Friday, 20 July 2007
MAMOUTH HOOTERS AT THE BURTON VILLAGE HALL
The lovely Clare Forced me to attend a slimming world class in Burton village hall , on the premise that hubby Rich wouldnt go into an all female domain on his own(and then he didnt go) - not you understand because I need to go...oh no...my body is a temple , etc etc. (Beast whinges on for hours fooling nobody).
Anyhooo I am glad I did , it was unintentionaly very funny .
They were a desultary lot , one sour old crab who sat near the class leader , looking like someone had farted.A goodly bunch of housewifes of a certain age who from their total lack of enthusiasm had turned up for a cup of tea and a chat.One woman who was so confused I think she had stumbled into the wrong room.And sat at the back with her two skinheaded children was a marvellous peice of white trash , Morbidly obese, fantastically fake tanned , with a tight t shirt with rhinestone sized glitter spread all over a mamouth pair of hooters( a diversionary tactic one assumes -overweight.... LOOK ENORMOUS GLITTERY TITS) , who was prompted to evangelise by the class leader re her casting out her twice a day evil Mc D's habit (No one seemed to notice it obviously had'nt worked - see enormous glittery tits above).
Alleyluyah and amen.
The best bit was when the group leader jumped up brandishing a bunch of bananas in an alarmingly enthusiastic manner , shouting 'BANANAS' ....'ANYONE KNOW SOME INTERESTING THINGS TO DO WITH THESE'
Had Jungle Jane been hiding incognito at the class...the woman would certainly never ask that question twice :-).
However after an embarrasing silence , which just shouted the response 'EAT IT YOU STUPID BITCH' she lamely offered 'put it on a stick'......another deathly silence......'and then stick it in the freezer'.....tumbleweed rolls past.......'its like an ice cream'......group rolling of eyes
**** much suppressed mirth from Clare and Beast****
I garnered some other top tips , such as if you put your low fat yoghurt in the freezer for a very long time , it goes so rock hard it takes all evening and massive calorie usage to eat it......
HA HA HA
Banana and melon 'Suprise'.........
I am def going again , as I must have lost pounds suppressing fits of the giggles.Next weeks talk , MEAT , YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT !
I cant wait .
So dear bloggers what would you do with a banana ????
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