Thursday, 31 July 2008

DEJA VU



Here we go again.

Beasts annual 'give up smoking and diet' train wreck.

This time I have enrolled with smoke stop for 1-to-1 therapy , rather than the ghastly group therapy session

ahem ' My names Beast and I am a smoker'

***embarrassed ragged round of applause***

Bollocks to that , I am also giving the new drug Champix a try .I have started the drug but don't have to give up smoking till next week .

Now Champix is generally very good in 70% of people but has some startlingly bad side effects in a few , so they are quiet careful with monitoring you in the early stages . My session today started with my counsellor ,we shall call him The twat in the cravat , yes yes he actually wears a cravat , and has that foppish Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen 'artistic' bleating voice .He peered at me closely, like he was inspecting some sort of laboratory experiment that is about to explode , then asked me very loudly and slowly if I had gone mental yet.

He gave every indication of not believing me and was somewhat disappointed when I said I hadn't.

Still he cheered up a little when informing me the REAL danger period was the next week when the dose doubles ,and then chirruped happily 'how some of his clients had had some really AWFUL incidents but not to worry nobody has died......... YET '.

So feeling suitably motivated .....I left . If I haven't gone frothing mad by next week , I think he may cry.

Just to make things interesting I have also gone back to Slimming World . Why make yourself suffer with giving up smoking , when you can starve yourself to death at the same time.

I shall let you all know how its going , In the mean time if you hear anything howling at the moon.

Its probably just me!


AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

50 comments:

Leah said...

I quit my darling cigs in February. RIP, sweet sweet better than sex tobacco stick habit. Beast, I salute you.

BEAST said...

Leah . Its like losing an old friend :-(

INNER VOICES said...

*light up a smoke and blows it in beasts and leah direction*

ahhhh......

Anonymous said...

lol yay at last... go on jump :)

BEAST said...

***leah and Beast set about Inner Voices with a shovel and a monkey wrench***

Mr C , with an attitude like that you could get a job as a Smoke Stop Counsellor :-)

Queen Goob said...

I just quit, too - cause MY BREAK WAS OVER. No droppin' of the smokes and no diet, either.

You know what diet is, don't you?

DIE with a "t" at the end.

Not for me.

BEAST said...

Queen Goob said...
I just quit, too - cause MY BREAK WAS OVER. No droppin' of the smokes and no diet, either.

You know what diet is, don't you?

DIE with a "t" at the end.

Not for me.
welcome Your Majesty , its all about personal choice
I have smoked too long , Time to shake things up a bit :-)

Gorilla Bananas said...

What you need, Beast, is a near death experience with a dangerous predator. It will change your whole outlook on life. Giving up smoking will be a piece of cake. As will giving up cake.

INNER VOICES said...

*flees the scene before being womped with the shovel, not before leaving pack of smokes and lighter on table with note saying "do not smoke these".*

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
What you need, Beast, is a near death experience with a dangerous predator. It will change your whole outlook on life. Giving up smoking will be a piece of cake. As will giving up cake.

I have worked in the kitchens of Cafe C , Mr B , it doesnt get any scarier than that . Hence the motivation to give up this time :-)

BEAST said...

INNER VOICES said...
*flees the scene before being womped with the shovel, not before leaving pack of smokes and lighter on table with note saying "do not smoke these".*

Joins hands with leah and sings chorus of We Shall Overcome

mutleythedog said...

I quit in March for a job interview.. piece of piss really. My lungs have air in them now. Apparently...

BEAST said...

Mr M , I hate it when people say they gave up easily.
Pah They cant have been propper smokers in my book

Lets throw these pots and jars at a fleeing Mr Mutley Leah.
first one with a bull eye gets Inner Voices Cigs

Daisy said...

beast...be very very careful...that is some dangerous stuff...i'm not trying to scare you away or get you not to stop smoking, that is your choice...but check it out online and LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY to everything your doctor tells you...take notes if you have to...please...i know a few people who used that and had a very very rough time of it...they said it was great for quitting but as soon as they were off they wanted a cig immediately...and just in case your doc didn't tell you...it does change synapse responses in your brain...so be very very careful...please...

Leah said...

Beating people with shovels could definitely fill in for a smoke now and again!

MJ said...

Have you coughed up anything green yet?

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...be very very careful...that is some dangerous stuff...i'm not trying to scare you away or get you not to stop smoking, that is your choice...but check it out online and LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY to everything your doctor tells you...take notes if you have to...please...i know a few people who used that and had a very very rough time of it...they said it was great for quitting but as soon as they were off they wanted a cig immediately...and just in case your doc didn't tell you...it does change synapse responses in your brain...so be very very careful...please...
I shall be careful Daisy , but so far I feel fine :-)

BEAST said...

Leah said...
Beating people with shovels could definitely fill in for a smoke now and again!
there you go Leah ,everyone needs a hobby , its cheaper than smoking and you get a bit of excercise while you do it

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Have you coughed up anything green yet?
Only the Green Elf Shorts

Anonymous said...

im sat here with nothing on eating a french fancey! and sucking away on somthing long and thim with a creamy taste to it... mmmm in hale exhale..... listen to the voices... what harm can one drag do.....

Frobisher said...

Why do we punish ourselves by giving up pleasurable experiences just for an extra five years dribbling in the corner of the rest home?

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
im sat here with nothing on eating a french fancey! and sucking away on somthing long and thim with a creamy taste to it... mmmm in hale exhale..... listen to the voices... what harm can one drag do.....

I know its filthy Friday but this is getting ridiculous . Miss MJ please take Mr C in hand

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Why do we punish ourselves by giving up pleasurable experiences just for an extra five years dribbling in the corner of the rest home?

**** Passes Frobisher an extra strength prozac****

Lippy said...

I have been wheat, dairy and caffiene free for a whole week....it isn't nice Beast really it isn't. But the doc says...you have to try so I am.

But more than anything I would like a two shot venti latte with cinnamon syrup...thank you...

BEAST said...

wheat , dairy and caffiene free , is there anything left Lippy ?

MJ said...

If all Madonna’s years of yoga workouts and natural foods have led to this, we might as well all smoke, drink and eat ourselves into oblivion.

eroswings said...

Best of luck with quitting smoking and embarking on a diet. Most of all best wishes on making your therapist cry...

Anonymous said...

FUCKING DULL DULL DULL.. WE ALL HAVE DIE SOMETIME .... CAFINE FREEE DRUG FREE SMOKE FREE BLA BLA BLA BLA.. ANYONE CARE FOR A GLASS OF MINERAL WATER...

FirstNations said...

hey, I'll take Mr. C 'in hand'!!! *hops up and down excitedly, sings 'I Know What Boys Like'*

I found that I needed to fill the absence of one habit with another, hence my weekly consumption of an entire tin of peppermint Altoids. hell, it works, and you can play stackies with the little metal boxes when you're done with the candies.

FirstNations said...

..or use them to store your drugs in. seriously. oxycontin looks just like an altoid. if only they came in peppermint....

BEAST said...

MJ said...
If all Madonna’s years of yoga workouts and natural foods have led to this, we might as well all smoke, drink and eat ourselves into oblivion.
Thats the spirit Miss MJ
***passes MJ a donut****

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Best of luck with quitting smoking and embarking on a diet. Most of all best wishes on making your therapist cry...
Thanks eros , most of my meatworld chums have no doubt I will drive the counsellor to iether drink or hard drugs before the course has finished :-)

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
FUCKING DULL DULL DULL.. WE ALL HAVE DIE SOMETIME .... CAFINE FREEE DRUG FREE SMOKE FREE BLA BLA BLA BLA.. ANYONE CARE FOR A GLASS OF MINERAL WATER...
Oh dear....sooner than we thought...group hug anyone ???

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
hey, I'll take Mr. C 'in hand'!!! *hops up and down excitedly, sings 'I Know What Boys Like'*
I just have to trick the blighter into this container and he will be with you in a couple of weeks
***lays trail of donuts, cigarettes and porn mags***


I found that I needed to fill the absence of one habit with another, hence my weekly consumption of an entire tin of peppermint Altoids. hell, it works, and you can play stackies with the little metal boxes when you're done with the candies.
With al those Altiods , Do you do minty farts ???
As Miss MJ has made me take up knitting , I am sure that will fill the gap

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
..or use them to store your drugs in. seriously. oxycontin looks just like an altoid. if only they came in peppermint....
I havnt got any drugs :-( , but I could pretend , like the altiods are drugs , and then I will be way cool

MJ said...

mmmm, smells minty fresh in here.

mutleythedog said...

Hows it going me old mate? All is well I trust?

BEAST said...

MJ said...
mmmm, smells minty fresh in here.
You over did the sphincterfresh Miss MJ

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Hows it going me old mate? All is well I trust?

Oh yes Mr M , the Beast is in fine fettle :-)))

Lippy said...

There is very little left Beast, am subsisting on chicken salad....but many's the night I dream of cheese, toasted mostly.......................

Frobisher said...

Hey! Fatso! you lost any weight yet???

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
There is very little left Beast, am subsisting on chicken salad....but many's the night I dream of cheese, toasted mostly.......................
Can you have goats cheese Lippy , I am sure you can toast that on something wheat free , isnt feta from sheep ??

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Hey! Fatso! you lost any weight yet???
feck! its my slimming world counsellor.
He must have missed the 'being sensetive' course

mutleythedog said...

Had you thought of investing in a home steam room? You can make one yourself by simply boiling water on both rings of the cooker and donning all your cagoules and waterproofs... then standing next to them. !! Thats my great home tip - watch out it encourages fungii!

MJ said...

Dust. Anybody? No? High in fat, low in fat? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. It's actually very low in fat. You can have as much dust as you like.

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Had you thought of investing in a home steam room? You can make one yourself by simply boiling water on both rings of the cooker and donning all your cagoules and waterproofs... then standing next to them. !! Thats my great home tip - watch out it encourages fungii!
I dont own a cagoule......is that why I am fat ??? I only have rubber pants for that nightime problem we discussed Mr M , do you think I can grow mushrooms in them ???

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Dust. Anybody? No? High in fat, low in fat? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. Anybody? No? Dust. It's actually very low in fat. You can have as much dust as you like.

Mr Mutley wants bitty miss MJ

Letty Cruz said...

So glad I took up running cross-country early enough to make those devil ciggies a no-no for my track meet obsessed pre-teen mind.

My rich liquors and strong coffee habits are all I can manage. And best of luck to you on your annual trainwreck!

BEAST said...

Letty I only took it up to annoy my parents
How stupid is that !

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