Thursday, 30 October 2008

EARTHMOTHER

Not that anyone cares , but you may have wondered why the Beast has been largely absent this week .
Well what a week Beast "Single Mother of two" has had . Hellhounds Alfie and Lloyd are staying Chez Beastly while Mr C suns himself in Turkey.

When your normally only used to looking after yourself , it comes as a bit of a shock to suddenly have to run around , cooking(well opening a few cans) , cleaning , shopping , mopping up little accidents , daily garden 'dog log' cleanup , grooming , getting up in the night when little bladders are bursting and "Walkies".All this and fitting in with work and stuff.
I am exhausted


There are however a few benefits , If anyone wants us , you can find me and 'baby' Alfie shoplifting in Asda , these prams are damn handy for stowing 'liberated' goods and us hard pressed single mums need all the help we can get stretching our meager budgets . I wonder if I can apply for child support and a council flat ????

14 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

Yep, as a dog owner you find out what cleaning is really about. Sellotape come in handy, as does vinegar, bicarbonate of soda and a box of surgical gloves.
Be careful out there Mr Beasty.
Sx

MJ said...

Miss Scarlet, I am in charge of surgical gloves around here.

*snaps gloved hand and asks Beast to bend over*

scarlet-blue said...

I had wondered where they'd all gone. Would you like a nibble on my Terry's Chocolate Orange, Miss MJ? And I have a sprig of mint as garnish.
Sx

INNER VOICES said...

*chuckles at "doglogs" remark*

KAZ said...

Is Mr C on the run?
Or is he just a bit fed up of looking after those hellhounds?

Gorilla Bananas said...

I am wondering who the dominant male is in your house, Beast. It doesn't sound as if it's you.

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Yep, as a dog owner you find out what cleaning is really about. Sellotape come in handy, as does vinegar, bicarbonate of soda and a box of surgical gloves.
Be careful out there Mr Beasty.
Miss Scarlet , they are a joyous little bundles of bodily functions

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Miss Scarlet, I am in charge of surgical gloves around here.

*snaps gloved hand and asks Beast to bend over*
***Farts on Miss MJ's Hobknob***

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
I had wondered where they'd all gone. Would you like a nibble on my Terry's Chocolate Orange, Miss MJ? And I have a sprig of mint as garnish.
***hangs garlic round neck and sharpens stake rady for Miss MJ ***

BEAST said...

INNER VOICES said...
*chuckles at "doglogs" remark*

There is nothing remotely chucklesome about a bucket of doglogs Mr Voices

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
Is Mr C on the run?
Or is he just a bit fed up of looking after those hellhounds?

Hopefully the fashion police have caught up with the blighter Miss Kaz. He is never apart from his 'boys' they are a little pack , so he is probably missing them horribly

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
I am wondering who the dominant male is in your house, Beast. It doesn't sound as if it's you.
Mr Bananas , The Beast is definetly Top Dog , however I am nmore of a benign dictator than a raving despot

eroswings said...

Well, just make sure you look good in case they bust you and take a foto of you for shoplifting.

You're a saint for taking in the visitors and hosting them for a while.

MJ said...

HobNob farts...

Is there a video like wirh cake farts?

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