Monday, 18 February 2008
FRESH MEAT !
Well what a weekend . I was supposed to be venturing out on Saturday for a reconocance mission to the soon to be Cafe C. Sadly it was not to be, as Mr C was lured out , by the pair on the left , for a Friday night of wild partying and didnt surface till late afternoon on Saturday with a horrible hangover.
Dont you just hate it when that happens.
Sunday. I scampered up to Mr C's for a mysterious mission(How Exciting). Unfortunatley on my arrival I bent down to stroke little Lloyd , something twanged in my back , and I had to spend the rest of the day shambling about like Quasimodo , not being able to sit , stand up or walk properley.
Still the Beast is made of sterner stuff and still manfully accepted my brief to infiltrate the Sunday coffee meeting of the notorius Dorset Poofs and cause a diversion while Mr C sweet talked the organiser and secure the futur business for Cafe C.
So up we pitched . We were met at the door by 'the organiser' , all puffed up and pleased with himself and dead smarmy(Lady Bountiful syndrome). I was grabbed , releaved of a pound for 'administration' purposes (Did I realise how much organising this modest little gathering took) , a name tag was slapped on my chest and I was dismissivley shoved into a room clutching a cup of coffee and told to 'mingle'
Well ,I took one look at this lot , eyeing me up in a very lavicious and predatory manner..I may have imagined the reptilian hissss of Yum Yum fresh meat ......it was hard to tell over the lustfull grinding of dentures and the impassioned click of replacement hips.
I scarpered straight out the back door.
As I slammed the door , breathing a misplaced sigh of relief , as I suddenly realised I had blundered into the Lair of the Separatist Lesbians. A frosty silence ensued , as they glared at me .Trying of remember my 'what to do if attacked by an enraged dog' training . The only thing that occured to me is one shouldn't make any sudden moves , so I nonchalantly sipped my coffee and edged back towards the door .Luckily his business concluded Mr C appeared and rescued me at that point and we made a run for it (well more of a hunched shamble in my case).
It was then off home to gobble handfulls of pills and stuff a hot water bottle down the back of my trousers to ease my tortured spine as I lay sobbing on my bed of pain.
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