Monday, 8 February 2010

NEEDS MUST........

In more affluent times The Beast Liar was a three dyson household , an upstairs one , a downstairs one and a spare .
A succession of disasters soon thinned the herd . Firstly Mr C  kidnapped one of them . When faced with the unspeakable cleaning tasks of Mr C's former residence, Mincer Cottage , the poor thing exploded . The Beast was straight round and harvested its 'organs'.
The upstairs dyson began ailing almost imediatley and wheezed asmatically to an early end at the local dump . Its bits were whipped out and off before the smoking motor had cooled.  

As number three began to pine and falter the Beast retired to his shed . Late into the night , hammering , muttering and screamed oaths could be heard until finally , one dark and stormy night , with a final exaltation of
ITS ALIVE MWA HA HA HA HA  

FrankenDyson was released into the world
Much could be said of the FrankenDyson , and I am sure a few of my dear readers will identify with this all encompasing description........
It may not be pretty but it sure can suck !
No Offence intended :-)



14 comments:

Princess said...

Dear Mr Beast,

I had no idea that Dysonorgan Harvesting was on the menu.

You have managed to create a super sucker.

eroswings said...

So long as it gets the job done satisfactorily!

Excellent work on putting it all together.

inkspot said...

Yes I've seen that on youporn.

BEAST said...

Princess said...
Dear Mr Beast,

I had no idea that Dysonorgan Harvesting was on the menu.

You have managed to create a super sucker.

Dear Princess , in these bleak financial times , one has to strive to make ends meet :-(

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
So long as it gets the job done satisfactorily!
Bits do tend to drop off at inconvenient times Mr E

Excellent work on putting it all together.
Where theres a will there's a way , and failing that a good few wacks with a hammer is the 'Mot du Jour'

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Yes I've seen that on youporn.

Doing some 'research' are we Inky ???

Scarlet Blue said...

I want one!!!
Sx

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
I want one!!!

Indeed Miss S , its a lifestyle statement and no mistake

mutleythedog said...

Unfortunately this does not work with nuclear reactors as I found out in an early career mistake...

KAZ said...

You are a better Dysoner than Dyson himself.
His are rubbish.
This is a thing of beauty.

MJ said...

What?

No mention of its flexible crevice tool and maneuverable ball?

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Unfortunately this does not work with nuclear reactors as I found out in an early career mistake...
I would put it down to youthful enthusiasm Mr M at least it put Chernobyl on the map , I bet they are thanking you now . How are your cold fusion with beetroot experiments going ???

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
You are a better Dysoner than Dyson himself.
His are rubbish.
This is a thing of beauty.

Why thank you Miss Kaz. The poor battered old thing is barely holding together , buts its nothing a bit of gaffer tape wont fix

BEAST said...

MJ said...
What?
What ?
No mention of its flexible crevice tool and maneuverable ball?
The flexible Crevice tool and ball both fell victim to that canine fiend Lloyd as did my James Bond Stylee leather swivel chair :-(

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