Saturday, 2 February 2008

COOKING UP A STORM !

Its been a whirlwind kinda week. On top of the normal grind of work , gym , cooking , shopping etc I have been beavering away with our very own Enfant Terrible Mr Cuntt, finalising his master plan to take the catering world by storm.




Does this describe your usual 'dining out' experience.
Well , do we have the answer to your prayers .
Oh yes!
Presenting for your delectation and delight.......




CAFE LA









If your looking for 'Nouvelle Cuisine' , sparrow's bollock sized dinners , drizzled with this , served on a bed of that, and scattered with shavings of the other.....
You can fuck right off.
Cafe La C specialises in LARGE PORTIONS




Yes Madam , Given 'mine host' is the redoubtable Brunette Bombshell Mr C , asking to see the chefs 'Specials' , may lead to sleepless nights.
Mr C's Jumbo sausage in cider (gedditttt????) has brought a smile to many a discerning customer's lips

Fresh Crabs Anyone ?????

Beastbite would like to wish Mr C all the best with this exciting project.
Eating out in Dorset may never be the same again !

29 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I hope Mr Cuntt knows that good nosh is not enough to make a venture like this succeed. Poor Keith Floyd (now stable in hospital) was bankrupted by the business. As for the woman with the huge arse, in certain parts of the world she'd be on the menu.

BEAST said...

Mr Bananas , good point , you gotta keep you eye on the bottom line, keep your costs low and provide what the market wants at the right price .Good business practices and good food.
Its a startlingly marvellous bit of rump ...is it not :-)

MJ said...

Unless the menu includes a Norwegian fish whipping, your establishment has nothing to offer me.

Hammer said...

Waiter there is a hair in my pie...

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Unless the menu includes a Norwegian fish whipping, your establishment has nothing to offer me.
We aim to please Miss MJ
***slaps MJ with Halibut***

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
Waiter there is a hair in my pie.
If its ginger Mr Hammer , its probably Miss MJ's merkin , that flew off during the Norwegian Fish whipping(A house special)

MJ said...

Are you slapping me just for the halibut?

If it's ginger, it's Piggy's. No doubt about it.

Tickersoid said...

I believe, 'nouvelle cuisine' is French for, 'not a proper portion'.

Mrs Beaton said...

I shall await the next series of "Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares" with excitement!

mutleythedog said...

I am bit worried that all Mr Cuntts food will taste of fish...

Anonymous said...

thankyou for your suport on the first lezbion restruantin dortchester .. im sure the fish will be great hit.. poor keith floyd, i do pitty him i did offer hand but he was to pissed to listen, how ever ricky listened to my advice and owns half of cornwall.. how ever i think.. DT1.. THATS THE CUNTTING NAME, will be a house hold name, and dortchester A&E night mare! roll on the shits to who ever eats there.. its not just about food... lol

FirstNations said...

CONGRATULATIONS MR. C!!!!!

*dreaming of meat and two veg*

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Are you slapping me just for the halibut?
Thats the worst joke EVER

If it's ginger, it's Piggy's. No doubt about it.
What you mean you borrowed Piggies merkin

BEAST said...

Tickersoid said...
I believe, 'nouvelle cuisine' is French for, 'not a proper portion'.
Yet another reason to hate the french Mr Ticks

BEAST said...

Mrs Beaton said...
I shall await the next series of "Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares" with excitement!
Gordon has been informed Mrs B , I think his response was something like 'Well F*&K my b*%£^CK off *3$5g&^% &£"$£t%$ f*&k c*(t'
as you can see High paise indeed

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
I am bit worried that all Mr Cuntts food will taste of fish...
I like a nice fish finger Mr M , have you ever had two slices of toast , three fish fingers and a potato waffle , stacked in a sandwhich and slathered with tomato ketchup.........yum

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
thankyou for your suport on the first lezbion restruantin dortchester .. im sure the fish will be great hit.. poor keith floyd, i do pitty him i did offer hand but he was to pissed to listen, how ever ricky listened to my advice and owns half of cornwall.. how ever i think.. DT1.. THATS THE CUNTTING NAME, will be a house hold name, and dortchester A&E night mare! roll on the shits to who ever eats there.. its not just about food... lol

Whats that Mr C , the name of the cafe is to be DT1 and it is conveniently close to Dortchester Accident and Emergency unit.
Sounds fantastic

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
CONGRATULATIONS MR. C!!!!!

*dreaming of meat and two veg*


Oh you are a one Miss First Nations !

Daisy said...

usually when i am cooking up a storm...people start wisely walking backwards away from me...it's a sign...

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
usually when i am cooking up a storm...people start wisely walking backwards away from me...it's a sign...

I am sure you could temp the Beast with a few steaming epicurious delights Daisy

Newforestandy said...

I was wondering if you did some practise 'tossing' as it is Shrove Tuesday after all! Do you put cream on your pancakes? If so what type?

Pink Drama said...

i think i'll pass on the gastric delights of mr. cuntt. i'm not a big fan of food poisoning or throwing up. not that his cooking does any of that. i'm sure those 12people that were sent to the hospital via ambulance after eating his catering was only a coincidence.

BEAST said...

Newforestandy said...
I was wondering if you did some practise 'tossing' as it is Shrove Tuesday after all! Do you put cream on your pancakes? If so what type?
As it happens Mr Andy , I went to a pancake party last night , and stuffed meself with sweet and savoury pancakes and quaffed Martini's (shaken not stirred). My tossing abilities deteriorated as the Martini consumption increased strangly enough.....I feel a bit sick this morning

BEAST said...

Pink Drama said...
i think i'll pass on the gastric delights of mr. cuntt. i'm not a big fan of food poisoning or throwing up. not that his cooking does any of that. i'm sure those 12people that were sent to the hospital via ambulance after eating his catering was only a coincidence.
Miss Pinky , you could miss out on something good , Mr C's tender rump is the talk of three counties , so I am told

mutleythedog said...

I have tried the fish finger delicacy you suggested Mr B, and it was OK-ish.. afterwards I realised the bread had little blue mould spots.

BEAST said...

OK'ish ???

Food of the gods Mr M , an equal to the magnificent Fray Bentos pie and cadburies smash.

Pink Drama said...

tender rump? that calls for a "dirty!!"

and i'm sure you do indeed enjoy his "tender rump"

BEAST said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BEAST said...

Miss Pinky , I think I missed the word Steak out of my previous comment

Tender Rump Steaks

tsk tsk , you lot have filthy minds

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