Thursday, 8 March 2007


I was driving back from Mr C's last sunday , down a lovely tree shaded country lane , when something lurking in amongst the branches let loose the most enormous sloppy turd , straight on my windscreen.
The wipers spread it all over the screen ,( like chocolate fudge) and I got a lovely waft of it thru the air con.
It took a good mile for the pouring rain to wash it off!!!! with me gagging all the way.

God alone knows what did it , but it must of been pretty damn big , or eaten way too much .

I smelt like overcooked brussel sprouts with nutty high notes.

Its good to share


Hammer said...

Was it a mammal? I swear ostriches must perch on my truck at night from the size of the mess I encounter each morning.

frobisher said...

Hmmm, those country birds live well don't they?

Perhaps a roosting sheep who'd had a curry earlier?

Anonymous said...

It was me - sorry Mr B - I am only a dog!

Lippy said...

Honestly that will teach me to read you blog just after breakfast!

Mental Mac said...

You can't believe how long I was sat in that tree!

Newforestandy said...

Sounds like you may have come across the low flying environmentally friendly New Forest muck spreading air ship that was on a test run in the area.

Sorry for any inconvenience the event may of caused, I have informed the Chief Engineer to ensure he doesn't drop one over any roads in the future.

BEAST said...

Hammer , as you can see there seems to be a dispute , it was iether Frobishers wel fed bird ...Mental Mac or a muck spreading zepplin.
I am voting for Mental Mac.....its not like its the first time , good to see your aim is improving tho MM

Eddie Waring said...

Could it have come from a low flying airplane?
overcooked brussel sprouts with nutty high notes.
That is actually making me feel hungry.

Yasamin said...

ooohhh gross. *gag* eeewwww *choke* speeuuuu *cry*

thats disgusting.. do you wonder where it came from?

i do...

Aunty Marianne said...


Looks like they've finally managed to genetically modify our livestock to provide the source for buffalo wings.

I shall dig out my waterproof hecky-thump cap (available from Snooks of Bridport in a range of attractive plaids. Am not kidding).

Mental Mac said...

I am back, properly now. The restraining order has been lifted.

First Nations said...

whoops. fed my dog some fish scraps with beef fat over. sorry bout that. next time i'll point him eastward before I express his anal glands.

(you think I'm kidding? mom gets ALL the fun jobs.)

Anonymous said...

Has the soiled underwear arrived yet? It will save anymore dangerous nocturnal washing line raids for a while!!

Mental Mac said...

More fashion ideas for the follically challenged

Old Knudsen said...

You should get that picture framed, thats one of the family that is.

BEAST said...

Eddy , good man , go and have a chocolate spread sandwich. came from an arse !!!
Aunt Marriane , I bet you look loverley in your cap and stiletto's.
Mental Mac....I am sure ALL the restraining orders havn't expired , I only took one out last week !
FN could sell that to Mu Tai (house special sauce).

Mutley I have responded re the brilliant underwaer on your marvellous blog.

Mentalmac , I dont know what you mean....I have loads of hair (just not on my head).

Old was very dear to me , I just didnt want to let it go

Tickersoid said...

All this about tree crappers just to brag about your air con.

BEAST said...

Tick , if I wanted to be really posh I would have called it 'Climate Control'.Equally I could have flicked on the heated screen and cooked the whole sticky malodorous mess and then peeled it off the screen :-)

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