The Beast's entrepenurial spirit has been spiked by the news that the worlds most expensive cup of coffee has gone on sale at Peter Jones in Chelsea. 50 Quid will get you a blend of Jamaican blue and beans recovered from cat shit(its true , look it up you lazy barstids)
The Beast will be jumping straight on this bandwagon .I am overfeeding next doors manky moggy to secure supplies and bringing you a cheeky little blend of Lidl's finest value instant coffee mixed with geniune Bournemouth cat excrement.
I shall be calling this culinary marvel a Crapaccino !.
25 comments:
Or you could Hoover, oh pardon me, DYSON, the contents of your chickpea curried intestinal lining and serve it at your café.
yeuch. that's expensive coffee. you could add a litter latte, a frothy feline and a mocha moggie to your coffee list. or alternatively save the 50 quid and get someone at work to brew up for you.
I will stick to Folger's, thank you. It may not be the most expensive but at least, I can afford to drink it.
Salma Hayek's breast milk might cost more. How much would you pay for a squirt in your coffee?
Thats up there with Weasle Vomit Coffee, made from south east asian weasles fed coffee in their grub that they can't digest and vomit up... mmm.
Next on the market will be anal brushed sweetcorn cobs from San Francisco's finest.
Its amazing what the uber rich seem to find as 'unique' to spend their money on. C'mon you loaded bastards, give it to me...
tarf - have you seen the price of folgers lately? i've seen starbucks coffee sell for less.
beast - thank you again for the reminder to never imbibe around you.
MJ said...
Or you could Hoover, oh pardon me, DYSON, the contents of your chickpea curried intestinal lining and serve it at your café.
Miss MJ there is nothing left of my intestinal lining after the chickpea curry.Its Mr C's Cafe not mine so who knows what epicurious delights he will be serving up , but with the Hounds of Hell (Alfie and Lloyd) should prove a good source of prized designer coffee addatives - PedigreeChumFrappacino Anyone ???
Globus said...
yeuch. that's expensive coffee. you could add a litter latte, a frothy feline and a mocha moggie to your coffee list. or alternatively save the 50 quid and get someone at work to brew up for you.
welcome Globus. I will be sticking with my instant Nescafe , I am sure I can stir a cat turd into it , for that melt in the mouth experience
The Old Tarf said...
I will stick to Folger's, thank you. It may not be the most expensive but at least, I can afford to drink it.
I wonder how many people actually are willing to spend £50 quid for a cup of coffee....they must be mad
Gorilla Bananas said...
Salma Hayek's breast milk might cost more. How much would you pay for a squirt in your coffee?
Sadly I dont take milk Mr B , but Miss Hayek could warm my soya yoghurts between her thighs
Mr Gaskins Curiosity Emporium said...
Thats up there with Weasle Vomit Coffee, made from south east asian weasles fed coffee in their grub that they can't digest and vomit up... mmm.
Next on the market will be anal brushed sweetcorn cobs from San Francisco's finest.
Its amazing what the uber rich seem to find as 'unique' to spend their money on. C'mon you loaded bastards, give it to me...
Good Morning Mr G , I bought some of that weasel vomit coffee for my brother a couple of christmases ago (The wonders of ebay) I have to say , it had a rather peculiar flavour , one could add a handfull of diced carrot for added authenticity if desired , one could presumably serve the poo coffee with a twist of toilet paper hanging off the side of the cup :-)
Pink Drama said...
tarf - have you seen the price of folgers lately? i've seen starbucks coffee sell for less.
beast - thank you again for the reminder to never imbibe around you.
Dam and I bought a nice thermos flask with me
hmmm, cats... they have had the monkey crapachino for a while now, touted the worlds most expensive cup of coffee.... funny post but heres a link for you to check out while enjoying your nescafe..
truthorfiction.com/rumors/k/kopiluwak.htm
i fucking hateit when it cuts it off and am so not savy on the link in the comment box thing. if you google monkey coffee you come up a "shit load" of links... anyway, happy friday!!!
Beat- they are either mad or stupidly rich.
Yay voices , I found the monkee coffee :-). I wonder if it has a banana flavour
Old Tarf . You would have to be barking mad to pay 50 quid for a cup of coffee , especially one thats been 'previously enjoyed'
If it were offered to you, would you try it, just to see what the fuss is about?
beast did you see the bucket list? i think you would enjoy it...and you will know why when you start watching it...lmao
Ms Smack said...
If it were offered to you, would you try it, just to see what the fuss is about?
Hell yes Miss Smack . I will try anything once
Daisy said...
beast did you see the bucket list? i think you would enjoy it...and you will know why when you start watching it...lmao
I havnt seen it yet Daisy , sounds like its worth a go then
I was sent here by MJ at The Infomaniac!
wasn't that a song by Ted Nugent?
You gave me Cat Crap Coffee,
nar nar nar narrrr
Cat Crap Coffee,
nar nar nar nar nar.
something like that, anyway.
FERMENTATION, dipwads! thats what happens in kitty's colon! FERMENTATION!!
when you consider that the same effect is obtained by simply letting the whole coffee beans lie unattended in a nice clean pile for a bit you begin to see just how much WRONG there is with picking partially digested coffee berries out of nasty cat turds IS. let the rich have it, i say. anyone who'd pay for it deserves it.
*stomps off in a righteous huff*
Peevish: Whatever you do, don't sit on anything in here.
Beast is very dirty dirty man.
Peevish : Welcome , altho its generally a bad idea to do anything Miss MJ tells you to.
Miss FN . I concur.Hmmm maybeI should ferment my own , tho I dont fancy the hours hunkered over a seive to retrieve my morning brew
Miss MJ : How dare you the Beasts Lair is pristine , your just upset becuase I make you sit on newspaper
FN i hear you have the best coffee in the world where you are...my sisters live there and are always trying to get me to come by bribing me with coffee...
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