Monday, 16 March 2009

SOMETHING MISSING


After my painting and decorating fest , having just thrown Ma and Pa Beasty out ,Obviously only returning their car keys once all the tasks on the list had been completed and checked , flipping lazy devils these pensioners in my experience , lolling about moaning about bad backs and replacement knee joints while they quaff bucket loads of tea and munch there way thru packets of biscuits and toasted tea cakes.....well not in my house , the blighters have to earn the pension I am paying for with my tax .
Ooooh Beasty , but they are your parents , who cared and nourished you during your tender years , how could you be so mean.I hear you cry..... tough love , gentle reader , its the only thing these silver haired slackers understand . Give em an inch and they will be off , tea dancing and squandering my inheritance on bingo , botox and werthers originals.
Anyway we digress , after Ma and Pa B had been packed off , I was gasping for a cuppa , so I popped round to the Gaskins , hoping they would have the kettle on . When I sauntered in Mr G dragged me into the garden and proudly indicated his latest garden project.
'What do you think??? he said proudly , 'Its taken me all weekend.'
I perused the free standing wooden frame , and offered
Well it will be great when its finished
After a squawk of indignation Mr G said It is finished , its a pergola
Where's the roof then ??? I asked.....to which he didn't have an answer.
Honestly ....whats the point of a wooden frame with no roof to protect you from a burning sun , or pouring rain.
It makes no sense to me at all !

30 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

That's a pic of Barbie's pergola isn't it?
Anyhow, a pergola is a nice place to hang nuts.
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

That didn't really come out quite right....it's been one of those days...
Sx

BEAST said...

It would be pink if its Barbie's Pergola , and your nuts would get if it rained , becuase

THERE'S NO FRICKEN ROOF

Gorilla Bananas said...

Even without a roof it's a way of marking territory. You'd know about these things if you had more jungle experience.

BEAST said...

Well I still say a roof wouldnt hurt , especially in the jungle with all them tropical storms and slithering horrors dropping out of the forrest canopy

MJ said...

lolling about moaning about bad backs and replacement knee joints

So you come by your moaning about the MANFLU honestly, then.

eroswings said...

Perhaps it's a new design to hang your laundry out to dry in the sun.

Then again, a nice tarp would provide a nice cover from the burning sun and freezing rain and filthy bird droppings.

KAZ said...

The point of pergola erection is to keep blokes out of the house and make them look busy therefore avoiding other chores like brewing tea.
Obviously such amateurs couldn't manage a roof.

BEAST said...

MJ said...
lolling about moaning about bad backs and replacement knee joints

So you come by your moaning about the MANFLU honestly, then.

Have you been drinking Miss MJ , that comment makes no sense at all

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Perhaps it's a new design to hang your laundry out to dry in the sun.

Then again, a nice tarp would provide a nice cover from the burning sun and freezing rain and filthy bird droppings.

A tarp is the way forward Mr E , altho it wont look very decorative

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
The point of pergola erection is to keep blokes out of the house and make them look busy therefore avoiding other chores like brewing tea.
Obviously such amateurs couldn't manage a roof.

You are a wise woman Miss Kaz , that is a very good answer , I knew there had to be a sensible reason

Lippy said...

AH yes ancestral visitations - mine are still here as it happens, just in time to co-incide with the sibling crisis! My fridge is stuffed to the gunnels with medication which requires to be kept cool and the AB is doing a "tea bag run" to the village shop about every three hours!

UBERMOUTH said...

hahahahaha I loved this post!

His roofless peroga is your 'tough love.'

UBERMOUTH said...

I meant pergola

BEAST said...

Lippy said...
AH yes ancestral visitations - mine are still here as it happens, just in time to co-incide with the sibling crisis! My fridge is stuffed to the gunnels with medication which requires to be kept cool and the AB is doing a "tea bag run" to the village shop about every three hours!
Its like care in the community Lippy :-)

BEAST said...

UBERMOUTH said...
hahahahaha I loved this post!

His roofless peroga is your 'tough love.'
I meant pergola
Blooming stupid Pergola's
***wanders off muttering***

Chris said...

Most pergolas I'm familiar with serve quite well as a chin-up venue after a few six packs with your homies.

BEAST said...

Chris said...
Most pergolas I'm familiar with serve quite well as a chin-up venue after a few six packs with your homies.
Welcome Chris . And well done for coming up with another use for a pergola . Altho I am not sure I have any 'homies'

mutleythedog said...

If you need a criss-cross effect sun tan then a pergola can be quite useful...

BEAST said...

Good Thinking Mr M , I have so many useful suggestions I may just have to build my own pergola , I need somewhere to hang me pants to dry , and a criss cross suntan is always a talking point :-)

MJ said...

Oh don't tell me you wet your pants again.

Frobisher said...

Pergola's are soooo eighties - I thought most people have ripped them down by now.

What you need nowadays is the Finnish BBQ huts, v. trendy - you can have BBQs in the winter & can double up as guest accommodation!
(I haven't told MrC about them yet - but its only a matter of time)

Hammer said...

Maybe a large umbrella would suffice.

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Oh don't tell me you wet your pants again.
well its the excitement Miss MJ , No man could take it without a little leakage

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Pergola's are soooo eighties - I thought most people have ripped them down by now.

What you need nowadays is the Finnish BBQ huts, v. trendy - you can have BBQs in the winter & can double up as guest accommodation!
(I haven't told MrC about them yet - but its only a matter of time)
Oh Nooooooooooooo , inflatable Jacuzzi madness was bad enough , ANy mention of a finnish BBQ hut and I am leaving the country

BEAST said...

Hammer said...
Maybe a large umbrella would suffice.
Indeed it probably would Mr Hammer , but some people just wont see sense

FirstNations said...

a pergola is to grow decorative vines up and over so that their leafy leafyness can flutter shade down upon you from high above in the summer breezes. most people plant trees for the same effect but there you go.

what the hell is a finnish barbecue hut Ratso? I was not aware that the finns even barbecued. it seems wrong somehow.

eroswings said...

Perhaps the pergola can be used to dry salted meats and fish to preserve them. Or maybe hang a swing or a hammock.

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
a pergola is to grow decorative vines up and over so that their leafy leafyness can flutter shade down upon you from high above in the summer breezes. most people plant trees for the same effect but there you go.

what the hell is a finnish barbecue hut Ratso? I was not aware that the finns even barbecued. it seems wrong somehow.
As usual Miss FN you are the only sensible one of my readers
***glares at other silly commentors**

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Perhaps the pergola can be used to dry salted meats and fish to preserve them. Or maybe hang a swing or a hammock.
Have you ever heard of clinwrap and a freezer Mr E ???
Now a swing would be great , just like being a kid again

About Me

My photo
Doing Other Stuff for a while.Mail /MSN messenger on beastch@hotmail.co.uk...COME AND SAY HELLO GO ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO