck.

***slaps tin helmet on head and ducks behind sandbags****

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

I break rock bottoms on a daily basis.

Daisy said...

the only thing you have been able to break thus far stephen...is my concentration...btw don't they make razors for men...to shave hair...so they don't look like the apes they were decendent from?
oh that was just bad...sorry beast i am tired today...just can't be arsed

BEAST said...

***peeling a banana reflectivly***
:-)

jodie marsh said...

I get all damp when I listen to the champ

Piggy and Tazzy said...

"Beast is the sole representative of her sovereign majesty the Queen(the real one not Mr Piggy)."

Cheeky cunt.

(note the clever and correct use of both 'cheeky' AND 'cunt').

Anyway Beasty, isn't it time you posted something new, you lazy bastard?

Daisy is very argumentative, isn't she? We like her.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

"but i think a rock bottom is in order at this moment

Daisy darling, I think you meant "I", not "i".

Also, I think you'll find Beasty has a flabby, not a rock bottom.

Secretly, I think world champ stephen is in love with you. Sadly, you'd never manage to get you vulva up his arse - unless you can do tricks you haven't revealed to us yet.

Frobisher said...

*gasps*

Frobisher said...

I'd have children by the World Champ Stephen Neal :-)

Daisy said...

piggy and tazzy...i usually type in only lower case...separates my work from my play time...yes being a bitch is fun for me...i'm not sure about the vulva/arse thing, maybe you were referring to the rock bottom (a wrestling move) but i have no desire to have my vulva next to the ass of stephen...omg i vomitted a little in my mouth just typing that...

BEAST said...

It just gets worse.

Its all escalating from grammar and spelling to incorrect capitilisation and unnatural acts with intimate lady parts and passing sporting stars rectums.

To top it all Frobisher is getting broody.
It wont be long before MJ's fragrant minge makes an appearance
*****Big Sigh*****
Oh Where did it all go wrong!

Daisy said...

beast...apparently it was with me...i will take my leave...ciao

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...apparently it was with me...i will take my .
leave...ciao


Daisy , we cant be having flouncing off in a huff...... that's Mr Hitch's perogative
One just has to resign oneself to the Champ being all macho and hairy , Messr' s Piggy and Tazzy being dead common , Frobisher getting lairy on mothers ruin , MJ's minge , Mr Mutley cocking his leg , Miss First Nations occasional scalping fit , Jungle JAne dry humping the furniture , Mu tai burbling incoherently , the occasinal insult from Mr C , old knudsen festering unpleasantly in the corner.
Unpleasant stains
Bad Grammar
Worse spelling
and crimes against punctuation.
Its more fun than watching the TV and the only thing close to sex that some people get. :-)

MJ said...

But I'm wearing an Air Wick Plug-In Scent Diffuser!

It gives a light burst of fragrance every 18 minutes.

Piggy and Tazzy said...

MJ - try increasing it to every 2 minutes.

And don't forget to hit the boost button frequently.

Daisy said...

beast it was not a huff...you will know if i huff...i was being polite...hence the ciao...huff calls for a more reactive approach...and hitch does not hold the exclusive contract on huffs...although he is quite proficient in his execution of them...

MJ said...

Piggy: I've hung a festive Christmas-tree-shaped car air freshener from it.

Happy now?

BEAST said...

Well everything is solved then
Daisy isnt in a huff.
MJ's minge is giving out wafts of summer meadows and Christmas spice
and Piggy and Tazzy are ....well....Piggy and Tazzy.
Who can ask for more on a sunday evening

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Why are Mommy and Daddy fighting?

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