Thursday, 10 July 2008
I AM NOT ONE TO COMPLAIN.....BUT
The Beast is back from a weeks vacation........
The Beast is in cantankerous mood. My biggest gripe at the moment are the new self service checkouts at the supermarket.A marvellous invention where you can scan your own goods in a fraction of the time it usually takes to queue at a normal checkout. However , I have noticed of late that dim witted parents feel this has been put in place as a toy for there lumpen children. You join a massive queue , and why is it so massive???? because every dumbass that has managed to breed , thinks its a rollicking good idea to allow their 6 year old offspring to scan the shopping, you can see the look of misplaced pride that the inept fruit of their lions is taking 15 times longer to scan anything and holding up masses of shoppers .This of course escalates in that any parent in the queue feels a need to do the same thing , whether its for reasons of displaying parental pride or that their ill disciplined brats will starts screaming if they don't let them.
Who knows , but if only I had a harpoon gun I am sure I could sort this one out pretty quick.
Next up its caravan'ers , as soon as we hit July , those with a tortoise like mentality start clogging the roads . Hoards of the buggers trundling everywhere at 30 miles an hour. I have never seen the value in it meself.
Some will tell you its the romance of it all. However spending a week or two living in an area approximately the size of the average garden shed , crapping in a bucket and living off tinned spam and dehydrated mash all cooked up on your two ring baby belling. Broiling if its sunny(put a chicken leg in a Tupperware pot and leave it in the sun for a day and just see what state its in) or freezing to death if the British summer turns inclement , don't sound much fun to me.
Rumour has it that the Caravan Club meets are a hotbed for swingers(one suspects this rumour was spread by the Caravan Club publicity department).So if anyone fancies playing hide the sausage with the caravan 'er pin ups on the left , I am sure the CC will be beside themselves to hear from you.Doris is greasing her thighs with tinned ham jelly as we speak.
Ooooooh the Glamour !
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