Wednesday, 13 June 2007

BIRMINGHAM OR BUST !!!!



Saggitarians.........BAH.
Yesterday Mr C found the car of his dreams on EBAY.
Being a Saggi , he had to have it NOW.
If he didnt get it NOW there was going to be an almighty tantrum.As the resident down to earth , some would say plodding , Taurus (The personal assistant of the zodiac , like Ugly Betty without the braces ,if you will) , it was obviously my responsibility to sort it out (obvious to Mr C that is....I was not so convinced) .
And I did .
Just about.
By the skin of me teeth.
Culimnating in a 3 hour drive to Birmingham - with a muttering and twitching Mr C.
Not even allowed to stop and have a nice cup of coffee - becuase we had to get the car NOW , no time for frivolities.
We looked over the car , did a test drive , listened to the complete lunatic car dealer ramble on.
Drove 3 hours back ( got lost once , and nearly got side swiped by a monster extra wide truck on the M42).
So now Mr C has his car , and astrological calm has been restored to the universe once again.
I will be over there , in the corner , chewin a bit of grass , thinking about udders and swinging me tail (to keep the flies , saggitarians and virgos off my ass - note to self....a kalasnikov may be more effective)

33 comments:

NATEMARE said...

FIRST I'M YAY

Lippy said...

You were in Brum and you didn't just nip 5 mins up the road and call in?

hhrrmmph!

NATEMARE said...

At least he didn't mention swatting Aries with his tail...

Hammer said...

I never consult the zodiac while car shopping. Otherwise I would be driving a trabant

First Nations said...

i feel your pain. oh yes.
one past boyfriend was a saggy. he was going to be the next jimi hendrix OR bruce lee. meanwhile, hello, hot young girl with big tits here needs seeing to and you're practicing spin kicks in the mirror? bye, dipshit.
another saggitarian aquaintance hooked up with some random guy and got MARRIED because she was afraid of being the last one in the group to lose her virginity. oh yes.
terri wells was her name.
she had no bellybutton.

Jenny! said...

Can you tell me what kind of car I should buy from my horoscope...I am a Leo...what of that???

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
You were in Brum and you didn't just nip 5 mins up the road and call in?

hhrrmmph!


Lippy , I would have loved to visit , but as I say fun and frollicking was not allowed , we were on a saggi mission.....

BEAST said...

NATEMARE said...
At least he didn't mention swatting Aries with his tail...

The Taureans have something else entirely in mind for the Ariens...it involves boiling oil and pointy sticks

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
I never consult the zodiac while car shopping. Otherwise I would be driving a trabant

Me niether Hammer , altho I suspect I have bought exactly what was expected of me

BEAST said...

First Nations said...
i feel your pain. oh yes.
one past boyfriend was a saggy. he was going to be the next jimi hendrix OR bruce lee. meanwhile, hello, hot young girl with big tits here needs seeing to and you're practicing spin kicks in the mirror? bye, dipshit.
another saggitarian aquaintance hooked up with some random guy and got MARRIED because she was afraid of being the last one in the group to lose her virginity. oh yes.
terri wells was her name.
she had no bellybutton.


FN , I have to say , being a boy , a kung Fu Hendrix sounds cool , but having no belly button is even cooler.

*** practicing air guitar roundhouse kicks****

Frobisher said...

Saggyhairyarse is probably the most demanding sign of the Zodiac - apart from the dreaded Leo's

But for every action there is a reaction, for every push there's a pull - it's the law of the universe!

BEAST said...

Jenny! said...
Can you tell me what kind of car I should buy from my horoscope...I am a Leo...what of that???

Jenny right being a Leo you would like something quirky but classic however being a girl you would like an impractible heap of junk in a stupid colour(its derisory term being 'a hairdressers car' *)
Therefore a pink vintage volkswagon beetle is for you.

* the girl rule doesnt apply to First Nations , as she is firstly a Taurus , and has already established her butch as feck credentials , however she will probaly have hand embroidered throw cushions and a nice smelly thing hanging from the rearview in her monster truck

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Saggyhairyarse is probably the most demanding sign of the Zodiac - apart from the dreaded Leo's

But for every action there is a reaction, for every push there's a pull - it's the law of the universe


Frobisher your so right they are the Niaomi Campbells of the zodiac , tantrums , hissy fits , 'How dare you!!!Dont you know who i am' is thier catch phrase.
Are you very demanding Jenny ????

Anonymous said...

complaining again.. well i can tell you the journey up there with beast map reading.. and reading the aa report nearly sent me over the edge.. reading the map upside down.. reading the wrong roads out on the aa map trying to make small chatt laughing at his own jokes.. the telling me to stop so he could ask for diretions when he was holding them in his hand .. then people we asked for dirctions were from germany.. im suprised beast made it back alive... i had to self medicate too chill out.... and it wasnt a truch it was me trying to push you off the road :)_ cunt

mutleythedog said...

Had you ever considered the various possibilities in the Triumph range? For example the TOLEDO??

Thankfully the Zoidac does not apply here due to the presence of two moons! No not that !! Oh honestly!

BEAST said...

Anonymous(MR C) said...
complaining again.. well i can tell you the journey up there with beast map reading.. and reading the aa report nearly sent me over the edge.. reading the map upside down.. reading the wrong roads out on the aa map trying to make small chatt laughing at his own jokes.. the telling me to stop so he could ask for diretions when he was holding them in his hand .. then people we asked for dirctions were from germany.. im suprised beast made it back alive... i had to self medicate too chill out.... and it wasnt a truch it was me trying to push you off the road :)_ cunt

What nonsense , anyone would be glad of my company on a trip , its not my fault the aa gotthe directions wrong....next time I will go to the automobile association website for my directions rather than alchoholics anon.

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Had you ever considered the various possibilities in the Triumph range? For example the TOLEDO??

Thankfully the Zoidac does not apply here due to the presence of two moons! No not that !! Oh honestly!


A toledo in conjunction to Uranus....an explosive situation...astrologically if you as me

Anonymous said...

Glad!! Are you completley mad.. company, ive herd it all now.. twitering on about the price of coffee in the services! and how the price of fuels gone up.. and youR not to sure watt colour curtains to get for the front room... comeing to think about i reacon peach would look nice bla bla bla... Oh and the classic was cruiseing at 90 mph and you say oh look theres our turn off, were i say oh we have just gone past it .. great,, FUCKING COMPANY YOU SAY FUCKING BURDEN!

CUNT

Pink Drama said...

my catchphrase is - don't piss me off and we'll all be fine. i do have the occasional bitch-fit, but only with really stupid people who deserve it.

this is said in good humor. i'm laughing at this. i'm not taking offense. don't think i am.

*laughs at natemare - first i'm yay?*

and i'm confused by anonymous. anyone else?

BEAST said...

Pinky , anonymous (Mr C) is confused at the best of times ,I have alays put it down to the fact that he has a big square head , but as he has clearly been at the cooking sherry again , its best to just smile and wave.
As a fellow Saggi , you prehaps understand him better than most ???

Jenny! said...

Beast:
That sounds perfect! How did you know my fav color is pink??? And don't say b/c it matches my insides!

Newforestandy said...

I thought u were banned from Brum, Sir Beast? Did you waer your false beard, wig and glasses so u wouldnt be recognised? I hope you got thru immigration ok?

Mu Tai Dong said...

Geja' soy Mr. Beast!! are you feeling only to be well also xypnime' stupid No? I am turned over - thighs with mesolavi' - from Poland, I have one marvellous tasty present for you - by house gj' nonta sausage of the receipt styles of Poland, with noodles and I chow the Mein style! I request you accept my invitation letter so that it meets at my restaurant this evening!!

jungle jane said...

Fuck, you went to Birmingham and you didn't stop off to say hello to me in Essex?

Cunt.

BEAST said...

Newforestandy said...
I thought u were banned from Brum, Sir Beast? Did you waer your false beard, wig and glasses so u wouldnt be recognised? I hope you got thru immigration ok?

MR NFA, it was a case of mistaken identity , the major has apologised and lifted the fatwah.

BEAST said...

Mu Tai Dong said...
Geja' soy Mr. Beast!! are you feeling only to be well also xypnime' stupid No? I am turned over - thighs with mesolavi' - from Poland, I have one marvellous tasty present for you - by house gj' nonta sausage of the receipt styles of Poland, with noodles and I chow the Mein style! I request you accept my invitation letter so that it meets at my restaurant this evening!!

Hurrah its miss mu.
Mu Tai I am not attending any event with Mr Frobisher and a sausage , you know hwat happened last time.....i have never been so embarrased in my entire life

BEAST said...

jungle jane said...
Fuck, you went to Birmingham and you didn't stop off to say hello to me in Essex?

Cunt.


Miss JJ I see you are getting the hang of being an essex girl....
an essex girl was in a road accident
The paramedic asked her 'where are you bleeding from'
She thought for a moment and screeched 'Romford!'

mutleythedog said...

I can understand why you did not visit Lippy- but JJ?

First Nations said...

hell, he didn't visit me and i live in america.

hes just a stuck up british butthead if you ask me.

First Nations said...

.....*snif*

BEAST said...

MrMutley , I was not master of my own destiny in this instance , I was being dragged kicking and screaming by a mad saggitarius.

FN i agree with only the slight detour of a transatlantic flight , I could have popped in for tea , but would Mr C hear of it....oh no...yet another illustration of the unreasonableness of saggitarii

jungle jane said...

Well fine. In that case when i take my holiday in South Africa in September i am TOTALLY not stopping in at your place for a cup of tea

Fat Sparrow said...

Saggitarians are nowhere near as bad as your garden-variety Aries, who are plainly crazy. Of course, I am a Sagittarius, so I may be prejudiced. To make matters really complicated, I'm a Sagittarius with Taurus rising. In psychiatric circles, they call that "Bi-Polar," I believe.

You got off easy with the car. I once bought a non-running 1977 camping van with a disintegrating roof that had to be towed home. I sent it off to a mechanic, who ended up fixing it, but then I left it at the mechanics, due to a whole 'nother set of wacky circumstances. Needless to say, the Spouse Sparrow had massive shit fits about the whole enterprise. He is just so practical sometimes.

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