Monday, 4 January 2010

A BRAVE NEW YEAR


New Years Eve at Cafe C , Frobishers dreams of a Las Vegas styleee all singing all dancing spectacular lay in tatters at the first sound check .
A disabled Beast was weaving his buffet magic in the kitchen , having previously almost brained himself on the extraction hood , but a mild concussion and profuse bleeding was not going to get between a true artist and his medium . Mr C had contrived a rather ameteur field dressing that was strapped to Beasts head and looked like a bizare victorian bonnet. Still against all odds , the buffet was conjoured , a bitter Frobisher was plied with gin and finally cajouled to the stage , where he proceeded to rip his adoring audience to shreds  , stamp on the prizes and abuse the time honoured calls to make his displeasure apparent .For example snarling TWO FAT LESBIANS  .....24 * as he glared balefully at the pair of spooning rug munchers on table two . It was like watching the oft rumoured deleted bingo scene from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane . The drunken audience loved it....Doubtless Cafe C has spawned a monster.

*The correct call is of course Two Fat Ladies ....88

18 comments:

MJ said...

I am convinced that Mr. Frobisher has morphed into a frumpy old lesbian himself.

Princess said...

Dear Mr Beast,

How unfortunate for Mr Frobisher to have a melt down in front of The lovely couple at table 2!

I'm sure that the "Laydees from Lesbos" would have returned to their abode and giggled profusely at there display of feigned outrage for Mr Frobishers benefit.

Well Most of my "Floor board" friends would have in the same situation.

I do hope that the knock on your noggen is healing well!

Luv Princess XXX

Anonymous said...

testing testing... one two on two!!have you got any pics of everyone danceing in wiggs??

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I am convinced that Mr. Frobisher has morphed into a frumpy old lesbian himself.
I thoght it was a tribute to Miss Marple

BEAST said...

Princess said...
Dear Mr Beast,

How unfortunate for Mr Frobisher to have a melt down in front of The lovely couple at table 2!

I'm sure that the "Laydees from Lesbos" would have returned to their abode and giggled profusely at there display of feigned outrage for Mr Frobishers benefit.

Well Most of my "Floor board" friends would have in the same situation.

I do hope that the knock on your noggen is healing well!
When Mr Frobisher is starring in supermarket sweep or somesuch , you can all nod wisely and say you witnessed the birth of a star , I am sure I will be ok once the blurred vision and tinitus calms down :-)

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
testing testing... one two on two!!have you got any pics of everyone danceing in wiggs??
Midge took 3 million pictures that night , so she probably has some

Scarlet Blue said...

Was Miss Marple a lesbian? Or Poirot in drag...?
Sx

eroswings said...

I can totally understand Frobisher's breakdown. Public displays of affection are too much in an eating establishment.

Or maybe the lesbians reminded him that there was no fish left for him to eat.

Donnw/2nz said...

The simultaneous occurrence of a Frobi rant and tonsil sucking Lezzies could have torn a hole in the space/time continuum that might have ended the dining pleasure of the feint of heart, as for me, it would have been awesome!

Must have pictures!!!!

Mu Tai Dong said...

Lesbian being then the person preferring sexual preferences not obvious in all different? Classes then by choices obvious not we the ladies speak only in secret in nineteenth century paste?

FirstNations said...

GODDAMMIT PEOPLE TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS AND SEE WHATS IN FRONT OF YOU!

FROBISHER IS SUSAN BOYLE!!!!!!

You're pathetic! Clark Kent puts on a bad suit and a pair of glasses and you're all like 'OO! Where did Superman go?" And now you've got the Tartan Titwillow calling the Bingo right in your faces and nobody bothers to EXPLOIT THE FACT FOR FINANCIAL GAIN!!!!! Take off that wig and see for yourself! Cripes; you call yourselves a Deordorized Monocracy; no wonder you make your schoolkids wear ties!

BEAST said...

Scarlet Blue said...
Was Miss Marple a lesbian? Or Poirot in drag...?

Thats how rumours start Miss Scarlet

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
I can totally understand Frobisher's breakdown. Public displays of affection are too much in an eating establishment.
I think the breakdown had more to do with the crushing blow to Frobishers dreams of fame and fortune

Or maybe the lesbians reminded him that there was no fish left for him to eat.

every one is totally focused on the Hot Lesbo Grinding , this is not Infomaniac you know

BEAST said...

Donnw/2nz said...
The simultaneous occurrence of a Frobi rant and tonsil sucking Lezzies could have torn a hole in the space/time continuum that might have ended the dining pleasure of the feint of heart, as for me, it would have been awesome!

Must have pictures!!!!

Look here's another one
***Throws bucket of cold water over Donn and vows never to mention Lesbians again***

BEAST said...

Mu Tai Dong said...
Lesbian being then the person preferring sexual preferences not obvious in all different? Classes then by choices obvious not we the ladies speak only in secret in nineteenth century paste?

At last , someone who is speaking perfect sense . A good point well made Miss Dong
PS can we have pictures

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
GODDAMMIT PEOPLE TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS AND SEE WHATS IN FRONT OF YOU!

FROBISHER IS SUSAN BOYLE!!!!!!

You're pathetic! Clark Kent puts on a bad suit and a pair of glasses and you're all like 'OO! Where did Superman go?" And now you've got the Tartan Titwillow calling the Bingo right in your faces and nobody bothers to EXPLOIT THE FACT FOR FINANCIAL GAIN!!!!! Take off that wig and see for yourself! Cripes; you call yourselves a Deordorized Monocracy; no wonder you make your schoolkids wear ties!

I think you can drop the willow from that moniker , I will send you a recording of Frobisher singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow , that will soon change your tune . Re the tie business , we all wear them all the time , even in the shower. One has to maintain standards you know

mavis boyle said...

my drink was spiked . . .

UBERMOUTH said...

But did you win any door prizes?

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