Tuesday, 1 February 2011


Another week rushes by .
 The Beast was promised Saturday Evening and a whole Sunday off(The first day off for about 5 months ). Sadly that vapourised before my eyes on Saturday afternoon.I was gutted :-(
Following a sunday of manhandling speaker stacks , furniture and Mr C's golden pussies , we set off to deliver James and the girls to Taunton bus station for their connection to the North Devon Coast.
Would you flipping believe it we missed the fecker and had to drive all the way there (another 40 minutes each way) .
Jamesd kindly invited us in for a cuppa before the return leg. On entering the kitchen , James's Ma peered at me and said
'Have we met???'
They all chorused 'Yes its Beast'
She peered at me again and said off course it was , it must be all THAT WEIGHT I HAD GAINED that caused her to not reconise me
WTF ?????

***General hilarity from James , the girls and Mr C***

She then made tea and proffered a plate of biscuits....adding quite unecesarilly in my opinion as she pointedly glared at me , that the garibaldi's where the lighter option

WTF 2 ????

***More general hilarity from the gathered throng***

I then had to put up with Mr C sniggering in a very irritating manner all the way back to Dorchester.

However there is some good news . Mr Coppens has finally packaged up the Freakin Green Elf Shorts and they will shortly be winging their way accross the Atlantic .
I now just have to keep them out of the grip of Miss MJ's Sphincter and all will be well.
That doesnt sound right does it ?
Miss Scarlet will no doubt be loitering outside Cafe C trying to waylay the postman .
She loiters in vain dear reader as wisely the shorts are being delivered to a secret location somewhere in Dorset


MJ said...

You are lucky that The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts have an elasticized waist band.

How do you know that Miss Scarlet doesn’t have secret connections in Dorset?

And what’s this about the gripping powers of my sphincter?

MJ said...

I await the arrival of IVD.

Talk about a loose sphincter.

BEAST said...

I was referring of course to your shady International Crime Organisation Miss MJ

xl said...

Another possible worry is that Canadians use beaver pelts for postage. Perhaps it will be turned around at the border?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

So, how many garibaldis passed your lips, Beast?

Here I am, MJ.

Unfortunately, I couldn't bring my sphincter as it's being utilised in a matter of National emergency: It is so tight that it's holding together the British Economy.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mis-read completely. It is too early and now I have a disturbed vision of you driving around the countryside wearing nothing but a gathered thong...

Scarlet Blue said...

Oh yes, that very secret location in Dorset... I know it well...
Game on, Mr Beastie!!!

MJ said...

I think "gathered thong" means that he has a wedgie, Miss Scarlet.

Scarlet Blue said...

I may have to relinquish my claim on the FGES if it spares us the sight of Mr Beastie wearing his gathered thong.

MJ said...

He's going to wear it and flaunt it no matter what, Miss Scarlet, so don't let that deter you.

Scarlet Blue said...

I visualise the thong as being made of greying white cotton that has been boil washed once too often... and I see him holding them aloft with a soapy pair of laundry tongs before lovingly feeding them through his mangle.
Why am I seeing this? Why is it so vivid? What is wrong with me????

MJ said...

Your crystal ball needs a good polishing, Miss Scarlet.

Scarlet Blue said...

I think I need a new crystal ball... this one is perverted.

MJ said...

A pervy crystal ball?

Have another look and see if you can see what Donn's up to.

Scarlet Blue said...

He is sniggering.... and I see a huge pair of boobs.... then the boobs vanish and Mr Coppens looks sad.

MJ said...

He must have just received his restraining order regarding Monica Bellucci.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Coppens has very nice pants though; clean and figure hugging.
***Blushes*** He has a very nice bum.

MJ said...

His pistol’s not bad either.

Scarlet Blue said...

Goodness!! Oh, my crystal ball has steamed up... I am losing everything....

BEAST said...

Your marbles perhaps Miss Scarlet

BEAST said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

All that Estrogen ...

Roses said...

Ho boy.

You'll soon shift those extra pounds trying to batten down the hatches and patrolling your premises to keep the FGES out of Ms Scarlet's clutches.

My money is still on her though. You don't stand a chance.

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