APPARENT WIND

Gratuitious picture.........guilty m'lud.

The Beast is back .

Stiff upper lip slightly wilting from the twin onslaught of a southern Mediterranean heatwave (feck it was HOT) and continental plumbing (savages!).

Still all in all a good week , the wind was a bit dodgy (weather wind.......not garlic tinged gusts in my surf shorts) . But we managed to get some windsurfing done.

Unfortunatley as the wind failed due to the heat on a few of the days the trainers feel honour bound to give you theory lessons , which was a bugger as in the event of not being able to get out on the water I would rather be floating in the pool , quaffing cocktails and scarfing ice cream and the like.

Now one of these hated theory lessons was about the concept of apparent wind.

This in essence means you can sail faster than the wind that is powering you .

Let me explain

If First Nations and Frobisher are pushing myself and Mr Mutley in a shopping trolley towards Asda/Wallmart at 5 miles an hour.(to buy some power tools for FN and some rubber gloves for Frobisher probably)

Jungle Jane and Mu Tai have other ideas and are pushing back on the trolley at 3 miles an hour (the sight of all that man flesh has obviously driven the two minxes wild and they are trying to get us into the bushes at the back of the car park for heaven knows what purposes) .

Now the result of this unsightly fracas would sensibly be the trolley proceeding at two miles an hour for a bit ( 5 - 3 = 2) towards Asda followed by an unpleasant but strangely arousing bitch fight, until the issue is resolved.

But STOP if the concept of apparent wind is true, the trolley containing Myself and Mr Mutley (who incidentally wont keep his hands to himself) should shoot off at a 45 degree angle( in the direction of Home Base/Depot) at 8 miles an hour (5 + 3 = 8) probably with Mutley screaming like a girl* (OK the theory of apparent wind doesn't say Mutley will scream like a girl ..I added that bit) .

Apparent Wind theory has the usual result of me frothing at the mouth followed by one of my smart ass friends pointing out , usually with the words

' I did physics as part of my degree (well aren't you special !!) , and I can tell you , the theory is correct ! '

BOLLOCKS! ....

So dear bloggers the choice is yours

On the one hand you have a theory that even a five year old child could tell you doesn't make any sense .I dont see how you can go faster than the force that's powering you, especially when it is being opposed by another force.

Or

My admittedly uneducated theory which to its credit has amorous hot blogging totty , shopping , power tools , and a mud wrestling bitch fight finale.

I think the Nobel prize for physics is in the bag , don't you ?????