Monday, 11 January 2010

WET AND WILD


Fantastic news , James was cleaning out under the bar and has found the Love Mitten . I detailed my infatuation  HERE.

Oh yes I have learned how to do links , there is no stopping me now.

Otherwise it's been a slow old start to the year , its been freezing cold ,snow and  ice everywhere , there was even some attention seeking twit ice skating in the road outside The Beasts Lair the other day . I am assuming attention seeking as he had a film crew from the local news station capturing his tomfoolery for prosterity.It nearly made Mr C choke on his baguette(Thats not a vile euphemism it was cream cheese and bacon) when he saw it on the news having just finished harangueing me on exagerating the ice problem as an excuse for turning up late.....how we laughed (well I did as I executed a near perfect heimlich manouvre and then scraped cream cheese off the tv screen) :-)
What bizzare but timely intervention has saved your bacon dear reader ???

27 comments:

MJ said...

I shall return to the question at hand when I've recovered from your new found ability to do links.

I might need a lie down.

Anonymous said...

that is sooo true i could of choked on the cream cheese but im made of better things, see theres me thinking you attention seeking and blow me (thats not an offer either) theres people on skates out side your house... i felt ashamed for being so rude lol...

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I shall return to the question at hand when I've recovered from your new found ability to do links.

I might need a lie down.

Shall I use my new found super power for good or evil Mwa Ha Ha Ha HA

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
that is sooo true i could of choked on the cream cheese but im made of better things, see theres me thinking you attention seeking and blow me (thats not an offer either)
I dont do requests
theres people on skates out side your house... i felt ashamed for being so rude lol...
Pfffft

eroswings said...

Ha! You're saving lives and managing to make it to work in spite of the deadly winter weather.

You're picture should be on the wall for employee of the month!

Princess said...

Why Mr Beast,

how clever of you to be able to
kink oops I mean Link!
What an epic love story, you leave me smitten with envy, who would have thought that Mr beast had finally found true love with a mitten?!
Love seems to find you in the most unlikeley of places!
Even under the kitchen sink.
It would seem that there is hope for Princess yet!

Luv Princess XXX

*Princess turns and skips off gleefully toward the royal kitchen to rummage through her drawers in search of love*

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Ha! You're saving lives and managing to make it to work in spite of the deadly winter weather.

You're picture should be on the wall for employee of the month!
Its all in a days work Mr E , and now I know how to link , the world is my lobster as they say in these parts

BEAST said...

Princess said...
Why Mr Beast,

how clever of you to be able to
kink oops I mean Link!
What an epic love story, you leave me smitten with envy, who would have thought that Mr beast had finally found true love with a mitten?!
Love seems to find you in the most unlikeley of places!
Even under the kitchen sink.
It would seem that there is hope for Princess yet!

Luv Princess XXX

*Princess turns and skips off gleefully toward the royal kitchen to rummage through her drawers in search of love*
be careful Princess , the kitchen doesnt lend itself to blind groping , there may be some lethal implements lurking in the dusty recesses

Scarlet Blue said...

Is your arm made of felt, Mr Beastie?
Sx

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
Is your arm made of felt, Mr Beastie?

Your up early Miss Scarlet , did you wet the bed ??? This was mearly an artists impression of the love mitten . my arm is of course made of arm stuff (Thats a scientific description worthy of chanel 5) :-)

Scarlet Blue said...

I was woken by wind.
Sx

Princess said...

Dear Mr Beast,
Thank you for your kind words of caution.
So far I have found a rusting whisk, an egg slicer, and a knitted tea cosy. None of which are interested in a long term relationship unlike your mitten. Any suggestions?

MJ said...

The wind was trapped in Miss Scarlet's tights.

It is 3 a.m. here.

I was awoken by Miss Scarlet's wind all these thousands of miles away.

Scarlet Blue said...

...well at least the tights are dry now, but they are flapping about on a hedge.
Sx

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
I was woken by wind.

Flatulence is a terrible affliction :-(

BEAST said...

Princess said...
Dear Mr Beast,
Thank you for your kind words of caution.
So far I have found a rusting whisk, an egg slicer, and a knitted tea cosy. None of which are interested in a long term relationship unlike your mitten. Any suggestions?

A brief flirtation with the rusty whisk may spike the interest of the tea cosy......or maybe not , but count yourself lucky you dont have appalling flatulence like Miss Scarlet

BEAST said...

MJ said...
The wind was trapped in Miss Scarlet's tights.

It is 3 a.m. here.

I was awoken by Miss Scarlet's wind all these thousands of miles away.

What can I say Miss MJ , prehaps some Windeaze will help

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
...well at least the tights are dry now, but they are flapping about on a hedge.

I would advise closing the bedroom windows at night Miss Scarlet and anchor those tights more securely

BEAST said...

Once again a heartfelt blogpost , exposing my innermost feelings to public scrutiny has degenerated into a tangled web of innapropriate kitchen appliance abuse , flatulence and soggy underwear. Byron never had this sort of thing to contend with
Harumph !

MJ said...

What were we meant to be discussing?

BEAST said...

Soggy Tights
flatulence
A knee trembler with an egg slicer Anything you like Miss MJ

FirstNations said...

could we talk about noodles?

FirstNations said...

....the reason I ask is because just thinking about the phrase 'love mitten' is making me feel really...soiled.

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
could we talk about noodles?
I like noodles but I love the mitten

....the reason I ask is because just thinking about the phrase 'love mitten' is making me feel really...soiled.
Paradoxically the mitten is very clean , spending its day imersed in hot soapy water :-)

KAZ said...

I'm in love with the mitten as well and I'm so glad that you are together again.
I shall deal with my jealousy.

BEAST said...

Miss Kaz , I would be even more in love with a dishwashing machine , but for now the Love Mitten is good enough

Piggy and Tazzy said...

I'm bored of this one now.

Is it time for something new yet?

Slack cunt.

Which everyone knew, anyway.

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