Friday, 6 April 2007

A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY




Do you know something , in all my 40 odd years on this planet , no one has ever brought me a chocolate easter egg......EVER.


When we were kids my parents couldnt afford it , but bless em they used to make a real effort with all these sorts of things , filling egg shells with Jelly and cornflake chocolate cakes and stuff , but chocolate eggs where off the menu as they were just too expensive .Then as you get older , all the chocolate goodies tend to be concentrated on the next generation of kids.

All I ever wanted was just one , wrapped in glittery foil , not bothered about it being filled with manky chocolate bars or wether it sitting bestride a cheap and nasty mug.

Did Jesus die on the cross so Beast could'nt have an egg......I dont think so , the heavenly throng are probably weeping at this hidious injustice(thats why it always rains at easter).



Its not good enough to go and buy your own, thats like kerb crawling , and likewise you cant just give someone the money to go and by one for you (pimping).

Its gotta be spontanious , and its probably never going to happen :-( .


So enjoy your easter breaks one and all , and spare a poor deprived Beast a thought as you sit chocolate besplattered, satiated and content.


Is there anything from your childhood that you never got that you still crave beyond reason today ???

18 comments:

Hammer said...

Sorry about the eggs, I never got them either, just the cheap ones that were filled with marshmallows.

I went to get myself a fancy cadbury egg with the thick chocolate shell and the filling that looks like a egg yolk, but decided paying $2.50 for one piece of candy ws kind of stupid.

I'm going to steal some from the kids easter basket ;)

BEAST said...

Well done hammer , showing the true spirit of easter !
Them damn kids get all the bloody goodies
Harumph

First Nations said...

oh!
Here:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
...lil easter eggs, all chocolate, with windows you can look through made of sugar with a candy bunny AND a candy baby chicken inside.

..oo, yes! a Schwinn Phantom! to this day i see them and LUST.
stupid parents.

Lippy said...

A pony!

But never mind, I always swore I would buy one before I bought a car but that didn't quite work out. I did actually save enough money to buy my own pony at the age of 12 but this sent my mother into a flat panic and she banned them anyway. Which just convinced me for life that saving up for things is rubbish!

If I knew where you lived Beast I'd send you one of those Prestat eggs full of truffles.....but aren't we dieting love?

frobisher said...

I seem to remember buying you a Cadbury's Creme Egg the other year.

Or was that someone else?

Anonymous said...

AWWWWW watt a fucking shame boo fucking whooo! its a fucking easter egg! get over it you sad cunt!!

happy easter everyone :)

CUNTT

Anonymous said...

i bort him an easter egg!

;-)

mutleythedog said...

I got Mr B a real Pterodactyls egg- was he grateful? Not when it hatched!!

BEAST said...

I have TWO easter eggs now....... one even has a Barbie purse with it......Frobisher will be trying to filch(yes filch not felch) that later no doubt.
I am sat here with my foil wrapped glittering pretties , smeared in chocolate , a happy beast :-).
Now about that Porche 911 I never got !!!!!

BEAST said...

Mr Mutley , that egg made a very nice omlette.....a bit chewy , but once you picked the beak and claws out , it wasnt too bad

Anonymous said...

chocolate?
wow. this blows me away. see, for years i was told that it was the easter DOG.

Byron Chalver said...

I never got Alison Fewtrell. Mmmmmmmm Alison Fewtrell! And Francis Charles Mmmmmmmm Francis Charles!
Francis and Alison chewing each other's butt knots.

Excuse me.

mutleythedog said...

It was aimed to be a living present Mr B - not to be eaten....

BEAST said...

Anon - basically your an idiot.
Sorry but the beast is always harsh but fair.

Byron - thank you for sharing.....
now what the hells a butt knots , are they like a Dorset Knob (a local delicacy)???

Mutley - oooops , its not any more

MJ said...

A pogo stick.

Alas, there were no sidewalks where I lived.

The Hitch said...

The Hitch was spoilt only child and used to be deluged in easter eggs to the point where I was sick of the fuckers, you should have me let me know I would have posted you one.
Having said that I bought one for my mother this year and she got me jack shit , so I ate it.

mutleythedog said...

My Butler only let me have mine if I showed him my winkie! Was it like that for you Mr The Hitch?

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