Wednesday, 11 February 2009

AMOROUS AMPHIBIANS


We have had pretty vile weather over the last couple of weeks culminating in good old mother nature emptying her bloated bladder all over the hapless inhabitants of Dorset , we had a whole months worth of rainfall in one sodden day.
Not much fun for us soggy mammals , seemingly works like viagra on the amphibians tho, as I discovered when I crept out on the patio to have a cigarette and almost slipped arse over tit on a couple of copulating frogs , the flippery amphibian kind not the ghastly french kind I may add.
Now your average frog doesn't go in for wild energetic shagging as such ,one just sits on top of the other one and looks a bit bored .
However I was a bit alarmed that they seemed to have positioned themselves to get a good view of the Beast thru the patio doors during this coitial encounter.
While being an object of desire during the normal course of events is a heavy burden indeed ,
****stops to sigh meanigfully***
Being a fantasy figure during HOT FROG SEX is almost to much to bear
***collapses decorously on leather sofa***

25 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

one just sits on top of the other one and looks a bit bored.

Hmmmm... sounds familiar...
Sx

MJ said...

Being a fantasy figure during HOT FROG SEX is almost to much to bear

Don't flatter yourself.

They probably thought they were seeing their reflections in you, what with all the warts and all.

Gorilla Bananas said...

They obviously needed you to watch them to stay excited, Beast. I will henceforth use the word "frogging" instead of "dogging".

Jimmy Bastard said...

I wonder if they ever indulge in toe sucking with their rather unfortunate webbed feet?

We know they indulge in oral pleasures, hence the expression "Their's a frog in my throat!"

MJ said...

Where are you, anyway?

Have your croaked?

Har!

BEAST said...

Miss scarlet , for some reason it woont copy your comment .
Are you an adept at HOT FROG SEX
MJ said...
Being a fantasy figure during HOT FROG SEX is almost to much to bear
Its a huge burden Miss MJ

Don't flatter yourself.
Someone has to Miss MJ
They probably thought they were seeing their reflections in you, what with all the warts and all
The Beast is all things to all people (and amphibians)

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
They obviously needed you to watch them to stay excited, Beast. I will henceforth use the word "frogging" instead of "dogging".

Frogging is something you do with silk Mr B , they didnt look very excited , it has to be said

BEAST said...

Jimmy Bastard said...
I wonder if they ever indulge in toe sucking with their rather unfortunate webbed feet?

We know they indulge in oral pleasures, hence the expression "Their's a frog in my throat!"

I am suprised there isnt a blockage of some kind named after Old Knudsen

BEAST said...

Where are you, anyway?

Have your croaked?

Har!

Sitting on the sofa , why where are you .
With jokes like that is it any wonder you are not a frog icon like meself

inkspot said...

I googled "hot frog sex". Beast, you only come in at no. 2. No. 1 didn't mention frogs at all; it was a lousy cheating porn site.

So morally Beast wins. Hooray!

MJ said...

Inky: I really don't see how there are any winners in this.

It's all very sordid, really.

CyberPete said...

Oh my!

So the question on everyone's lips.

Did you to a little striptease to further this wild frog lovin'?

scarlet-blue said...

He'd been trying on his new spandex bodysuit, Pete.
Sx

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
I googled "hot frog sex". Beast, you only come in at no. 2. No. 1 didn't mention frogs at all; it was a lousy cheating porn site.

So morally Beast wins. Hooray!

Thats the sort of research we expect from you Inky , this makes me like a world expert then

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Inky: I really don't see how there are any winners in this.

It's all very sordid, really.
Thats just sour grapes Miss MJ. One just has to accept frog lust as a compliment and try and muddle through

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Oh my!

So the question on everyone's lips.

Did you to a little striptease to further this wild frog lovin'?

Pete , Actually I was watching the telly , getting a lecture from Ma Beasty on messenger and talking to Mr C on the phone , maybe all this fevered multi tasking turns the frogs on

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
He'd been trying on his new spandex bodysuit, Pete.

What a hidious thought Miss Scarlet , I would look like a set of bagpipes :-(

savannah said...

so they were bored, not noisy little imps as they are here? groaning and croaking all during the night must be a southern thang, i guess, sugar...all the heat and humidity heah xoxo

BEAST said...

I did have a great big frog that liked a good croak of an evening .Sadly the hounds of hell Alfie and Lloyd came to stay , and I think Lloyd ate it :-(

Bass Ackwords said...

Amfibeeyans looks bored cause they ain't got no peenuss! That little feller is the boy frog and he is holdin' on fer dear life cause the huge female would just as soon eat him.

Mother Nature waited fer Raptiles 'for she thought up a peenuss and decided that sex could happen outside of doin' it in the water..so she had to come up with a water-tight egg that could also be laid on the land away from all them hungry critters in the pond.

Frogs have noisy sex but it don't make up fer not havin' a peenuss.

BEAST said...

Bass Ackwords said...
Amfibeeyans looks bored cause they ain't got no peenuss! That little feller is the boy frog and he is holdin' on fer dear life cause the huge female would just as soon eat him.

Mother Nature waited fer Raptiles 'for she thought up a peenuss and decided that sex could happen outside of doin' it in the water..so she had to come up with a water-tight egg that could also be laid on the land away from all them hungry critters in the pond.

Frogs have noisy sex but it don't make up fer not havin' a peenuss.

Bass , you seem to have thought this all thru
Which is possibly not a good thing

scarlet-blue said...

I've never kissed a frog. Just thought I'd mention that.
Sx

BEAST said...

The amphibian or French kind Miss Scarlet
We are Europeans after all so we are led to believe

The Old Tarf said...

Well they hopped right to it. Ribbit, Ribbit,

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