Monday, 28 January 2008

WHAT I DID AT THE WEEKEND - BY BEAST


I would like to 'big' up my weeknd and pretend I had been doing a spot of Norwegian Fish Whipping or some such wild and exciting thing.
But no. The Beast has been decorating. Never one to suffer these things on my own , I invited Ma an Pa Beasty down for the weekend .I confiscated their car keys on arrival and divied out task lists , with a lecture that the tasks required to be completed in full and to the Beasts high specifications before the car keys would be returned.
After a bit of carping and grumbling , which i quashed by explaining if they were stupid enough to continually fall for this ploy EVERY time, it was really their own fault. Ma Beasty did whistfully complain that she thought we would be going out to dinner....... I scoffed at this suggestion pointing out she would be far too busy for that......honestly these pensioners expect everything on a plate.
Anyways after a hard weekend 'project managing' two work shy senoir citizens the Beast now has a marvellous redecorated bedroom , its painted in a colour called 'Seduction' , hopefully this is of a sign of things to come
****grins evilly***
*** Twirls imaginary moustache****

39 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Ma and Pa? Well, that's pretty humdrum. Don Juan de Beastie would have made half a dozen nubile women decorate his flat in the nude.

BEAST said...

well thats a good piont Mr GB , but now the bedroom is painted with 'Seduction' who knows :-)

Anonymous said...

watt do you mean who knows you couldt pull a pint let alone chick with a dick... seduction it sounds as good as the peach fucking blinds... watts with the tash beastie are you joining the clones.....

cafe la cuntt

MJ said...

You won't mind if I nick this pic for my Tuesday posting, will you?

There's a good lad.

*slaps Beast about the head with a wet fish*

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
watt do you mean who knows you couldt pull a pint let alone chick with a dick... seduction it sounds as good as the peach fucking blinds... watts with the tash beastie are you joining the clones.....

Pah what would you know , you have a Barbie pink bathroom

BEAST said...

MJ said...
You won't mind if I nick this pic for my Tuesday posting, will you?

There's a good lad.

*slaps Beast about the head with a wet fish*

HELP , HELP!!!!
I have been mugged by some big canuck bruiser

mutleythedog said...

I hope you got them a takeaway or something - pensioners cannot live on nothing you know. Perhaps a McDonalds or a KFC? If so is there any bits left over?

BEAST said...

Mr M , I made sure Ma Beasty had time in her busy schedule to cook dinner. If you leave your average pensioner unsupervised they just get into trouble , booking Saga holidays and squandering their pensions on Bingo and stuff.
There isn't any left I am afraid , all this 'managing ' makes one hungry

Pink Drama said...

of course you made your parents redecorate your flat. otherwise they'll squander your inheritance, and you'll need that for your plastic surgeries, now won't you?

FirstNations said...

"Oh, what a lovely home you have. Is this the bedroo
OH MY GOD STRIP OFF THAT SHIRT YOU BAD MAN OH DAMN IT FEED ME EVERY INCH OF YOUR


RULE BRITTAINIAAAAAA BRITTANIA RULES THE WAAAAAAVESSSSSSSSSSS






...wow, that IS good paint.

FirstNations said...

...







*realizes she was in the garage*

Mr Gaskins Curiosity Emporium said...

I always avoid colours that sound like exotic fruit based desserts. If I had my way it would be Desert yellow and khaki, olive green and battleship grey - all on one wall in a random polkadot pattern... so its a good job that my better half does the paint choosing.

Pink Drama said...

*laughs at first nation* i tried to tell you but you insisted that it was the bedroom since it had a padlock on the inside of the door.

mr. g - i didn't know that pattern was random. i just thought you couldn't quite decide what color to use.

BEAST said...

Pink Drama said...
of course you made your parents redecorate your flat. otherwise they'll squander your inheritance, and you'll need that for your plastic surgeries, now won't you?

Pinky , they have to be taught responsibility , they cant go gadding about , snorting them sanatogen gold old folks vitamins , with no responsibilities like supercharged teenagers ....its a disgrace

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
"Oh, what a lovely home you have. Is this the bedroo
OH MY GOD STRIP OFF THAT SHIRT YOU BAD MAN OH DAMN IT FEED ME EVERY INCH OF YOUR


RULE BRITTAINIAAAAAA BRITTANIA RULES THE WAAAAAAVESSSSSSSSSSS

...wow, that IS good paint.

*realizes she was in the garage*


Get a grip of yourself Madam !

BEAST said...

Mr Gaskins Curiosity Emporium said...
I always avoid colours that sound like exotic fruit based desserts. If I had my way it would be Desert yellow and khaki, olive green and battleship grey - all on one wall in a random polkadot pattern... so its a good job that my better half does the paint choosing.
Sounds lovely Mr G , girls make SUCH a fuss about colour coordination , and throw cushions and stuff , its no wonder they never have time to tinker in the shed and read the newspaper on the toilet

BEAST said...

Pink Drama said...
*laughs at first nation* i tried to tell you but you insisted that it was the bedroom since it had a padlock on the inside of the door.

mr. g - i didn't know that pattern was random. i just thought you couldn't quite decide what color to use.


Its true pinky , I have to lock myself in of an evening or I dont get a moments peace
Its hell being a sex god
****big sigh****
I do believe thats its only girls that do that daubing bits of colour on a wall and then agonising over which particular shade will match the curtains they havn't bought yet.
Once the smears of colour are there the boys just think 'well that looks good enough' lets leave it like that

Newforestandy said...

I thought slavery had been banished?

It sounds like your turning into a black widow, enticing an innocent victim into your web?

(makes note to stop travelling thru southbourne and boscombe)

Did you instal a mirror ball on the ceiling or just a mirror?

Daisy said...

beast i painted mine serenity...i think i need to reassess that colour...

btw...i have been known to go across the pond to decorate people's houses (painting included)...

BEAST said...

Newforestandy said...
I thought slavery had been banished?
Slavery pffft , I look on it as care in the community

It sounds like your turning into a black widow, enticing an innocent victim into your web?
Anyone whose stupid enough to fall for the old 'come up and see the colour I painted my bedroom' line is fair game in my book Mr NFA

(makes note to stop travelling thru southbourne and boscombe)
I was under the impression you were banned , have they lifted the court order

Did you instal a mirror ball on the ceiling or just a mirror?
How dare you , my bedroom is dead tasteful, acres of white shagpile , dorric columns , bowls of fruit , ceiling awash with capering cupids. The sort of place you could relive the rise and fall of the roman empire before tea :-)

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
beast i painted mine serenity...i think i need to reassess that colour...

btw...i have been known to go across the pond to decorate people's houses (painting included)...

Daisy serenity is good , you could go for a bit of that tantrick sex that Sting and Trudy go in for , non stop all day orgasms without going near each other....sounds well basically a bit much , not to say messy , and who would get the shopping done :-) .
Your a bit of an 'interior designer ' are you ???

UBERMOUTH said...

Don't trust Mutley- he ate my grilled cheese sandwich.
Great post. Made me laugh- yeah OPA's think everything is their due and nobody worked as hard as they did, blah blah , blah.

mutleythedog said...

Well I made the damn sandwich - and I ate it by accident...

mutleythedog said...

That was me howling in the back garden last night...sorry I was looking for mushrooms.

Ms Smack said...

I consider it a public announcement to my male readers to tell you that there are boobs at Smack Dab.

Message END.

xx much luv
Smack

BEAST said...

UBERMOUTH said...
Don't trust Mutley- he ate my grilled cheese sandwich.
Great post. Made me laugh- yeah OPA's think everything is their due and nobody worked as hard as they did, blah blah , blah.


Uber , we expect that sort of behaviour from Mr Mutley , thank you , I am glad you enjoyed it

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Well I made the damn sandwich - and I ate it by accident...
A likely story


mutleythedog said...
That was me howling in the back garden last night...sorry I was looking for mushrooms.

Its ok Mr M , I didnt hear you due to the howling coming from my bedroom ****winks***

BEAST said...

Ms Smack said...
I consider it a public announcement to my male readers to tell you that there are boobs at Smack Dab.

Message END.

xx much luv
Smack

Well bugger me its a public service anouncement.
I dont quiet get the whole boob business , a gob of fat with a pimple on the end ????
If I got a big boil on my fat ass would anyone want to see that ?
eh?
eh?
:-)

MJ said...

I've been trying for months to get you to submit a photo of your fat arse to me.

Hell, even Knudsen's got into the act today.

Just do it.

BEAST said...

Join the queue MJ :-)

mutleythedog said...

Smack
Well bugger me its a public service anouncement.
I dont quiet get the whole boob business , a gob of fat with a pimple on the end ????
If I got a big boil on my fat ass would anyone want to see that ?
eh?
eh?
:-)



You are even more gay than I thought...

FirstNations said...

If you'd ever seen 'the kremlin' it would all become clear to you, beast. actually, consider yourself fortunate. once you've attained the summit the rest is all downhill.

Hammer said...

Sorry I'm having trouble getting past the spanking pic. I wouldn't trust the oldsters to decorate my place unless I wanted something hideous.

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...

You are even more gay than I thought...


Never fear Mr M ,I was just being all ironic
It was obviouly wasted
I bet Jimmy Tarbuck doesnt have to put up with this

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
If you'd ever seen 'the kremlin' it would all become clear to you, beast. actually, consider yourself fortunate. once you've attained the summit the rest is all downhill

Miss FN , them Ruskies certainly know how to mount a glitening orb.
I myself have 'planted my flag' on many a summit , one does it becuase it is there ......or so I am told

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
Sorry I'm having trouble getting past the spanking pic. I wouldn't trust the oldsters to decorate my place unless I wanted something hideous.

The winters are long and hard in the frozen North and fish are abundant Mr H , I suppose the poor things have to make entertainment with what they have. The oldsters do just fine , if a firm hand is employed

Daisy said...

beast...i am not good at the non touching thing...i want to be grabbed and to feel it all...oh my i really do need to change this colour...
and no i am not an interior designer of any kind...but i can match things uncanningly well...and can suit things to people in a way that just comes natural...plus i like to work physically...it makes me feel good...

BEAST said...

Daisy , me too , there is nothing like a bit of hard physical labour to make you feel alive.The Beast Liar is very minimalist in decor....I hate clutter , it makes me feel mentally hassled

Daisy said...

exactly beast...less is more...i hate being crowded and end up throwing things out because i feel cramped...i try to explain this to other people and how having every single little bobble around and covering every single bit of space doesn't look like you have a lot of things...it just looks cheap and crowded...

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