Poor Beastie is doomed.
About three years ago , I finished work on Christmas Eve . In a fever of excitement I pedalled off in the pouring rain , hoping to jump in my car ready for the three hour drive to Ma Beasties , where the entire Beast clan was waiting to start the Christmas festivities.
Only some idjit left a few stray logs lying in the road , which I didn't see in the pouring rain...... I fell off my bike and buckled the front wheel.
With much muttering and mouthing of rich Christmas oaths I limped off down the road wheeling my poor wrecked bike.
It rained harder and harder , and within 15 minutes I was soaked to the skin , water was squishing out of my trainers with every step and my trackie bottoms were so waterlogged , they began to stretch, so the legs were dragging on the floor and the crutch was dangling between my knees like a festively filled nappy.
About half way home , I had to pass Charity Santa's house.
Charity Santa does a big show every year , the biggest and best house bling you ever saw , and he dresses as Santa and lurks for hours in a little tent on the roadside greeting throngs of children and parents , that come from miles around , he collects a fortune for various charities and makes thousands of kids Christmas a bit special.
As I dragged my sorry soaking self plus ruined bike past 'Santa's Grotto' , which was completely deserted due to the howling storm . Out popped attention seeking 'Charity Santa' and cheerfully shouted
'HO HO HO YOUNG MAN.... YOU LOOK A BIT WET'
to which I responded(not being in the best or most charitable of moods at this stage)
I insulted charity Santa..... :-(
Now I am cursed
And its serves me right !
Happy Christmas to one and all. I hope you all have a relaxed and happy time , whatever your doing