Tuesday, 16 February 2010

ITS A DOGS LIFE

Mr C informs me that The Baby Jesus  is so impressed with his hard work and selfless support of dead wood like myself that a holy decree has been issued demanding that Mr C takes a Pilgramage immediatley to recharge his saintlyness and commune with the angels , James was to accompany him on this spiritual journey to Ali Biceps Club Hanky Spanky in Istanbul and I was to atone for my multitude of sins by looking after the dogs .
As proof of this cannon law he was brandashing what looked suspiciously like a Cafe order  stating
Dear Beast .
Shut the fuck up ,and do what I say
or your doomed
Luv 
The Baby Jesus
               xx
Well I was mighty impressed 



So Beast finds himself once again in possesion of the hounds of hell . The last three days have been a whirl of walking , feeding , grooming and prizing treasured posessions from the very jaws of chewed oblivion. Lloyd also has terrible wind.
Alfie the larger of the dogs has taken to following me around as we approach dinner time with his teeth chattering in anticipation  , it sounds like casternets.
This has sparked a marvellous idea , with a little choreography , stamping , shouting and much mularkey with a fan , I feel the next 'Crap Bingo with Mavis' could be a very different affair

16 comments:

MJ said...

OMG! The stinky duvet is on your couch in full view of the camera!

*gasps and passes out*

MJ said...

*dons gas mask and rushes in briefly to spray room liberally with Febreze to make it safe for others*

Ponita in Real Life said...

Please video record the performance and post it on youtube!

eroswings said...

Careful Beast! Your prodigy might outshine Mavis, and I don't think she'll take too kindly to being upstaged!

Scarlet Blue said...

You scrub up well, Mr Beastie.
Is the frock from Littlewoods?
Sx

MJ said...

Off-topic: Tazzy and Piggy are closing their blog.

I am inconsolable.

BEAST said...

MJ said...
OMG! The stinky duvet is on your couch in full view of the camera!

*gasps and passes out*
*dons gas mask and rushes in briefly to spray room liberally with Febreze to make it safe for others*
You girls make such a fuss
****wafts Duvet at MJ ****

BEAST said...

Ponita in Real Life said...
Please video record the performance and post it on youtube!
The hound probably has an agent who will slap an injunction on me ,Frobisher obviously desperate for the exposure

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Careful Beast! Your prodigy might outshine Mavis, and I don't think she'll take too kindly to being upstaged!
It could result in murder on the dance floor , I wonder how much damage can be done with a bingo ball

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
You scrub up well, Mr Beastie.
Is the frock from Littlewoods?
Thats the New Look Mavis Miss Scarlet , The Beast does not experiment with female attire

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Off-topic: Tazzy and Piggy are closing their blog.

I am inconsolable.
Oh dear Miss MJ , another one bites the dust :-(

Mu Tai Dong said...

Maybe we eat them soon - mus be nerly ready for dinner?

BEAST said...

Mu Tai Dong said...
Maybe we eat them soon - mus be nerly ready for dinner?

What a terrible thing to say Miss Mu . There is no meat on Alfie and Lloyd would taste ghastly

inkspot said...

"Alfie the larger of the dogs" - Beast they're both enormous, hounds of the Baskervilles, you must be more specific.

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
"Alfie the larger of the dogs" - Beast they're both enormous, hounds of the Baskervilles, you must be more specific
Inky , Alfie is the lighter coloured brute thats lying down , he is actually twice the size of the little bruiser Lloyd

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

Those dogs do look like evil beasties! Have they slaughtered birds and brought in their bloodied remains to daub on the walls of your house? beware

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