Friday, 4 April 2008
BEASTIES HELPFULL HOUSEHOLD HINTS
Fuck! thought Mavis, I was hoping for an orgasmatron 9000 turbo.
Until now vacuum cleaners have been associated with household drudgery.Many a practical yet confused man has bought one as a present , expecting a rapturous response , culminating in him being flung on the sofa with scant regard for the artfully arranged soft furnishings and strumped till his teeth rattle.
History has proved a 4 month headache and permanent PMT is the likely result.
Partly* this is becuase men harbour furtive fantasies of what bored housewives get up to when they are not there .A coffee morning could so easily explode into a maelstrom of dusters , pledge, pop up bra's and some spirited crevice tool action.
This vitually never (unless you live in Bridport) Happens.
As reported on ananova
A US mother-of-three has invented a sex toy that connects to a vacuum cleaner to give an orgasm in just ten seconds.
The gadget, called Vortex Vibrations, works by concentrating the air flow to create a rapid and gentle vibration, reports the Sun.
Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a minute a time - and it does not even touch the skin.
The 49-year-old former toolmaker was cleaning her carpets when she came up with the idea for Vortex, which sells for £35 through lovehoney.co.uk.
She saw how a piece of rubber that had got caught in the nozzle was gently resonating in the air flow. She also felt a soft stimulation to her fingertips as she tried to remove the rubber.
At the time Joanne, from Utah, had not had sex for 15 years following her divorce.
She said: "In my attempts to alleviate frustration, I began to think what I could do. I noticed how the rubber moved in the top of the vacuum.
"After several hours, I came up with the prototype. The first time I tried it I reached an orgasm within 10 seconds.
"That was when I knew I was on to something that could potentially bring pleasure to all women."
*The other part is becuase men are hopefull creatures dragged thru life by rampant genitals retricting the blood supply to their brains........ I should know , I am one.
** Some of you may dispute this - please send pictures
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