Wednesday, 10 February 2010

THE MORNING AFTER - PAULINES STORY

It was Friday night at Cafe C . The dreaded Ladies  Singles club had booked dinner for 10.
The staff at Cafe C live in terror of these events , as the ladies at best  are snappy and menopausal and at  worst bitter , drunk , snappy and menopausal  .
On such occasions it seems prudent to have an emergency supply of HRT patches ,  a mop and bucket  ,the samaritans hotline and the local roit police swat team on speed dial .
Singles club queen bee Pauline  had apparently had a very  bad week , and a raging thirst .
When a waspish Frobisher hit the stage for Crap Bingo with Mavis , things soon turned ugly .

Miss P spent the rest of the evening stumbling about insulting and abusing anyone or anything that crossed her path........she was not a happy woman .
Eventually she was carted off by her mates , unceremoniously dumped in a taxi , clutching a sick bucket between her knees (Thoughfully supplied by Cafe C....we always go that extra mile) and waved off with an enormous sigh of relief  on our part and a look of pure terror for the poor taxi driver.
One can only imagine the poor womans horror the next morning as memories began crashing through the blinding hangover and friends huffed and cold shouldered exploritory phone calls.
To her credit she ventured out on Sunday , I would guess in  shamed disguise , and posted a rather sweet card of apology to all the staff at Cafe C. I for one almost feel sorry for the Ghastly old bag :-).

24 comments:

MJ said...

Regarding that sick bucket you keep by your bed...

That's stolen property from Cafe C, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

i hope not, i dont want to be haveing to dostrip searches, with my calfing gloves.... mind you im glad she did it i got away with eing very fucking rude, as well as the super star mavis boyle....

可憐 said...

忙碌的一天終於過了,來看看文章轉換心情,也幫你加個油哦~ ..................................................

Princess said...

Sounds like Cafe C continues to provide it's usual exquisite fare of patron participation.
What a marvelous nights entertainment.

Scarlet Blue said...

as the ladies at best are snappy and menopausal and at worst bitter , drunk , snappy and menopausal

...oh you wait... your turn will come...
Sx

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Regarding that sick bucket you keep by your bed...

That's stolen property from Cafe C, isn't it?

Its a fair cop Miss MJ . 'Liberating' things is a little hobby of mine
Property is theft....blah blah blah

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
i hope not, i dont want to be haveing to dostrip searches, with my calfing gloves.... mind you im glad she did it i got away with eing very fucking rude, as well as the super star mavis boyle....

Mavis and Pauline were seperated at birth , a right pair so to speak

BEAST said...

可憐 said...
忙碌的一天終於過了,來看看文章轉換心情,也幫你加個油哦
Mr Pitiful . Dont be ridiculous , that would get very slippery

BEAST said...

Princess said...
Sounds like Cafe C continues to provide it's usual exquisite fare of patron participation.
What a marvelous nights entertainment.

Princess . It is certainly never boring

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
as the ladies at best are snappy and menopausal and at worst bitter , drunk , snappy and menopausal

...oh you wait... your turn will come...
Oh no it wont :-)))
***slaps fresh HRT patches on Miss Scarlet and Miss MJ

MJ said...

I believe he is already going through The Change, Miss Scarlet.

KAZ said...

Miss P lives in Manchester - I saw her walking down Market Street this morning.
A bit difficult to assess her state of well-being though.

eroswings said...

The trials and tribulations of the service industry...

Well, at least she apologized. Next time, cut her off before she gets rowdy--or give her something to put her to sleep!

Scarlet Blue said...

Well Mistress MJ, let's hope it's a change for the better...
Clean socks and pants would be a start...
Sx

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I believe he is already going through The Change, Miss Scarlet.

Pfffffffffffffft

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
Miss P lives in Manchester - I saw her walking down Market Street this morning.
A bit difficult to assess her state of well-being though.

If she wasn't falling over or cussing innocent bystanders we can assume she was at least sober Miss Kaz. However I would caution keeping a sharp eye as the woman can 'Turn' in the blink of an eye

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
The trials and tribulations of the service industry...
Its always a pleasure :-(

Well, at least she apologized. Next time, cut her off before she gets rowdy--or give her something to put her to sleep!
One would have thought the 15 glasses of wine she poured down her thraot would have put the baggage to sleep , but sadly not

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
Well Mistress MJ, let's hope it's a change for the better...
Clean socks and pants would be a start...

My socks are always clean and pants are for wimps....so there!

MJ said...

Miss Scarlet: Haven't you noticed lately that Beast keeps saying, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

Scarlet Blue said...

I have noticed. I have also noticed that he carries a large fan with him where ever he goes [no, it is not Mr Frobi] - it is made of peacock feathers and is encrusted with emeralds and crusty peas. He likes to peer over it in a beguiling suggestive manner.
He is definitely on the change.
Sx

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Miss P reminds me somewhat of Pauline Campbell-Jones from The League of Gentlemen. Only, not so lesbian...

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Miss Scarlet: Haven't you noticed lately that Beast keeps saying, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

You are right Miss MJ , I am looking particularly hot at the moment

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
I have noticed. I have also noticed that he carries a large fan with him where ever he goes [no, it is not Mr Frobi] - it is made of peacock feathers and is encrusted with emeralds and crusty peas. He likes to peer over it in a beguiling suggestive manner.
He is definitely on the change.

One doesnt have time for such fripperies Miss Scarlet , being Dorchesters favourite beefcake chef takes time and application

BEAST said...

Inexplicable DeVice said...
Miss P reminds me somewhat of Pauline Campbell-Jones from The League of Gentlemen. Only, not so lesbian...

You have hit the nail squarely on its head Mr IVD , Pauline Campbell-Jones is spot on

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