Beasty is trying not to spend any money untill next pay day , as Beasty is broke. However the Evil God of Shopping keeps poking things thru my letterbox. Things that are so laden with special offers and must have coolness that one would think it would be hard to resist.
I was scornfully flicking thru a christmas gifts catalog the other day , taunting the Evil God with studied indifference to his glittery baubles and sleek black electronicals when I turned to a full page add which said
'HOW COOL WOULD IT BE IF YOUR EARS COULD LIGHT UP'
accompanied by a picture of a man in a darkened room with glowing ears , not fake glowing ears but his own glowing ears ..... yes glowing with an unearthly light.You could not see his face too well but his bearing screamed incredibly smug.My ears light up....I am Lord of all I survey. These fantastic bits of cutting edge ear light technology could be mine for only £9.95.
These were the coolest thing I have ever seen , I canvassed my lunch chums the next day and they agreed it was possibly The best Christmas gift EVER , and i scampered off home clutching money for 5 orders and the accolades of King of Christmas ringing in my ears , anticipating those expressions of wonder on Christmas morning as the lucky recipients opened their very own Ear lights.
Sadly , I had a recycling fit the night before , and threw the magazine away and would you believe it the bastards actualy emptied the recycling bin for once.I have scoured the internet to no avail . Dreams of Christmas illuminated ear fun have been dashed , everyone hates me
I am gutted :-(
29 comments:
I don't think you should attract attention to your ears. When I see a pair of glowing ears, my first impulse is to pull them hard.
I wonder if those devices could be adapted to light up a scrotum?
You could have used them in dark corridors at work to let others know which way you were planning to turn at doorways.
Ear indicators.
I assume you need to have quite large "wingnut" ears for the device to work effectively?
At the risk of being correctly identified as a sad no-life old git, I found this for you...
http://www.clownantics.com/nosesmisc.shtml
Not the same as the ones you were on about I think, but still, light-up ears are light-up ears.
Gorilla Bananas said...
I don't think you should attract attention to your ears. When I see a pair of glowing ears, my first impulse is to pull them hard.
Mr B , Its a mute point really as the fantastical ear lights are now lost forever :-(
Hammer said...
I wonder if those devices could be adapted to light up a scrotum?
Mr H , I am sure there are all manner of body parts one could aluminate to comic effect if one was lucky enough to own the ear lights
livesbythewoods said...
You could have used them in dark corridors at work to let others know which way you were planning to turn at doorways.
Ear indicators.
I assume you need to have quite large "wingnut" ears for the device to work effectively?
Great idea LBTW , I spy a christmas marketing oppertunity , or we could have Ambient Ears where the colour changes to match your mood
livesbythewoods said...
At the risk of being correctly identified as a sad no-life old git, I found this for you...
http://www.clownantics.com/nosesmisc.shtml
Not the same as the ones you were on about I think, but still, light-up ears are light-up ears.
Awww thanks LBTW , these are good but lack the panache of the originals , I fear them lost for ever :-(
Hawkins Bazaar. I bet that's where they sell them.
I think the same effect could be achieved with paraffin and a match. Not with scrotums though...
On a related issue - I saw an advert for a crocodile head bra - but it went missing in the same way. I wanted it for a friend.
livesbythewoods said...
Hawkins Bazaar. I bet that's where they sell them.
thats a great site LBTW I shall be visiting again for stocking filler related fun
mutleythedog said...
I think the same effect could be achieved with paraffin and a match. Not with scrotums though...
On a related issue - I saw an advert for a crocodile head bra - but it went missing in the same way. I wanted it for a friend.
Mr M was that a present for Jungly Jane ???? I think someone is stealing our gift ideas......I suspect the bitter and twisted Giles
there is a site which you may find interesting...i don't know why...but when i came across it and read your blog...i thought of christmas
http://www.australiagift.com/scrotum_shop/scrotum.htm
Daisy said...
there is a site which you may find interesting...i don't know why...but when i came across it and read your blog...i thought of christmas
http://www.australiagift.com/scrotum_shop/scrotum
Daisy thats another cool site , you cant go wrong with a kangaroo scrotum , Thank you , christmas is nearly sorted
what happened to the solar glow-boobs?
you could charge them up and...i dont know, have glowing boobs.
I have to admit my interest is piqued. glowing ears.
GLOWING EARS.
dude you have to find that catalogue.
...Oh yeah, baby.
do I take care of you?
I take care of you, Beastie!
I bet its either here, orhere,BUT MORE THAN LIKELY here
i am at your service beast...
couldn't let you completely down now could i :)
FirstNations said...
what happened to the solar glow-boobs?
you could charge them up and...i dont know, have glowing boobs.
I have to admit my interest is piqued. glowing ears.
GLOWING EARS.
dude you have to find that catalogue.
FN the solar glow boob is adorning my garden water feature , gently glowing to itself. Yes FN GLOWING EARS...... the yuletide pinnacle of coolness
FirstNations said...
...Oh yeah, baby.
do I take care of you?
I take care of you, Beastie!
I bet its either here, orhere,BUT MORE THAN LIKELY here
FN indeed you have saved the day , there will be no dissapiontment ,wailing and gnashing of teeth at the BEast family Christmas , as the last link is not only Ear lights but EAR INDICATORS that ALSO make a car indicator noise........... HOW FRIGGIN COOL IS THAT
Daisy said...
i am at your service beast...
couldn't let you completely down now could i :)
Indeed you didnt Daisy as well as illuminated ears , Ma Beasty will have a fabulous Kangaroo scrotum purse.....I am sure she will thank you all FOREVER
*****is getting excited about christmas now****
**** does a dance****
you actually have me a bit excited about it as well...
all is right in the world...beast is dancing...let me know when the vodka comes out and i will pop over :)
Yes the Crocodile bra was for JJ - it was supposed to have real snapping teeth and everything - I may have to find something else as you have cornered the market in incandescent body parts...
Daisy said...
you actually have me a bit excited about it as well...
all is right in the world...beast is dancing...let me know when the vodka comes out and i will pop over :)
Daisy the same thing happens every year...... The Beast wil Peak too soon , and be a burned out wreck come late December .... there will be tears before bed , mark my words
mutleythedog said...
Yes the Crocodile bra was for JJ - it was supposed to have real snapping teeth and everything - I may have to find something else as you have cornered the market in incandescent body parts...
Mr M , I think a personalised present would make JJ's Xmas ,a plaster cast of your parts , hand painted , using glow in the dark paint , would make anyones christmas ...errrr. .. memorable. Or dont forget the sprout anal beads idea JJ likesthat sort of thing
I shall adopt this idea Mr B!! Do you think boiling latex would work to make the mold??
mutleythedog said...
I shall adopt this idea Mr B!! Do you think boiling latex would work to make the mold??
It may sting a little Mr M , but hey it should burn off those warts :-)
beast i shall try to keep things in my back pocket for the crying times and brighten your day...let me know when the sniffles begin and i will jump into action!!!!
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