Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Obviously I was being buttered up in the most shameless manner , but any child who doesnt learn this skill at an early age deserves to go hungry in my book.A little smarm goes a long way , even a old cumudgeon like Beast had to grumpily surrender to this infantile charm offensive.
Wraps made , plates dutifully dressed , Beast set off up the narrow staircase to Mr C's flat above Cafe C , half way up I had to manouver round a lethally placed dog bowl on one of the steps , holding one plate aloft , the other by my side , twisting and teetering like a demented flamenco dancer , muttering dark oaths about idiots leaving stuff on dark narrow stairs , where any reasonable chap could fall and break his neck , etc etc .
Too late I realised my error , the little swine Lloyd (Mr C's brindle staffy) was waiting , hidden , behind the landing rail .He shot out and snatched the wrap off the 'held aloft' plate and scarpered , leaving a trail of chillie chicken and mixed salad in his wake .
I am furious that I was ambushed by the canine fiend , and am convinced the whole bowl on the stairs mularkey was a carefully planned set up by a calculating criminal mastermind .
In other News , on Saturday night we had our first Cafe C fight .
You know how it is in any small town , posturing twenty something young men , limited supply of attractive young women, add drink ,Crap Bingo with Mavis , the heady aroma of Beasts chocolate fountain and a full moon to the swirling cloud of hormones and you have a powder keg waiting to blow.
The perpertrators were swiftly seperated by an enraged Mr C and frogmarched straight out the door and given a classic dressing down . You have let me down , worst of all let yourselves down and spoiled everyones evening (Especially the birthday girl who ended up with a full glass of red wine tipped iinto her ample cleavage) etc etc ,following a verbal mauling they were eventually sent skulking off into the night under the baleful glare of mine host....Bless.
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