Friday, 6 April 2007


Do you know something , in all my 40 odd years on this planet , no one has ever brought me a chocolate easter egg......EVER.

When we were kids my parents couldnt afford it , but bless em they used to make a real effort with all these sorts of things , filling egg shells with Jelly and cornflake chocolate cakes and stuff , but chocolate eggs where off the menu as they were just too expensive .Then as you get older , all the chocolate goodies tend to be concentrated on the next generation of kids.

All I ever wanted was just one , wrapped in glittery foil , not bothered about it being filled with manky chocolate bars or wether it sitting bestride a cheap and nasty mug.

Did Jesus die on the cross so Beast could'nt have an egg......I dont think so , the heavenly throng are probably weeping at this hidious injustice(thats why it always rains at easter).

Its not good enough to go and buy your own, thats like kerb crawling , and likewise you cant just give someone the money to go and by one for you (pimping).

Its gotta be spontanious , and its probably never going to happen :-( .

So enjoy your easter breaks one and all , and spare a poor deprived Beast a thought as you sit chocolate besplattered, satiated and content.

Is there anything from your childhood that you never got that you still crave beyond reason today ???


Hammer said...

Sorry about the eggs, I never got them either, just the cheap ones that were filled with marshmallows.

I went to get myself a fancy cadbury egg with the thick chocolate shell and the filling that looks like a egg yolk, but decided paying $2.50 for one piece of candy ws kind of stupid.

I'm going to steal some from the kids easter basket ;)

BEAST said...

Well done hammer , showing the true spirit of easter !
Them damn kids get all the bloody goodies

First Nations said...

...lil easter eggs, all chocolate, with windows you can look through made of sugar with a candy bunny AND a candy baby chicken inside.

..oo, yes! a Schwinn Phantom! to this day i see them and LUST.
stupid parents.

Lippy said...

A pony!

But never mind, I always swore I would buy one before I bought a car but that didn't quite work out. I did actually save enough money to buy my own pony at the age of 12 but this sent my mother into a flat panic and she banned them anyway. Which just convinced me for life that saving up for things is rubbish!

If I knew where you lived Beast I'd send you one of those Prestat eggs full of truffles.....but aren't we dieting love?

frobisher said...

I seem to remember buying you a Cadbury's Creme Egg the other year.

Or was that someone else?

Anonymous said...

AWWWWW watt a fucking shame boo fucking whooo! its a fucking easter egg! get over it you sad cunt!!

happy easter everyone :)


Anonymous said...

i bort him an easter egg!


Anonymous said...

I got Mr B a real Pterodactyls egg- was he grateful? Not when it hatched!!

BEAST said...

I have TWO easter eggs now....... one even has a Barbie purse with it......Frobisher will be trying to filch(yes filch not felch) that later no doubt.
I am sat here with my foil wrapped glittering pretties , smeared in chocolate , a happy beast :-).
Now about that Porche 911 I never got !!!!!

BEAST said...

Mr Mutley , that egg made a very nice omlette.....a bit chewy , but once you picked the beak and claws out , it wasnt too bad

Anonymous said...

wow. this blows me away. see, for years i was told that it was the easter DOG.

Byron Chalver said...

I never got Alison Fewtrell. Mmmmmmmm Alison Fewtrell! And Francis Charles Mmmmmmmm Francis Charles!
Francis and Alison chewing each other's butt knots.

Excuse me.

Anonymous said...

It was aimed to be a living present Mr B - not to be eaten....

BEAST said...

Anon - basically your an idiot.
Sorry but the beast is always harsh but fair.

Byron - thank you for sharing.....
now what the hells a butt knots , are they like a Dorset Knob (a local delicacy)???

Mutley - oooops , its not any more

MJ said...

A pogo stick.

Alas, there were no sidewalks where I lived.

The Hitch said...

The Hitch was spoilt only child and used to be deluged in easter eggs to the point where I was sick of the fuckers, you should have me let me know I would have posted you one.
Having said that I bought one for my mother this year and she got me jack shit , so I ate it.

Anonymous said...

My Butler only let me have mine if I showed him my winkie! Was it like that for you Mr The Hitch?

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