Tuesday, 4 December 2007

THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE


My little brother Beast Minor has been secretly reading my blog , which became apparent when he ratted on me to Ma Beastie in the middle of dinner re the moulton bike and the hand knitted hat and gloves posts.At this point Pa Beasty assumed a hunted look and said 'He didn't mention those damn daffodils did he'.......
Oh yes hunted and guilty he may well look as yet another buried childhood trauma came flooding back .
About 6 months after starting school , we had to go and live in Norwich for a while , So Pa Beasty could complete his doctorate . So I had to start another school , which is horrible when your 5. Still it went OK and the only thing I managed to achieve while I was there was to make this pretty damn good 3D effect daffodil painting(Van Gogh's Sun flowers pfffffft).I was real proud of them.
Now when it came time to move back home , my class had a little ceremony to see me off and presented me with the daffodil masterpiece , signed by everyone in the class , so I would have something to remember them by.
After a fraught weekend of packing everything up , we were eventually all loaded into an overstuffed car ready for the 5 hour journey home , as we were going down the drive for the last time , we passed the dustbins ...... and there hanging out of the dustbin battered and torn was my discarded daffodil work of precocious genius...........
Put there by Pa Beasty......
The swine

25 comments:

NATEMARE said...

FIRST I'M YAY

Similar thing happened to me while growing up in the great state of Tennessee. I made a "spice rack" (read: piece of crap) in that fantastic class called shop. My mother was so "proud"... and then I found it broken in the dumpster 2 months later. She claimed it was an accident... yeah right, looked like it had been karate chopped!

Hammer said...

I've embarassed my parents before asking them what happened to my masterpieces... "uh they must have been lost in the move..."


Swine indeed.

Mr Gaskins Curiosity Emporium said...

At least it wasnt contemporary art and made out of your own poo or something, I shudder to think what horrors secondary school pupils bring home in the name of art these days...

Gorilla Bananas said...

Forgive him, Beast, you have to be selective about what you carry when you're poor with mouths to feed. Be thankful he didn't leave you in the dustbin.

World Champ Stephen Neal said...

Maybe Pa prefers the conservative look of Social Realism, rather than your radical Dada collage ala Hannah Hoch.

UBERMOUTH said...

Right! Into a home , he goes.

Newforestandy said...

Obviously this could be the reason why you have periods of feeling 'down' ..... caused by this act of vandalism. I hope your going to sue?

BEAST said...

NATEMARE said...
FIRST I'M YAY

Similar thing happened to me while growing up in the great state of Tennessee. I made a "spice rack" (read: piece of crap) in that fantastic class called shop. My mother was so "proud"... and then I found it broken in the dumpster 2 months later. She claimed it was an accident... yeah right, looked like it had been karate chopped!

Terrible isnt it Mr N , this would explain the person you are today : -)

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
I've embarassed my parents before asking them what happened to my masterpieces... "uh they must have been lost in the move..."

Mr H , they have never dared throw anything away since , and still have a terrible magazine rack I made in woodwork..... its got a Frankensteins monster look about it

BEAST said...

Mr Gaskins Curiosity Emporium said...
At least it wasnt contemporary art and made out of your own poo or something, I shudder to think what horrors secondary school pupils bring home in the name of art these days...
I shall make you a 'special ' sculpture Mr G after eating a full jar of Gaskins Cranberry chutney to hasten the artistic process

BEAST said...

Mr Gaskins Curiosity Emporium said...
At least it wasnt contemporary art and made out of your own poo or something, I shudder to think what horrors secondary school pupils bring home in the name of art these days...
I shall make you a 'special ' sculpture Mr G after eating a full jar of Gaskins Cranberry chutney to hasten the artistic process

Rob said...

That's tragic, fathers can be so evil at times.

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Forgive him, Beast, you have to be selective about what you carry when you're poor with mouths to feed. Be thankful he didn't leave you in the dustbin.
Mr Bananas , you may jest but Pa Beasty was always a bit forgetful , he did once turn up to a school parents evening and completely confused all my teachers as he though I was my older brother

BEAST said...

World Champ Stephen Neal said...
Maybe Pa prefers the conservative look of Social Realism, rather than your radical Dada collage ala Hannah Hoch.

So champ you are saying I should finally let this rest as it was a selfless act of artistic comment , rather than a crushing blow to a childs emerging talent

BEAST said...

UBERMOUTH said...
Right! Into a home , he goes.


Oh I dont think he has suffered enough yet Uber

BEAST said...

Newforestandy said...
Obviously this could be the reason why you have periods of feeling 'down' ..... caused by this act of vandalism. I hope your going to sue?

Its a wonder Mr NFA that I can function at all without round the clock medical support......but we soldier on
*****Big Sigh ******
Have you posted yet
Have you ????
Its been six months

BEAST said...

Rob said...
That's tragic, fathers can be so evil at times.


Poor Pa Beasty , he has had to suffer me bleating about it for the last 40 years :-)

Daisy said...

awww beast...hugs...was that sympathic or pitiful?
i did something similar here not too long ago...not to my son but someone wanted me to hold onto this ship they made (one of those kit things)...i just couldn't be bothered to find a place for it and did find the perfect place...the bin...told him i trip and fell on it...yeah i lied...and didn't care...the piece of shit is out of my home!

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
awww beast...hugs...was that sympathic or pitiful?
i did something similar here not too long ago...not to my son but someone wanted me to hold onto this ship they made (one of those kit things)...i just couldn't be bothered to find a place for it and did find the perfect place...the bin...told him i trip and fell on it...yeah i lied...and didn't care...the piece of shit is out of my home!

***gasp***
The baby jesus will get you for this.....he he he
I hope your son finds out , and brings it up whenever he's losing an arguement for ever....I know I do.Works every time :-)

Daisy said...

i didn't do it to my son, beast...but someone who would not appreciate the humor...at all...and it was fun...i sailed the ship right to the bin...saluted and put it to rest :)

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
i didn't do it to my son, beast...but someone who would not appreciate the humor...at all...and it was fun...i sailed the ship right to the bin...saluted and put it to rest :)
Ooops I misread....the Baby Jesus will forgive you then
***hides model of Ark Royal in case Daisy bins it ****

Pink Drama said...

how dare he! i wish my mom would lose stuff i've made. she actually framed two of those fuzzy posters that i colored.

gb - his dad did try to leave him in the dustbin. he wouldn't fit.

FirstNations said...

see, i agree with pink here. my parents kept horrible, horrible things i had done as a tiny child on permanent display in their home. it was excruciating!!
now remember...nothing i did after i'd gone to art school,now....just the infant disasters. ha ha ha.

(oh lordy beasts family has been reading this stuff.)

BEAST said...

Pink Drama said...
how dare he! i wish my mom would lose stuff i've made. she actually framed two of those fuzzy posters that i colored.
I for one am glad he did Pinky , its given me 40 years of carping :-)

gb - his dad did try to leave him in the dustbin. he wouldn't fit.
I do do fit in the bin , dont think I havn't tried it

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
see, i agree with pink here. my parents kept horrible, horrible things i had done as a tiny child on permanent display in their home. it was excruciating!!
now remember...nothing i did after i'd gone to art school,now....just the infant disasters. ha ha ha.

I would love to of seen some of those , I bet they are hilarious

(oh lordy beasts family has been reading this stuff.)
Well they have had 40 years to get used to old Beasty and his funny little ways , I am sure it wont kil em :-)

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