Tuesday, 3 February 2009

FROZEN EXTREMETIES



















Welcome to Beasties Winter Wonderland . My poor tropicals are looking a bit sorry for themselves , but I will give them a good dose of Gaskins Chicken poo when it warms up a bit .
Despite the media hype of Britain grinding to a halt , it was business as usual chez Beastly . I actually opted to walk in to work in a howling blizzard as we don't get snow very often and it was cold but beautiful.
***Beast straps on snow shoes and keeps a weather eye for ravening mooses***
I did try my Captain Oats gambit on staggering from work into the teeth of another blizzard
I am just popping out , I may be some time
***cries Beast posing by the open door, snow swirling heriocally around him***
I got a resounding Yeah Whatever
BASTARDS


66 comments:

MJ said...

Is 'Gaskins Chicken Poo' another name for 'Beasts Famed Onion Marmalade'?

MJ said...

Wait a minute...isn't that Mr. Mutley's bucket out there?

scarlet-blue said...

I will give them a good dose of Gaskins Chicken poo when it warms up a bit.

So are you warming up the chicken poo in your kitchen? Surely this will stink more than the onion marmalade?
Sx

Gorilla Bananas said...

I can tell you like the cold, Beast. If you really want to prove your hardiness, why not roll about naked in your snowy garden? Send the pictures to MJ, I have no wish to see them.

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Is 'Gaskins Chicken Poo' another name for 'Beasts Famed Onion Marmalade'?
Its straw and chicken poo from their chicken run Miss MJ
Honestly these colonials are a bit thick

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Wait a minute...isn't that Mr. Mutley's bucket out there?
Possession is 9/10th of the law

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
I will give them a good dose of Gaskins Chicken poo when it warms up a bit.

So are you warming up the chicken poo in your kitchen? Surely this will stink more than the onion marmalade?
Oh lord
Its easier just to agree isnt it
YES Miss Scarlet I am warming the chicken poo in the kitchen , I am now living in the shed becuase of the smell

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
I can tell you like the cold, Beast. If you really want to prove your hardiness, why not roll about naked in your snowy garden? Send the pictures to MJ, I have no wish to see them.
I dont hold with rolling naked in ones garden Mr B , sounds like the sort of thing they would do in Southend on Sea , and we all KNOW what sort live there

scarlet-blue said...

Steady... I have lived in Southend -on-Sea... well actually it was Leigh-on-Sea...
Anyhow... is the shed the building behind the fun-house mirror?
Sx

Jimmy Bastard said...

Sweet Jaysus.. is this not fighting talk? "Yeah Whatever
BASTARDS"

savannah said...

oh my, sugar! that looks gorgeously horrible! i can not abide snow! xox

FirstNations said...

HA I say. You think that is snow? That was BULLSHIT!!! That was WEAK!! That was buttercream fricken' frosting! Away with your so called snow which has the brain of a duck you know! HA UPON YOUR GARDEN SNOWINGS I HAVING LAUGH!!!! you get 7 ft. snowdrifts and winos frozen to the pavement in their own piss then I'll grant you some damn snow. until then go boil your bottom you silly englisher person.

FirstNations said...

...yes. I have JEERED YOUR SNOW.

yes I have.

FirstNations said...

..I did.

FirstNations said...

your snow is pathetic.

Ponita said...

Yeah! What Nations said...

And drop the temperature by about 40C.... then you got snow and cold....

Wussies....

inkspot said...

OK, Beast, I'll bite: wtf is that square-ish yellow thing at the end of your garden, and what is the shiny silver thing in front of it? Oh, and when I say yellow, I mean pee-coloured.

I like your snow-covered breakfast table, set with a single enormous coffee cup. Breakfast chez Beast is obviously a generous and solitary affair. And cold, whatever your North American visitors might say. Yes, Chicago, Toronto etc have unspeakable winters, so why live there?

eroswings said...

The fotos are beautiful! That's the way snow should be! A light dusting that makes everything looks crisp, clean, and charming.

You should've hurled snowballs at those uncaring bastards.

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Steady... I have lived in Southend -on-Sea... well actually it was Leigh-on-Sea...
Anyhow... is the shed the building behind the fun-house mirror?
Are you an Essex Girl Miss Scarlet ???
The shed is in the second picture , its blue and to the left of the water feature/fun house mirror

BEAST said...

Jimmy Bastard said...
Sweet Jaysus.. is this not fighting talk? "Yeah Whatever
BASTARDS"
Its sure is Mr B , they will all get theirs on some dark night , dont you worry
***yoys with tyre Iron

BEAST said...

savannah said...
oh my, sugar! that looks gorgeously horrible! i can not abide snow! xox
I love a bit of snow Miss Savannah , but we dont get it very often

CyberPete said...

You never turn down a snow day. Ever!

Fool.

MJ said...

*chimes in with FN*

Your snow is pathetic!

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
HA I say. You think that is snow? That was BULLSHIT!!! That was WEAK!! That was buttercream fricken' frosting! Away with your so called snow which has the brain of a duck you know! HA UPON YOUR GARDEN SNOWINGS I HAVING LAUGH!!!! you get 7 ft. snowdrifts and winos frozen to the pavement in their own piss then I'll grant you some damn snow. until then go boil your bottom you silly englisher person.
04 February 2009 00:23

FirstNations said...
...yes. I have JEERED YOUR SNOW.

yes I have.
04 February 2009 00:24

FirstNations said...
..I did.
Pfffffffffft
Oh behave
Nanook of the frozen north has spoken

MJ said...

Try to keep up with the comments as they come in, please.

MJ said...

That is what you call a "dusting" of snow.

You don't know snow.

BEAST said...

Ponita said...
Yeah! What Nations said...

And drop the temperature by about 40C.... then you got snow and cold....

Wussies....
Ha
The girls are ganging up

MJ said...

We the nation of Canuckistan scoff at your fear of a light flakiness on your funhouse mirror.

MJ said...

Why do you need a funhouse mirror when all you need to do is look in a regular mirror and you will just naturally appear misshapen?

MJ said...

Snow.

Pfffffftttttt.

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
OK, Beast, I'll bite: wtf is that square-ish yellow thing at the end of your garden, and what is the shiny silver thing in front of it? Oh, and when I say yellow, I mean pee-coloured.
Its a retro Essex Chic water feature Mr I
I like your snow-covered breakfast table, set with a single enormous coffee cup. Breakfast chez Beast is obviously a generous and solitary affair. And cold, whatever your North American visitors might say. Yes, Chicago, Toronto etc have unspeakable winters, so why live there?
Oh lord Inky this will be like a red rag to a bull for all these catawalling frosty maidens that are currently jeering on the Beasts blog .... let the screaming and shouting commence

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
The fotos are beautiful! That's the way snow should be! A light dusting that makes everything looks crisp, clean, and charming.

You should've hurled snowballs at those uncaring bastards.
Thank you Mr E , luckily my garden being enclosed got off fairly lightly

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
You never turn down a snow day. Ever!

Fool.
It was nice and warm at work CP and I get to play with my chums all day :-)

MJ said...

Chums?

Your imaginary friends, more like.

BEAST said...

MJ said...
We the nation of Canuckistan scoff at your fear of a light flakiness on your funhouse mirror.

MJ said...
Why do you need a funhouse mirror when all you need to do is look in a regular mirror and you will just naturally appear misshapen?

MJ said...
Snow.

Pfffffftttttt.
Pfffft indeed Miss MJ
would you like to romp nekkid in my lush tropical plantings Miss MJ
I bet you would

BEAST said...

Chums?

Your imaginary friends, more like.

Someone is in a bad mood

scarlet-blue said...

I am an honorary Essex girl Mr Beastie.
You have logs... I have log pile envy...
Sx

Frobisher said...

Well I have been snowed in for the last two days, and to top it all the Binmen never came to empty the bins yesterday!

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
I am an honorary Essex girl Mr Beastie.
You have logs... I have log pile envy...

Thats only the log pile you can see Miss Scarlet , there is another one hidden from view
***flaunts logs at Miss Scarlet ***

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Well I have been snowed in for the last two days, and to top it all the Binmen never came to empty the bins yesterday!

I can only imagine how lethal these icy coditions are in slingbacks Mr F , I suggest you stay put until at least April , they may come and empty your bins by then

MJ said...

*throws Frobi's slingbacks at Beast's head*

MJ said...

AND his wig!

BEAST said...

Oh Lord
***peers myopicly***
Is that Miss MJ or a rotweiler in a brushed nylon baby doll nightie ???

Ponita said...

Winterpeg has winters much more severe than the like of Chicago or Toronto... And we can deal with it.

Toronto had to call in the National Guard one year because of some 'snow'.... pussies.... we have never called in the National Guard. We just haul out the snowmobiles and leave all the cars buried.

Your little dusting of flakes we've had in mid-August.... and thought nothing of romping half nekkid in it!

Pffft back to you, Mr Beast!

BEAST said...

Ponita. We only get snow about once every 10 years , so its all quite exciting

Ponita said...

Well, I hope it lasts long enough for you to enjoy it, Mr Beast.

If you want more, I will try to arrange for some of our winter to be sent your way.... gladly!

BEAST said...

Ponita , I think we are going to cop it again for the weekend , something nasty heading our way from France (A pox on the French ! )

Inexplicable DeVice said...

What a load of fuss and nonsense. Still, we'd best moan about it while we can - It may be the last snow we ever get, what with global warming and all. Actually, that may be yet another load of fuss and nonsense...

The Old Tarf said...

Be careful of taking a leak by a cold bit of iron pipe.

Nasty weather my old friend.

FirstNations said...

i am still jeering your snow which is the fluff on a baby's butt compared to the truly AWESOME SNOWAL PRECIPABUNDANCE of superior American Snow, but I am doing it from a hidden bunker which is my cool, cool fort and is secret. we have donuts too.

BEAST said...

Inexplicable DeVice said...
What a load of fuss and nonsense. Still, we'd best moan about it while we can - It may be the last snow we ever get, what with global warming and all. Actually, that may be yet another load of fuss and nonsense...

I dont belive all the hype about global warming , it doesnt add up in my book , and Al Gores lot have been lying about the temperatures since 1997 apparently and where only caught out when they claimed october was the warmest since records began as record lows and blizzards swept the midwest . Your right Mr IVd a whole load of fuss and nonsense

BEAST said...

The Old Tarf said...
Be careful of taking a leak by a cold bit of iron pipe.

Nasty weather my old friend
Luckily I do have inside plumbing Tarf :-) , the weather is not so bad , I love snow so I am all excited
**hops about from one leg to the other **

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
i am still jeering your snow which is the fluff on a baby's butt compared to the truly AWESOME SNOWAL PRECIPABUNDANCE of superior American Snow, but I am doing it from a hidden bunker which is my cool, cool fort and is secret. we have donuts too.

I am going to raid you fort and steal your donuts
so there
***sticks colander on head and does karate kicks and cooool kung fu stuff ***

Daisy said...

*sends beast a warm quilt to keep his extremities warm*

BEAST said...

Thanks Daisy much appreciated

MJ said...

The quilt is stinky already.

BEAST said...

Just to let you know its snowing again Miss MJ
***waits for screaming and shouting to start from the Canadian Coven ***

MJ said...

Go outside immediately and write your name in the snow...with your pee!

It is an ancient Canadian custom amongst the menfolk.

Do it and post the photograph.

BEAST said...

It is an ancient Canadian custom amongst the menfolk.
One would never participate in such unseemly behaviour Miss MJ . One has ones reputation to concider

scarlet-blue said...

Oh go on....
Sx

The Old Tarf said...

We just say "Do not eat the Yellow Snow."

Indoor plumbing must be one of those mod coms I hear about in the paper. As I freeze my butt sitting in my igloo at night, hoping the Polar Bears do not want take out.

UBERMOUTH said...

Is that a half full glass of some boosey drink at the bottom of your garden?

UBERMOUTH said...

Frosty bitches listen up- I have lived in Canada and here in Beastlyland. Our snow is horrendous because we don't have snow tires, nor salt for the roads. We are not equipped to deal wit 3 flakes and a leaf fallen on the railway tracks halts all rail travel.
So, yes 5 inches of snow IS a national emergency! I have been snowed in for a week!

* That'll tell 'em, Beastly.

** Skiis off.

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Oh go on....
Shant
so there

BEAST said...

The Old Tarf said...
We just say "Do not eat the Yellow Snow."

Indoor plumbing must be one of those mod coms I hear about in the paper. As I freeze my butt sitting in my igloo at night, hoping the Polar Bears do not want take out.
Ha says you in your swanky lakeside condo :-)

BEAST said...

UBERMOUTH said...
Is that a half full glass of some boosey drink at the bottom of your garden?
I doubt it uber I dont drink these days
UBERMOUTH said...
Frosty bitches listen up- I have lived in Canada and here in Beastlyland. Our snow is horrendous because we don't have snow tires, nor salt for the roads. We are not equipped to deal wit 3 flakes and a leaf fallen on the railway tracks halts all rail travel.
So, yes 5 inches of snow IS a national emergency! I have been snowed in for a week!

* That'll tell 'em, Beastly.
Indeed that should tell em , I shall just stand here holding your coats when the cat fight commences

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