What has the Beast been up to during his week of non bloggery I hear you cry !
For one , I have been trying to re decorate the original Bedroom of Doom (See Jun 2008 Archive for Beast and The Bedroom of Doom 2).
I booked Wednesday off from work so I could do all my prep work . Sugar soaping , sanding and filling me cracks (Don't even think about it MJ) in readiness for a painting fest at the weekend. Sadly Mr C seems to be able to sniff out a holidaying Beast at 30 miles and had a list of far more important tasks for me to spend my time on.
Tell him to Bugger off you sagely advise , little knowing that Mr C is a past master in re organising the Beast , and as our old friends the Borg would have it Resistance is Futile .
This is how it usually goes . Beast is a Taurus and therefore somewhat bovine in nature , things need to be reconsidered at a measured pace while Beast metaphorically chews the cud . I find it very challenging dealing with a verbal flibbertigibbet on a mission like Sagittarian Mr C.
What ensues is a verbal Bullfight , Stoic Bullish Beast being goaded and prodded by a preening , whirling , posturing Mr C.
This battle of wills can go on for some time until either Beast grinds to a stuttering halt under a bewildering barrage of rapid subject changes , dazzling put downs and frankly ludicrous accusations
Mr C is the only person in the world who can get me so confused and indignant I end up stuttering - which is then seized upon with great glee and paraded as a sign of lying - which in turn makes me so mad I stutter even more) These encounters end with either Beast giving up and going with the flow (Its just easier)
Or on rarer occasions a Taurus tantrum ensures Mr C gets a goring :-)
Anyway on this occasion , Beast rolled over and dutifully trundled off to Dorchester to take Mr C's car to the garage for its annual service and MOT (Mr C being far too busy quaffing coffee , eating cake and doing a 'Stalin' on the hapless kitchen staff)
I hate driving Mr C's monster Range Rover , its twice the size of my car and automatic(Mines a manual).I don't know how to adjust the drivers seat , given that myself and Mr C are exactly the same height this shouldn't be a problem you would have thought.
Where as Beast is normally proportioned , I wear regular arm and leg length fittings .
From the setting of the drivers seat Mr C seems to have freakishly long arms and legs(and a big square head - but that's another matter)
If I sit normally in the un adjusted drivers seat , I cant reach the pedals or the steering wheel. The seatback is raked so far off the vertical , if I lean back I am staring at the ceiling. The lad is obviously a freak.
So Beast blundered off round rush hour Dorchester , precariously perched on the front of the seat , holding up traffic , bunny hopping out of junctions , stalling and due to a set of vague directions missed the garage entrance three times .
When I got back the coffee machine exploded , and the numskull chef managed to cause a baguette to mysteriously spontaniously combust and filled the restaurant with yellow smoke . so with all this excitement we scuttled off to the grand reopening of the bankrupt Woolworth's store , now taken over by the previous manager and opened up under the name of Wellworth's (Or Wellies for short).
The place was heaving with people wearing far too much gold jewellery and unnatural fibre , I managed to battle to the exit past ravening news station camera crews and was handed the foulest cup of free coffee I have ever tasted ...I think Mr C may still be in there , hanging round the glittery things counter......The boy is a human magpie :-).
Anyways I am now off decorating and travelling for the weekend and will be back to full blogging strength on Monday
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