Friday, 13 February 2009

VIRGO'S ARE INSANE





















UPDATED : Beasts Perfect Poached egg using the method that was buggered up by the virgo and detailed below ;- now read the original post .......





No point being coy , we at Beastbite call a spade a spade .


If you have a Virgo in your life you will know exactly what I mean , do not think you have escaped SAGITTARIANS, we will get to you later .


Ma Beasty is a big old Virgo , one of her current obsessions is producing the perfect poached eggs for multiple diners.


If any Virgo's reading this would like to stop at this point and have a little obsess , feel free just join us for a bit of character assassination when your ready


Not a difficult task , other more stable zodiac signs may cry , but cry in vain you must .


See now, where most of us would do a little research on the interwebs , ask friends , look in books.Formulate a plan and give it a go. It will either work or it won't no worries .


A Virgo will do the extensive research , select a method , then decide they know better (as Virgos are pathalogically unable to follow simple instructions without 'over thinking' the whole damn thing ), add a few bizarre steps to the proscribed method , because lets face it Virgo's know best , try it ,not surprisingly it will all go horribly wrong . This will be swiftly followed by much stressing , adding of even more bizarre and fangled steps to the method , more stressing and eventually the fickle finger of stress , fate and blame will wildly alight upon YOU , oh innocent bystander.


It will all be your fault , and as you stand there , bemused , smarting from a sudden and vicious tongue lashing with molten poached egg dripping off your head and a slammed door and vile curses ricocheting in the silent kitchen , wondering W T F just happened.


Poor Pa Beasty , experienced such an afternoon , and is squarely blaming ME , for finding what was touted as The Perfect and simple method for producing multiple poached eggs simultaniously and goading Ma Beasty into action.


Perfect and Simple that is till a virgo got hold of it.


Have a nice weekend Pa Beasty.......Mwa Ha Ha Ha HA


Oh and Sagittarians are MUCH WORSE

54 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

So how do you poach an egg - do you just nick them from the chickens?
Sx

Gorilla Bananas said...

Always playing the innocent victim, Beast. I bet you were looking over her shoulder making sardonic remarks.

MJ said...

It's always somebody else's fault, isn't it?

It's not like Taureans are blameless.

KAZ said...

Thank God I was born 'on the cusp'. Painful yes - but I missed being a Virgo by 10 hours.
So - I have no interest in the perfect poached egg - but I can do the 'tongue lashing' bit.

FirstNations said...

my daughter is a virgo...
my son is a saggitarius...

me?

I'm DOOMED.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Merciful heaven.. what was you thinking of entering into a kitchen? It's a womans domain! Unless your after wanting a beer from the fridge... stay oot!

inkspot said...

"Adding a few bizarre steps to the proscribed method..."Those proscriptions used to get you burnt at the stake.

Beast, were you ever burnt at the stake? Or did they just stick to ordinary burning?

UBERMOUTH said...

I am a Gemini. Consider yourself lucky!

scarlet-blue said...

Ha! Mr Inky is a nit-picking Virgo!
Sx

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
So how do you poach an egg - do you just nick them from the chickens?
Much mularkey with boiling water , clingfilm and a cup Miss Scarlet , its something your domestic staff do in the kitchen while your not looking

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Always playing the innocent victim, Beast. I bet you were looking over her shoulder making sardonic remarks.
I was not foolish enough to be there Mr B , I simply made Ma Beastie aware of the method via email and left poor Pa Beastie to face the music

BEAST said...

MJ said...
It's always somebody else's fault, isn't it?
YES
It's not like Taureans are blameless.
Don't be ridiculous , just ask fellow Tuarean Miss First Nations if you dont believe me

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
Thank God I was born 'on the cusp'. Painful yes - but I missed being a Virgo by 10 hours.
So - I have no interest in the perfect poached egg - but I can do the 'tongue lashing' bit.
That was a lucky escape Miss Kaz

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
my daughter is a virgo...
my son is a saggitarius...

me?

I'm DOOMED.
Yes , I am afraid you are
There is no escape :-(

BEAST said...

Jimmy Bastard said...
Merciful heaven.. what was you thinking of entering into a kitchen? It's a womans domain! Unless your after wanting a beer from the fridge... stay oot!
I trained as a chef Mr B , so i am allowed by law to anter any kitchen in the land and criticise

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
"Adding a few bizarre steps to the proscribed method..."Those proscriptions used to get you burnt at the stake.

Beast, were you ever burnt at the stake? Or did they just stick to ordinary burning?
Its a fair cop Mr Inky , I typo'd the word , which should have been prescribed not proscribed . So Mr Inky wins the Beastbite Girly Swot of the week award

BEAST said...

UBERMOUTH said...
I am a Gemini. Consider yourself lucky!
You have our sympathy Miss Uber . Being one girly is probably bad enough , but having two of you in there must be a nightmare , how do you ever decide what shoes to wear ???

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Ha! Mr Inky is a nit-picking Virgo!
Now Now Miss Scarlet , maybe he was experimenting with virgo tendencies , its perfectly natural

inkspot said...

Excuse me, I don't just pick the nits off the virgos, I purify them. But they have to ask nicely.

CyberPete said...

I'm none of that.

Also I am just delightful, but you all know this.

scarlet-blue said...

I bet Mr Inky is a Virgo...
Anyhow, does poached egg taste any different to boiled egg?
I've never eaten a poached egg.
Sx

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Excuse me, I don't just pick the nits off the virgos, I purify them. But they have to ask nicely.
I am sure they do Inky , good manners and indeed good grooming are key

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
I'm none of that.
Are you a big virgo in denial Pete ????
Also I am just delightful, but you all know this.

Indeed you are :-)

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
I bet Mr Inky is a Virgo...
Anyhow, does poached egg taste any different to boiled egg?
I've never eaten a poached egg.

Miss Scarlet , wow you have never had a poached in in you whole life
Thats freaky
and no an eggs an egg , it doesnt taste much different , just a softer texture

scarlet-blue said...

Happy Valentine's weekend Mr Beastie!
Sx

Daisy said...

my twin sisters are virgos...they drive me nuts at times...you described them to a tee...however, i am a perfect libra and know that i do the same to them...

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Happy Valentine's weekend Mr Beastie!
And to you Miss Scarlet , are you gorging on chocolates and old movies ??

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
my twin sisters are virgos...they drive me nuts at times...you described them to a tee...however, i am a perfect libra and know that i do the same to them...
Blimey twin virgo's....double trouble Daisy , one can only imagine

tyt said...

サイト制作
秋葉原 メイド
ペット火葬 つくば
つくば ペット火葬
つくば ペット霊園
つくば ペット葬儀
立食パーティー用プレート
でしこ
soul source production
ベトナム シーフード
高収入 アルバイト
高収入 アルバイト
アパレル 求人
アパレル 派遣
人妻 出会い
風俗
風俗
デリヘル
アダルトゲーム
高収入求人
高収入求人
ソープランド
性感マッサージ 名古屋
M性感 名古屋
出会い
I wish you always happy and success in your life.
Thanks for sharing!
Best regards!

BEAST said...

Well Thank You for sharing Tit

Ms Smack said...

I LOVE POACHED EGGS, but they can be a pain to make.

Boil a saucepan, and have it BUBBLING before swirling the water around and cracking an egg into it!

Then, let it simmer for a bit, watch the consistency and scoop it out!

Or, buy a poacher :)

Poached eggs are worth the hassle.

They're great over cooked spinach, and ham on toast.

ps. I quite like Virgos. I'm a Taurus and find myself quite compatible with them.

BEAST said...

This method Miss Smack is quite easy , slap a square of clingfilm into a cup , clinfilm should be big enough for the edges to hang over , crack your egg into the clingfilm and then gather up the edges and twist together , like a clingfilm sack holind your egg . Drop this into the boiling water and cook for 4 to 5 minutes . The clingfilm does come off , but the egg has already set in shape , so you get a perfectly shaped eggs without losing most of the white . Easy method to use if you are doing multiple eggs at one time , without all the swirling and icing/reheating

BEAST said...

I too am a Taurus and am usually fairly understanding of Virgos ....until they 'go into one'

CyberPete said...

No. I'm a Libra.

We are the most well balanced and wonderful.

BEAST said...

Well balanced pfffffffffffft
Indecisive more like :-)

FirstNations said...

face it, without the constant good example and rock-steady guidance of us taureans, the rest of you dippy signs would be running around like chickens with your heads cut off. the only was you could pick the virgos out of the chaos would be to note which ones were scarlet with hysteria, simultaneously attempting to make lists and attack anything within reach with a chainsaw, all the while wearing mj's underpants on their heads.

CyberPete said...

Hahaha you are actually quite right. I couldn't make a decision to save my life.

I am getting better though.

Frobisher said...

I like poached eggs - but I've never been a fan of the "swirling boiling water method".

Buy yourself a egg poacher - I like them on smoked haddock

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
face it, without the constant good example and rock-steady guidance of us taureans, the rest of you dippy signs would be running around like chickens with your heads cut off. the only was you could pick the virgos out of the chaos would be to note which ones were scarlet with hysteria, simultaneously attempting to make lists and attack anything within reach with a chainsaw, all the while wearing mj's underpants on their heads.
Thats it in a nutshell Miss First Nations . I had wondered in the astrology descriptions what conjunction with uranus meant..... that must be the MJ's underpants bit

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Hahaha you are actually quite right. I couldn't make a decision to save my life.
The great mystic all seeing Beast knows these things

I am getting better though.
You could try putting MJ's underpants on your head ??

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
I like poached eggs - but I've never been a fan of the "swirling boiling water method".

Buy yourself a egg poacher - I like them on smoked haddock
Recoils in horror , them damn things are not propper poached eggs Mr F , thats more a coddled egg , they gotta have some contact with the water

CyberPete said...

That's disgusting! You know where they've been.

I don't want to risk catching some hideous disease or infection.

BEAST said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BEAST said...

***Chases Pete brandishing MJ's Lnickers ***

FirstNations said...

and remember, she's canadian. whatever else bioactivity they have going on, they smell like cheese fo sho.

BE AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID.

*RUNS*

MJ said...

I am SO GLAD I'm not the Zodiac sign of ANY of you!

Now give me back my knickers!

CyberPete said...

Give the old witch back her knickers.

Ew Beastie get away from me. Someone heeeeeeeeeelp!

scarlet-blue said...

I think Tyt was trying to tell us something?
Sx

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I am SO GLAD I'm not the Zodiac sign of ANY of you!
Ooooh what sign are you Miss MJ
Now give me back my knickers!
***sets fire to MJ's skimpies and flings them back***

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Give the old witch back her knickers.

Ew Beastie get away from me. Someone heeeeeeeeeelp!

There is no escape from the cheesey knickers of doom Pete

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
and remember, she's canadian. whatever else bioactivity they have going on, they smell like cheese fo sho.

BE AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID.

*RUNS*

Hides Cheesey Knickers of Doom under FN's Sofa cushions

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
I think Tyt was trying to tell us something?

Miss Scarlet . I translated Tyt's ramblings in Babelfish . The only one that worked was japanese to English and that translated to a load of unreadeable nonsense about BBQing pets or somesuch

UBERMOUTH said...

I wear one of each!
I'm also Pipi Longstocking.

* And you thought you had problms.

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