Thursday, 3 July 2008

HOW BIG IS YOURS????


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I refer of course to my magnificent Phoenix Palm , luxuriating in the front yard of The Beasts Lair.
I bet Miss First Nations would love to play with her Barbados Barbie set in the shade of this beauty.
Miss MJ will be making saucy suggestions about the size of my coconuts , if I am any judge , and Mr Bananas will be itching to swing through the branches.
Re the photograph. As you can see , I have yet to master auto focus :-(.
The Beast has a weeks vacation , and will be having a good old clean out.
(I am talking about the contents of the house , not a high colonic) , gardening fest , gym freak out and if I can fit it in , I may well wander down the road to the beach , for a refreshing * dip in the English channel **
*ie Fecking freezing
**No Miss MJ I will not furnish pics of me in a speedo

31 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

It wouldn't take my weight, but if you put on a loincloth and wax your chest you might make a passable Tarzan alongside that shrub.

BEAST said...

Well that told me .....shrub indeed.
Harumph

Anonymous said...

you seem to be talking to your self alot beast.. yes thats right mj.. he he he who said that?? was that you first nation.. good god theres a gorilla hanging out of a shrub.. now before you cmment il do it for you dear... DULL DULL DULL... isnt that right mj.. he he he he...

Anonymous said...

HELL FN XXX

BEAST said...

As Mr C well knows , I have a glove puppet made of each blogger.
The glove puppets are my only friends

Lippy said...

It's a very nice palm tree Beast- enjoy your week off , wow have you picked well with the weather.

Daisy said...

i think your palm looks grand...just perfect for your house...enjoy your time off...my vacation isn't approved until october "operational needs" or some shit...make sure you take a towel to cover with when you go to the English channel...would have for a situation regarding shrinkage to happen in that speedo without assistance...

Frobisher said...

Is it a council house?

MJ said...

I am fearful that you're on your way to Canada to join me for the remainder of my vacation.

*hides behind massive Douglas fir tree*

*notes Beast's coconuts have shriveled after the dip in the channel*

Leah said...

Swell digs, beast

FirstNations said...

i AM LAVENDER WITH ENVY i TELL YOU! Thats a HOUSEPLANT here!!! OMG! gorgeous, beast!! and it suits the house perfectly too!

FirstNations said...

anon: hello C!! XXX!

when are you going to introduce the 'FirstNations Burrito Platter' to your clientele?

FirstNations said...

screw it, i have to comment again. that impressed the Biker, beastie! thats simply a glorious palm tree you've got going there. excellent!

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
It's a very nice palm tree Beast- enjoy your week off , wow have you picked well with the weather.

Lippy , ta , its been more like a week of hard labour than a holiday :-(

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
i think your palm looks grand...just perfect for your house...enjoy your time off...my vacation isn't approved until october "operational needs" or some shit...make sure you take a towel to cover with when you go to the English channel...would have for a situation regarding shrinkage to happen in that speedo without assistance...

Thanks Daisy, thats a bugger having to wait till october :( . I def wont be wearing speedo's on the beach....I am not French

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Is it a council house?

How rude Frobisher. Do you see a sky sattelite dish....well do you ???

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I am fearful that you're on your way to Canada to join me for the remainder of my vacation.

*hides behind massive Douglas fir tree*

*notes Beast's coconuts have shriveled after the dip in the channel*

There is still time to board a flight Miss MJ , what would you organise to entertain avacationing Beast ???

BEAST said...

Leah said...
Swell digs, beast.

Gee Thanks Leah , of course the whole street is still not talking to me , it been a year and a half since Mr C moved away , so you would think tempers would have cooled by now , maybe in another two years

BEAST said...

Fn x3 .
Its a spiny evil bastard of a thing , I had to prune the lower fronds and got stabbed about 50 times. I have only had it about 4 years , it was only two foot high when I got it . Its gone mad :)

Daisy said...

beast...all the more to like about you...the no speedo thing that is :)

MJ said...

I'm sorry, what did you say?

*insert staticky sounds here*

Our connection must be breaking up.

UBERMOUTH said...

Nice palm, but speedo,speedo,speedo!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Lawks! What a whopper!

Letty Cruz said...

From what I gather, a dip in the English Channel is nature's high colonic...or natures acid peel. Anyhey, wishing you many a good time out yonder!

BEAST said...

Daisy the only excuse for speedo's is if your competition swimming or sunbathing. There is no excuse for strutting ....none what so ever.

Miss MJ since I didnt hear a rejection , I will be aboard the next flight , you wil be ableto spot me in the arrivals hall , I will be the one mooning at you :-).

Uber . You may regret that
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Mr IVD . Size isnt everything....apparently.

Miss Cruz . The water is lovely and clean here , compared with the med, thats possibly why one gets a better tan in spain.

MJ said...

Are you back yet?

How was the enema?

mutleythedog said...

Thats not a palm tree - its a giant carrot and its undermining yer foundations!

Next a huge rabbit will come and dig it up. It will it will!!

I expect you will be cruising out to Studland for some nudie posing as usual - should I alert the PCSO??

BEAST said...

Miss MJ I am still on the cafe C chain gang till thursday . I am knackered .....some holiday ....pah.

Mr Mutley . I shall be on my guard for giant rabbits , as if I dont have enough to worry about , what with the killer zombie sausages on the loose and the vicar going beserk in Lidl's .I havnt got time for posin , and I am a strong believer that some things are best left to the imagination.

MJ said...

I hope you're not too knackered to change your knickers.

BEAST said...

dont wear any !

MJ said...

I'm blushing!

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