Saturday, 19 July 2008

BEASTBITE BOOK CLUB SUMMER SCORCHERS

Beast has been scouring the vacation seasons litary offerings and selected a second list of books to keep the diverse and 'interesting' tastes of the average Beastbite reader satisfied while they are sprawled in an overstretched thong giving the general public the benefit of their orange peel thighs and oiled love handles.

1. A cautionary tale of ring burning intensity























2.A tense thrilling story of forgotten HRT patches and muderous Menopausal Mayhem .











3.For the practical minded. You will be dying to read this weighty tome....gedditttt













4. Good Clean fun for all the family(Pop up Version) !










5. A self help classic for those who like to spend their down time in a little self improvement


6 .Develishly delicious hot lezzbo grinding , this will make you scream at the sight of a grilled sardine









7. Banish those tedious holiday snaps ,Hours of fun with your digital Camera











8.One for the boys that get bored lazing by the pool .Real speedo splitting stuff











9.Nostalgic drivel for anyone who was ever a girl guide









10.Companion Novel to no 9 for the Ex Boy Scout













Beastbite wishes you all a happy and healthy vacation , where ever you may go

38 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I see you favour self-improvement books rather than the gripping page-turner.

BEAST said...

I dont know Mr B , too Hot to Handle and satan was a Lesbian look pretty gripping to me

Daisy said...

i had no idea there was a book teaching you how not to be a cunt...and to think i could have averted so many problems...ah but there would be the loss of fun along the way...

MJ said...

I see that "Exercising the Penis" is subtitled, "How to Make Your Most Prized Organ Bigger, Harder & Healthier".

So how are you making out with that?

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
i had no idea there was a book teaching you how not to be a cunt...and to think i could have averted so many problems...ah but there would be the loss of fun along the way...
I bet your a real sweetheart daisy :-)

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I see that "Exercising the Penis" is subtitled, "How to Make Your Most Prized Organ Bigger, Harder & Healthier".

So how are you making out with that?
Miss MJ , I have a fine figure of an organ , I included this book for our less fortunate readers

mutleythedog said...

I seem to have forgotten how to read.. very odd. I am well into Homo Hill though as I am having it read to me.

Daisy said...

beast...don't tell all my secrets...

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
I seem to have forgotten how to read.. very odd. I am well into Homo Hill though as I am having it read to me.
you have probably lost the ability to read as you have cabbage poisoning. I hope its the lovely Bonita resting your head on her silken thighs , while she reads the turgid tale

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast...don't tell all my secrets...
I wont tell ALL of them Daisy

Letty Cruz said...

oh MAN could I use that list to whack a closeted bible-thumper I know!

but that would be not-so-buddha-nature of me, ugh, the moral quandries I get myself into.

OH WELL -- guess I'll go with my desert-rat nature on this one.

& thanks! LOVE your book selection posts -- was the last one that kept me coming back to all this beastliness! ;D

BEAST said...

Letty any of these books are bound to get you noticed by the pool ....and as they say there is no such thing as bad publicity

INNER VOICES said...

great books as usuall... i'll have to pic me up a copy of that too hot to handle....

MJ said...

Oprah called and wants you to do a guest appearance.

BEAST said...

INNER VOICES said...
great books as usuall... i'll have to pic me up a copy of that too hot to handle....
Talking of too hot to handle
..... Heres Miss MJ

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Oprah called and wants you to do a guest appearance.

Does she pay ????

MJ said...

Oprah will give you a J.Lo velour sweatsuit, a jar of Kai Body Butter & Buffer and a subscription to O Magazine.

Feel the joy.

BEAST said...

Silly old bag!
Harumph

MJ said...

*eyes The Beast up and down*

You really COULD use some of that body buffer.

BEAST said...

What rubbish! I have the skin of a 16 year old milk fed virgin .
But enough about my taste in soft furnishings :-)

FirstNations said...

*snaps another image of dangling bits from beneath chesterfield*


mmm...theres something...familiar...about this upholstery....

FirstNations said...

incidentally, i no longer have to use the zoom lens. who says regular exercise doesn't pay off??

BEAST said...

Thank heavens its you Miss FN , I was worried Heather Mills-Mccartney was hiding under there AGAIN.
I shall make sure I hold my guts in when in camera view of the sofa in futur , one like to look ones best

Lippy said...

Please, please for the love of all that is ....whatever...start buying your books from Waterstones like a normal person!

But then, after all your exertions at Cafe Cunnt you must be much too tired for reading. Sit down and let me make you a nice cup of tea.

Hammer said...

I'm ordering these on amazon!

Great stuff!

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
Please, please for the love of all that is ....whatever...start buying your books from Waterstones like a normal person!

But then, after all your exertions at Cafe Cunnt you must be much too tired for reading. Sit down and let me make you a nice cup of tea.

Lippy . waterstones tend to be a bit lacking in imagination for the Beasts tastes . I have had a nice rest from Cafe C for the last week , which was just as well after the shoulder mangling incident
Oooooh the pain

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
I'm ordering these on amazon!

Great stuff!

Marvelous Mr H , they will certainly liven up you summer

mutleythedog said...

Have you ever written a book Mr B?

BEAST said...

I never have Mr B , its bad enough trying to write my blog :-(

BEAST said...

I meant Mr M. I am getting confused :-(

Anonymous said...

write a book fuck me that would take all of 2mins, i know watt the name of it would be called dull as ditch water... chapter 1 yawn...

the end...

cafe cuntt..

Letty Cruz said...

Me thinks 'cafe cunt' needs some more cafe.

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
write a book fuck me that would take all of 2mins, i know watt the name of it would be called dull as ditch water... chapter 1 yawn...

the end...

cafe cuntt..
Mr C . You need to add a little sugar to that cafe....its sounds a little BITTER :-)

BEAST said...

Letty Cruz said...
Me thinks 'cafe cunt' needs some more cafe.
Letty , Mr C needs a swift kick up the ass and then sending to bed early to get a good nights sleep :-)

Liz said...

Something for everyone there I see.

Surely Richard and Judy could employ you as adviser with their summer reading schemes.

Anonymous said...

i find frobishers blogg better reading myself....

BEAST said...

Liz said...
Something for everyone there I see.

Surely Richard and Judy could employ you as adviser with their summer reading schemes.

we are a broad church at Beastbites , I am amazed I havnt ben snapped up for international stardom before now :-)

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
i find frobishers blogg better reading myself....
Dont let us detain you !

About Me

My photo
Doing Other Stuff for a while.Mail /MSN messenger on beastch@hotmail.co.uk...COME AND SAY HELLO GO ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO