Monday, 26 March 2007


OK its self proclaimed.

Beast king of the bloggers .....321 comments on one post.


Read it and weep.

OK if you want to be picky 310 of them where a 'tired and emotional' * MR C revenge spam attack.

I will now be concentrating on eliminating hunger , working with children / cute fluffy animals and world peace.

*twelve pints of beer , 3 rum and cokes , half a bottle of brandy and three glasses of that green sticky crap that Beast brought back from Greece worth of tired and emotional


Lippy said...

Blimey - Cunt has astonishing alcohol capacity!!

One bottle of wine and half a bottle of champagne and I was a basket case Sat night!

BEAST said...

Lippy , I took a wild guess at the amount of alcohol Mr C had imbibed as I wasnt present

Modo (unplugged) said...

While we are at it Mr. Beast... last Halloween my front door received no fewer than four thousand eight hundred knocks (counting your average door knock as six knocks; bump diddy bump bump... bump bump.) Beating its previous best (TV License enquiry operative) of three thousand six hundred.
This afternoon I am expecting the front door (which is a one hundred and fifty year old, pitch pine model) to face its most grueling challenge yet, as Mr. Bunting the village butcher, who I still owe for my Christmas goose, has discovered that I have been taking certain liberties with wife Veronica.
I will keep you up to snuff on the knock count!

Modo (unplugged) said...

Although technically speaking the gentle 'diddy' has double contact with the the door, I only count it as one knock.

The Hitch said...

Your Beastliness
I think you will find that its is The hitch who got the most postings -via guido- during the great 2006 who really is peter hitchens debate , nearly 500 and they werent spam.
Dont get depressed about it (=;

Modo (unplugged) said...

All I can assume Beast is that you have celebrated your enormous post by going on a day long pie bender.
Pie hangovers are the worse.

Tickersoid said...

I celebrated with mustard pork pies and creme caramel.
Jolly good show, Beasty old boy!

First Nations said...

i'm presently blogging on two lagers and a half-handful of a controlled pharmeceutical substance and yet i am in no way tempted to commentbomb you.
of course now the idea's in my head....
maybe i'll make freezerburritos instead.
*floats away dreaming of pinto beans*

BEAST said...

Modo , you seem to spend far to much time thinking about 'door knocking' , unless this is a euphemism for some dubious activity best enjoyed nekkid , may I humbly suggest you get out more :-).No pies have passed my lips , my body is a temple blah blah blah.Lettuce poisoning is a strong possibility.
Oh Mr Hitch , are we entering a mines bigger than yours scenario ??? Boys will be boys I suppose.
Tickers , I have never trusted pork pies , minced up lips n' arse in a cardboard pastry shell , the dogs have been enjoying the Evil Dr Martens crispy pigs ears of late (without mustard)....Creme caramel is the dessert of hairdressers , I would have taken you for a steamed suet pudding type of guy ????
FN pinto beans.. yummers , you must publish your recipe for freezer burrito's , we cant allow Frobi's brown rice horror to be our sole blogging recipe of the season.
I am looking after Mr C's hounds from hell again for two days , so we will be out and about chasing bunnies(Alfies fave thing) , and romping on the beach eating seaweed(lloyds)....we will take a vote of paws to decide which to do first !

frobisher said...

freezer burritos? Mmmm . . . post at once FN,remember the Beast Burritos?

*stomach lurches*

BEAST said...

How Dare you
My burritos were a gastronomic delight.......

First Nations said...

both y'alls burritos were delish, now stop it.
frobi's rice situation is going to be featured on the menu here at rancho firstnations pretty soon, only with wild rice or maybe tabouli as the Biker refuses to countenance brown rice; he says it will turn him into a hippie. (not t all hung over; god bless controlled substances!)

Anonymous said...

I have already eliminated world hunger and world peace Mr B- I am afraid you will have to concentrate on the cute fluffy animals. Oh thats me!

Tee hee !- its funny when my old friend Lippy says cunt **snickers childishly**

BEAST said...

FN I am with the yum bik on the brown makes ya scrotum shrivel just thinking about it.

Mutley thank gawd for that , i might have hadto share me packet of crisps.I dont like fluffy animals very much , unless they are turning on a spit(same with children really).....does that make me a bad person.
LIPPY MIND YA LANGUAGE !!!! honestly these foul mouthed lawyers

BABY JESUS said...

The people's flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyr'd dead
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
Their hearts' blood dyed its ev'ry fold.
Then raise the scarlet standard high,
Beneath its folds we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.
Look round, the Frenchman loves its blaze,
The sturdy German chants its praise,
In Moscow's vaults its hymns are sung,
Chicago swells the surging throng.
It waved above our infant might
When all ahead seemed dark as night;
It witnessed many a deed and vow,
We must not change its colour now.
It well recalls the triumphs past;
It gives the hope of peace at last:
The banner bright, the symbol plain,
Of human right and human gain.
It suits today the meek and base,
Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place,
To cringe before the rich man's frown
And haul the sacred emblem down.
With heads uncovered swear we all
To bear it onward till we fall.
Come dungeon dark or gallows grim,
This song shall be our parting hymn.

Anonymous said...

Did you write that crappy song yourself Blowjob?

BEAST said...

Oh god its poetry again

Chaucer's Bitch said...

shit, this place is hilarious. mind if i hang around a bit?

Mental Mac said...

Chaucer, are you flirting with the beast. Be careful, there is not any more room for another patio at chez beasties.

Tickersoid said...

God I hate suet pudding.
If you think pork pies are bad now, back in the '60's the best quality pies were about 1/3 the quality of the cheepest nastiest pies now.

BEAST said...

CB , you can hang around as long as you like , makes a change from the usual skanks and ho's I have lurking in the shadows.
MM I dont need anymore patio space for dissapionting date disposal , I have a new sideline Granny Beasties Traditional Meat Pies......Mr Tickersoid seems to particularly enjoy them

First Nations said...

i am not a skanky ho.
i am a bitchy ho.

nor do i lurk in the shadows. unless i am wearing my 'special' skirt and am nearby a boy's secondary..

BEAST said...

I didnt mean you FN ....its all of THEM
****points into shadows****

Aunty Marianne said...

Is anyone else wondering whether Baby Jesus is in fact Billy Bragg?

I LOVE pork pies. In fact, I love anything wrapped in pastry. I'd EAT anything if you wrapped it in pastry.²Pasties are my favourite, because they have a very high pastry-to-content ratio.

I suspect this is why I don't seem to be having as successful a diet as Beastie.

Aunty Marianne said...

P.S. Muttley hasn't done a very good job on the world hunger front, otherwise I'd be out of a job.

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